Getting a puppy

[winterrabbit]

We are thinking about getting a puppy as our six year old is desperate for a dog and we haven't had much luck in finding a rescue dog. We've had cats in the past and my husband had dogs growing up but this will be our first family dog. We're thinking of getting a Cockapoo as it seems best suited to us as we live in London. We'll need to get a dog walker or some form of day care as we both work full time although I am at home 3 days Mon-Fri and DH 4 days, plus weekends. Just wanted to ask, just how much of a life changer is it?

Huge! Harder than having kids 😂

Honestly, you have a couple of years of chaos. They need decent walks but not too far at first. They want your attention all the time. You might get a chewer. You need enrichment activities several times a day, puppy classes to train. If you are working full time you need to imagine working with your toddler in the room…
When very young they need to go outside really regularly. They may well cry at night like a baby does.
But they are gorgeous!

Honestly please don't get a puppy because your 6 year old is desperate for a dog. It's a 15-20 year commitment so you need to get a puppy because you want a dog.

As for how much of a life changer it is, it's a huge adjustment. No spontaneous days out, no trips or holidays without planning for the dog, a significant financial cost including vets, grooming and food etc plus the time needed to properly socialise and train a new dog.

It is not a decision to be undertaken without a lot of consideration.

Its an absolute life changer and a huge commitment
Are you expecting a dog walker to come in as soon as you bring the dog home or can you take some time off to settle them in?
They wont be able to walk until they have had all their jabs but do need to be taken outside to see the world a little bit
You will need to toilet train which can take a considerable amount of time as well as training which is ongoing
You wont be able to leave a puppy for any significant length of time, its something you need to build up to and again, its ongoing and some dogs just arent happy being left
You need to commit time to train, walk, look after a dog all day every day
It sounds as if you havent actually thought about the impact this will have on your life?

We're thinking of getting a Cockapoo as it seems best suited to us as we live in London

Can you expand on this a bit? What about living in London makes a spaniel/poodle cross the most suitable breed for you?

What do you want from a dog? What is it about a cockapoo you like? Have you financially planned for lots of grooming and dog walker costs?

Cockapoos are high energy as they’re a mix of two working breeds.

It's as big a life-changer as having a child. Only, this child never grows up, never becomes independent and needs you every minute of every day for it's entire life.

It'll also shit in it's own bed, eats its own faeces if you don't give it proper nutrition and piss on your hydrangeas. But you'll love it anyway.

Cockerpoos would be a disaster though - high energy, highly strung, huge propensity to separation anxiety and health issues (because breeders tend to be very dodgy). Get something small and non-working, like a Shih Tzu - a dog bred to be a companion, not one bred from breeds made to work.

You will need very good day care for the first 6-18 months as puppies can’t really be left alone for longer than they can cope with and then you build up the time very slowly. A walker won’t be enough for a puppy.

Don’t do it! It’s like having a toddler that is not allowed to go most places and destroys everything you own

Don’t do it OP. Your 6 year old will soon lose interest and the commitment is massive. Your life will be turned upside down and inside out. The last two cocker poos I took for a walk were completely loopy (not my dogs). Very high energy.

Most children would love a puppy, but if both adults aren’t 100% committed, then don’t, buy a hamster instead.
I don’t mean to sound flippant but dogs change everything and I say this as a devoted dog owner. I’ve owned dogs my whole life adult life, but they are hard work.
The training, the exercise (both mental and physical). Then the cost of insurance, vaccinations, food, treats, bedding, leads, collars, bowls, toys. Kennels or a dog sitter when you want to go away. Then you mention a dog walker, so the cost of that too.
Some dog walkers won’t take an un neutered male, so that’s also something to think about. Male dogs don’t have to be neutered and certainly not before they hit maturity.

I love my dogs, but they take up a lot of time. If you go out for the day you have to plan for someone to let them out, walk and feed them.
kennelling isn’t cheap if you go away.

Despite this sounding a bit negative, I can’t imagine life without dogs, but there is a lot to think about. And once you’ve thought about all of this, the commitment they need to, which can be 10 years plus, you need to research your breeder. Unfortunately there are a lot of sketchy breeders so you really need to take the time to ask questions & make sure they offer a lifetime of support and do health checks on the dogs they breed from

Do it. Best things ever, we have a working Cocker spaniel, so high energy and had her since my DS was 3. They are the absolute best of friends they adore each other. Although we live in the Dale's and walk on the moors every day.
Growing up with a dog is special

Massive life changer tbh OP, the reality of having a puppy, but prepared to have some nights disturbed until the pup settles, toileting in the house until you have cracked it. Destructive behaviour. Zoomies about 5pm, possibly knocking your little one over. Pups don’t just fit in with family life, they are v hard work. That’s the bad stuff. If you can get through it, you will have a lovely dog for many years. Our dog we had from a pup til he was sadly pts at nearly 13, we loved him to bits, but no way would we get another, just too much of a commitment. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Getting a dog is nothing to do with a 6yr old. They will not care for it or pay for it or want to walk it in the rain in the dark after school.

Despite my earlier post… my new rescue puppy is coming home tomorrow. Wish me luck!!!

You should never get a dog because your kids want a dog. If they want a dog, they can get one when they’re an adult.

I pressurised my husband into getting a puppy because all three of my children pleaded and begged for one. The dog is now 3 and it’s a huge commitment.

You have no idea what your dog’s personality will be like, and no amount of training will undo their inherent personality. We had visions of calm walks, ending with our dog sitting under the table while we had a pub lunch. This is far from the reality. Our dog is nervous, jumpy and reactive. Great in the house, or alone in a field, but can’t cope with busy environments and we live in the middle of town and have followed all the training and rules since we got her. Have also spent a small fortune on behavioural therapy, but ultimately this is the dog we have.

I’d avoid poodle crosses, they’re an unreliable mix and are bonkers.

I think you need to go in with eyes wide open if you're considering a Cockapoo. Two highly strung breeds mixed. I help at a dog training group and we have so many. They often come in nervous, lacking food drive, resource guardy, barky, reactive....it's not an easy mix for a first time owner.

So many ppl have this breed mix. I hear they can be very challenging. Though if you were to get one crossed with a show cocker rather than a working cocker you might - might - get a calmer dog. They can upend your entire life. I’d go for a small non working breed like a shih tzu or cavalier King Charles if you do decide to get one.

I wouldn’t get a dog for a child, it’s a huge, costly commitment and you have to really want it. My parents had dogs so I knew about the commitment part.

You can’t let an eight week old puppy go with a dog walker, they need about ten mins exercise initially, they’re bones/joints cannot take more and they shouldn’t be doing steps/stairs either. They need mental stimulation, training, they wake through the night for the loo, you’ll be taking them potty every 30 mins throughout the day at first, possibly for a few months if they don’t catch on.
You’ll be getting that type of dog groomed regularly, so say £50 every ten weeks.
Food and insurance, possibly a dog walker once old enough. If your dog hates other dogs you’ll need to pay for solo walks.
You’ll need time to walk it come rain or shine, sickness (yours), I’ve dragged myself out many a time.
They chew your stuff.
Kennel costs, unless you have family.
If you are lucky they won’t need surgeries, or have health issues, insurance won’t cover it all.
Puppies bite HARD, draw blood, scratch, jump up.
Then, finally they’ll break your heart when they get old. I felt like I looked after an elderly relative the last two years, with private healthcare! But I loved him so it didn’t matter.

I don't think it's fair to get a puppy if you both work full time, even if much of it is at home. Our puppy is 9 months now but for the first few months it was like having a baby, she needed lots of attention and cuddles, no way would any of us have got any work done. And thats without the potty training and chewing everything in sight. Even now we have to make sure someone is home most of the time, if we go out as a family we stay local so we wont be leaving her for too long. And as pp said, getting a puppy because your 6 year old wants one is madness.

I wanted this breed for a long while and love doing deep dives in anything I’m interested and can concur that this is quite a controversial breed. Known for frequently being high anxiety with health issues and not particularly loved by vets. I’m sure there are some wonderful exceptions out there but think OP should do more research and probably would be better off with an established appropriate breed eg cavalier King Charles spaniel perhaps

Getting a puppy last year has been amazing for our family but I don't think it would've worked if our work schedules were like yours. Puppy's need a LOT of time.

I’m confused why you think a cockapoo is good for living in London? They are high energy and big personalities. Need lots of attention. Any spaniel or mix will be! They need open space runs off the lead every day.

ETA - we have a Cavapoo which is calmer. But still needs plenty of walking. We had 7 weeks off work between us when we got him so we could do intensive training in those early weeks, which has paid dividends and he is a great dog

Dog ownership is more of a lifestyle choice than simply having a pet. With your work pattern, I can't see how you could give a puppy the attention it needs.

Our last dog (rescue) died a few years ago when our daughter was a toddler. She was lovely and is much missed but realistically dogs are a massive bind, more so than children in many ways. We won't get another until our child is much older and I could never have a puppy - too all consuming.

Stick to cats or at least wait until you can adopt an older dog who wouldn't need as much attention as a puppy.

we got a puppy when dc were 9 and 12 (lockdown puppy) and that was a good age as they could help. We recently got a second puppy so dc are 13 and 17 and they are so much more helpful. It also means my teens still join me for family walks with the dogs.

Age 6 is too little imo and it’ll just be hard.

Really consider your lifestyle. We go for walks in pouring rain. We go paddle boarding and spend time outside a lot. Our two spaniels are the best and I’m definitely a spaniel mum (cocker and a sprocker) but if you want a cocker poo then it’s likely you really want a miniature poodle.

Poodle mixes are unpredictable, territorial and bark incessantly in my experience. I would be very cautious, lovely looking cuddly puppies, but you have no idea what one will be like as adult dog. Not the easiest to train either.