Breeder turned us down

[Sellingseashells]

Spoken to a breeder last night about pups due later this year. Was recommended by a friend.i though it was going well but breeder said no. Said he don’t sell to people with children. DC are 10 and 4. Dog savvy.

i know the breeder doesn’t have to sell to us, but I’m really upset. Is it worth trying again? What do I do?

Exactly, seems like they only stated speaking last night so not much of a conversation

Cocker Spaniels are chaotic, jumpy and yes can nip if they’re young/untrained.
My Step-Mum’s Mother has one and it’s fucking crazy. Completely and utterly untrained. Jumps up at my 7 year-old and scratches her chest every single time we go round.
They require extensive, ongoing training and maybe the breeder can’t see owners putting in the required work when they have young children.

We had our cocker puppy when my youngest was 4 and to be frank it was a bit of a nightmare. Puppy was a biter and jumped at youngest DC a lot. We had a trainer in but it was hard work. Totally incompatible with our life at that age. She did grow up to be a lovely dog and the DC all loved her but she was a menace when they were small. She was a chewer too, destroyed so many toys and meant DC couldn’t do puzzles on the floor, etc.

Fast forward to our second dog when youngest DC was 11 and it was so much easier.

Honestly I think the breeder is right. And if you want a dog to be a family member for the next 15 or so years then it’s worth waiting.

What 'case' do you think you have? You have children, the breeder doesn't sell to families with children. End of discussion.

Thanks.

I grew up around cockers so did DP. We lived with my parents for years whilst we saved for our house and were very involved in the care of their cockers. All my family have cockers or springers. We want a show cocker not working.

It would be our first dog with DC. I’m aware of issues that can come with the breed which is why I’m so gutted this breeder said no as ive heard good things from multiple people. Its also why I wondered if I should make the case. I can see thats not the done thing so I wont.

I dont want a rescue around my DC. Lots of horror stories and lack of support from rescues makes this not an option.

I would definitely consider a different breed. We chose a breed specifically that would suit young children and she was an amazing dog that we adored but when she died we did get our first choice (Labrador) as the children were teens by then.

Why would you risk your children being bitten?

I have a working cocker and a baby. While he was an awful puppy, we put work into training him and is a delight. Very gentle with the baby, livestock safe, fantastic recall, fun, affectionate, bo resource guarding ( in fact he brings his treats to you to hold while he chews). He is absolutely ball obsessed though which is a double edged sword! have a lifestyle that allows him to fully express himself though! I take him out hacking with my horse for hours and we live rurally with very few roads so he is rarely on a lead.

So I disagree that they aren’t good with kids, but you need to be able to give them the stimulation that they need otherwise they can have behaviour issues. They are also so popular that many unsuitable families probably get them and then they get a name!

What would be more helpful on these types of thread is if posters can recommend a breed that might suit OPs situation.

can’t personally advise cos we have a mad as a box of frogs Weimaraner and no young children.

I waited till my youngest was 8 before we got our springer spaniel - definitely wouldn’t have done it early. She is amazing around children, but initially was bonkers, but also my 8 year old also knew and understood how to behave around the puppy at 4 I’m not so sure she would have.

She is a wonderful dog and well trained but she is still a dog at then end of the day. And a 4 year old is still young to fully understand not to risk upsetting the dog unintentionally.

They're absolutely lovely dogs. But you have yo put in the hard work training them when pups to instill it into them. Recall is very important so when you do take them somewhere to have off lead play they come back to you when you see another dog or children approaching.

My girl is 7 and she's very protective of my 1 year old. I find it difficult to walk her as often as I used to since having my son. She still gets at least an hour a day but I have to walk with her lead round my waist so I can be hands free for the push chair. (They are pullers on lead)

I usually take her to a quiet fields or the beach so she can be off lead for the majority of the walk. She's ball mad as well that's all she cares about when we are out.

Not a breed for the faint of heart but they are very loving.

I understand you are upset , OP, but try not to take it personally. Breeders get a hard time on here but good breeders care about their animals and a bad experience can be traumatic. I know a pony breeder who had a very bad experience with a showing family. She was lucky, she got her pony back, but she decided she was never selling to a showing home again. That was over 20 years ago and she hasn’t budged on that decision. Someone else has behaved badly and left this breeder ultra cautious about certain types of home, it’s not about you. Keep looking, the right dog will find you, it might not even be a cocker!

I think any type of dog breed is a personal choice. Most people choose dogs based on size, looks and what they know.

I choose a Tibetan Terrier when DC were little. I did a lot of research for the right type of dog, few people do this. Tibetans are a robust breed and not faced by much in terms of noise, busy environment or even little time for walking. They do however want to be with the family at all times and don't like being left behind.
They also need consistent training in the first 12-18 months. Things I didn't know before getting one (as nobody tells you!) is that some can suffer horrendously with ear issues. Think exma & recurring yeast/ ear infections. This needs a specialist diet to keep in check plus the regular vet visits. (This dog comes from one of the top breeders in the country- so again, done my diligence. )

What I am trying to say is, that all the research in the world can't guarantee a fit & healthy pet.
I agree OP should branch out on different types of dogs/ breeds to find the right fit for the family.

In my view, a cocker spaniel is not a dog for first time dog owners. Good breeders will vet their prospective owners and will take the pups back if there are problems. This breeder is only looking out for their dogs best interests and wants to minimise dogs coming back to them.

We took on a lurcher at 8 months old. If the breeder had been half decent he would have been able to go back there ... I can't begin to tell you the distress this dog suffered being separated from his neglectful initial owners, even though his home with us is immeasurably better. My guess is it took him about a year to settle in with us (we've had him almost 4 years now). Putting a puppy with high energy and training needs with a young family is really not in the puppy's best interests.

When our children were small we had a toy poodle - they still bite but with less force than a bloody hamster! :)

I agree that cocker spaniels are hard work but it does seem you know the breed well and are committed, so try another breeder. I do think dog breeds are not interchangeable- if you just want a cooker then there is no point trying to suggest other breeds, because you do want the breed that makes your heart sing. I have bernese mountain dogs and wouldn't want anything else - if you really want a CS then keep looking.

It's a hard one. 4 is still very young. My friend recently got a Jack Russel pup with her 4yo who is a very sweet, calm little boy. He is great with dogs in the family, very used to dogs . She's has loads over the years, reputable breeder etc, but this is their first with the 4yo. He's very well behaved in general but she says the dog is just so exciting to him, that they can't trust him with the pup at all (obviously they are always in the same room anyway but she literally can't be a metre from him around her). He's constantly trying to pick it up, play with it, gets completely over-excited. Is getting up at the crack of dawn to see it, resulting in very tired child and parents which isn't ideal for learning (for him).
Obviously he will learn and she is teaching him, but she said she absolutely did not realise the impact the pup would have on the child and the implications on him, and therefore his behaviour. She wishes they'd waited until he was 6 or 7.
Perhaps the breeder is knows of/has similar experience to this.

I think it’s quite sensible.
we got a working Labrador last year. 4 children from late teen to 5 years old.
we have always had Labradors. And lost our last girl the year prior.

however our boy is jumpy and playful bites. he’s reached 30kg so far and isn’t full grown if he jumps he will 100% knock my younger girl over.

he’s a type of breed that needs a lot of stimulation. We walk him for 1 hour at 6am, 1 hour at 7pm and around 1 hour in the middle of the day. He still needs more stimulation on top of that.

working breeds are not lapdogs. They need a lot of time and energy. We find you need to give them a job to stimulate them as well

I have a miniature dachshund cross - people say dachshunds are bitey dogs but my dog has been an absolute dream with my kids. We got her first and then had 3 children and she couldn't be more gentle with them - takes food from them with great care if they're giving her a treat and will stand aside when it's her dinner time and they're playing near her food, as if to offer it to them first. She is very licky and will lick everyone's feet endlessly, but that's the only mildly irritating quirk she has. If I were you I would go to a shelter and choose a dog that the shelter has assessed as being suitable for a home with children. There are lots of spaniels around if you're willing to travel. If you're desperate to get a puppy from a breeder, maybe go for an English springer - we have lots in my extended family and they're very gentle. Or a golden retriever. Or a lab.

Yes but the breeder isn’t saying no because if you and your dh is he?

Totally agree with @Arran2024 Better to stick with a breed you know.

Have you been in touch with any of the breed clubs? They may be able to put you in touch with other recommended breeders. With luck, you'll find someone willing to make a home visit. We had a breeder do that with her bitch in tow, because, as we already had a large male, she wanted to see how we would cope with a second dog. In the end we got a beautiful pup from her, and she visited us socially on three further occasions.

Don't give up. You just need to make the right connections, even if it means going on a waiting list. I agree with others that a young puppy with a small child is bloody hard work, but, to me, it does sound as if you have enough knowledge and experience of cockers that you are prepared to put in the effort.

All the recommendations you’ve had for this breeder OP… none of them have young children do they Op?

I have a friend who breeds and is extremely picky about where her puppies go to. I think it’s responsible. There are so many dreadful breeders out there and this one sounds like they are looking out for both their dogs and others.

Yeah, sorry, but I agree. I am not against families with young children having dogs - grew up with them meyself and it was great. But I'd be hesitatnt about a cocker spaniel with no experience of the breed or dogs in general in any home, and one with young children wouldn't be my first choice.

What about accepting a knowledgeable breeder’s opinion that a cocker isn’t a suitable breed for a young family.

find another breed that is.

Where are you based?