Getting a puppy

[winterrabbit]

We are thinking about getting a puppy as our six year old is desperate for a dog and we haven't had much luck in finding a rescue dog. We've had cats in the past and my husband had dogs growing up but this will be our first family dog. We're thinking of getting a Cockapoo as it seems best suited to us as we live in London. We'll need to get a dog walker or some form of day care as we both work full time although I am at home 3 days Mon-Fri and DH 4 days, plus weekends. Just wanted to ask, just how much of a life changer is it?

@winterrabbit I was where you are many months ago. I had my heart set on getting a German shepherd originally but I was a first time dog owner. I posted about it on here and was told firmly, but fairly, that it wasn’t a good idea. I was a little disappointed at first but the responses I got were from posters that are far more experienced than I am and I decided to listen and go back to the drawing board and I can’t tell you how glad I am that I took the advice that was given. These posters have since become one of the best support networks I have had - if not the best support network - since getting my pup.

I did what @SpanielsGalore suggested and completed a lot of different online questionnaires, decided what were non-negotiables and which ones I could live with (for example, I decided I could live with shedding but got a black dog so it doesn’t show up as much 😂) I made spreadsheets, gave arbitrary marks to each of the things that were important to me etc. and did tons of research.

I knew I wanted my dog to be a lifestyle choice as well as a companion, I knew I was very interested in the training side of things and wanted an active dog that would challenge me (I’m one of those weirdos that thrives under pressure!) but that could fit in with my 7yo son etc. I ended up with a working line lab. Looking back, part of me wishes I had asked more questions on here about finding a good breeder because the only reason I ended up with my perfect pup was pure chance rather than understanding fully what I was looking for (although health tests etc were excellent)

All of that waffling is essentially me saying, please please listen to the advice you’re being given. It will make the world of difference. There is an overwhelming amount of thought that needs to be put in to this decision and that’s only the start - once you’ve gotten the puppy you settle on, there will so much more to think about at that point too. When people say getting a dog is a huge commitment, they ain’t lying. But if you do it right, you’ll never look back.

I hate to be that person, as 'just get a rescue greyhound' is seen as a bit of a cliche on here, but many greyhound rescues will re-home certain dogs to families with children. Yes, it's true that not all greyhounds are suitable for homes with kids, but there are many that are (with the usual sensible management of course). They are super lazy and calm indoors - you couldn't find a better or less demanding WFH companion. Most pick up toilet training within a day or two, as they're used to being clean in their kennels. My greyhound is completely calm and neutral around my friends' kids (of course they'd develop more of a bond with their 'own' child, but my point is they won't be nipping or jumping up or getting in anyone's face). Maybe check your local greyhound shelter. :)

@Strawberrypicnic i agree. The only reason I didn’t get a rescue greyhound is that I thought it would almost too easy and that’s not what I wanted 😂

Greyhounds are lush! We rescued one and my parents are now addicted and have rescued 2 lurchers. My greyhound was definitely the easiest but he had separation anxiety and that was hard.

Er, we went to visit the owner, have met mum and dad, asked for proof of pedigree, health checks etc. We wouldn't get the rescue without going out to Spain to visit him. So who are you to say we know nothing about these dogs? Can you tell me what DD you did on your dog?? It's actually a miracle that 37% of the UK population own dogs going by these measures! I think I am reasonably intelligent, have raised 3 kids so can probably manage a dog!

@winterrabbit I think @tumblingdowntherabbithole is expressing concern about the fact that doodles are very often incredibly poor choices. They are often poorly bred, with poor lineage, dodgy health, and behavioural issues.

Let us try and help you to make sure you get the healthiest, happiest, puppy possible from the right background.

What health test evidence did you see for each parent? How many litters will the mum have? Are both family pets, or was the 'stud' bought in? If you 'asked for proof of pedigree', I assume that both the puppies parents will be KC registered...most KC registered breeders forbid their dogs from being bred from (it's called an endorsement). There's some dodgy ethics at work here (on the breeders part) if their pedigrees are KC registered and are being bred to make doodles.

We're only asking these questions as time and time again on mumsnet people think they have found an amazing litter, and it turns out the 'kennel' or 'home' is a well known puppy farm, or actually the puppies are coming from incredibly overbred dogs. We ask, and we quiz, because we care about animal welfare and ensuring people get dogs they are equipped to deal with.

Also, I would gently say that raising children is not comparable to raising a puppy. Too many people make that mistake. I have two DC and breed dogs. Trust me when I say, raising a child is like riding a bike with stabilisers...raising a puppy is like riding a unicycle, blindfolded, whilst juggling.

Trust me when I say, raising a child is like riding a bike with stabilisers...raising a puppy is like riding a unicycle, blindfolded, whilst juggling

Sums it up perfectly

@winterrabbit please don’t get too defensive, I honestly think people don’t want you to make a huge mistake here. If you get the right dog from the right breeder and put the effort in, you’ll enhance your life so much. If you make the wrong choice it could restrict massively, even ruin your life. Posters just want you to make the best choice for you AND for whatever dog you choose to get.

How would you feel if someone presented you with a baby and asked you to look after it, including sleepiness nights, poo on your carpets, costing a hundred pounds a month, needing to go out every day in all weathers, etc. That’s what it’s like!

Plus the sharp teeth, don’t forget the sharp teeth 😂

I'm just going to leave her here 🐶

I have children but she is the ABSOLUTE love of my life.

It is exactly like having a child. She's my first dog and I'd never, ever be without her ❤️

Please don’t rescue a dog from overseas. If you google, there is increasing concern about the ethics of many of these “rescues” (some are elaborate scams, basically selling dogs to unsuspecting UK owners - it’s quite the industry in some areas). Even where rescues are legitimate, an overseas street dog which has probably never lived in a house is not a suitable dog for a first-time owner. It will not have been well socialised, won’t be accustomed to household noises, is unlikely to be housetrained and is probably used to living in a pack on the streets. And the support afterwards if you run into problems is likely to be minimal, if there is any at all.

Posters on here who are anti-doodles are so for a reason. They are bred for a profit - there is no breed standard so breeders are not trying to produce the best dog they can (which should be the motive for breeding). The majority of breeders are either puppy farmers (very elaborate ways to cover this up, again do some googling on how puppy farmers dupe would-be buyers into thinking they’re buying from a family home) or amateurs who don’t know what they’re doing. A previous poster has already mentioned breeding endorsements. These are basically contracts which you agree to when you buy a pedigree to say that you will not breed it in future without the express permission of the breeder, who may agree to lift the endorsement at a later date. Responsible pedigree breeders only sell puppies with endorsements in place and would never agree to lift one in order to breed a cross, so this would immediately suggest that your doodle breeder either didn’t buy endorsed puppies themselves (so are not knowledgeable and shouldn’t be breeding as their parent dogs won’t be good quality dogs) or have ignored the endorsements, which is hardly ethical breeding.

The things which attract you to a doodle are the traits of a miniature poodle. Use the Champdogs and kennel club websites to find out what genetic health tests are recommended for the breed and then use Champdogs to filter for breeders who do these tests. Research what breeding coefficients are, find out the average for the breed and then ask breeders questions about the COI of the mating. Be prepared to be on a waiting list for a year or more and to have to travel some distance for a puppy and a good breeder should quiz you carefully to make sure you’ll be giving one of their pups a good home.

I'm a dog sitter and i wouldn't get a puppy. They are so much hard work. And I definitely wouldn't buy a doodle as so many are the product of elaborate puppy farms. You have no idea really what you're getting as who knows what else is in the mix. I know several people with doodles, one who turned out to be very ill once it came home, one that was much bigger than anticipated and all of them hate being left alone for any length of time.

If you haven't already seen it this thread might be useful too,
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/the_doghouse/5388192-cockapoo-breeders

The more you post, the more the red flags are waving.

Breeders shouldn't own both parents.
There is no such thing as a pedigree doodle.
Health checks don't mean anything other than the dog has seen a vet and been given a quick check over.
Spanish (and other overseas) rescues are known for having behavioural issues, health issues and for there being absolutely zero support for the owners.

We spent months researching breeders before we got our dog via the breed club. We were on a waiting list before our puppy was even conceived. Met the breeder multiple times before the puppy was born and several more times before we took him home. We have pedigrees going back five generations, clear health tests (not checks), good elbow and hip scores in all relatives.

I'm not saying all that to sound smug or to try and make you look silly but honestly, every single point in your post is a massive flashing "puppy farm" sign.

The breeder didn't own both.

May I ask what you did when you bought your dog? I assume you are beyond reproach?

It's actually a miracle that I've raised 3 kids, 3 cats and and looked after a number of horses.

May I ask what you did when you bought your dog? I assume you are beyond reproach?

I've already explained what I did upthread. I didn't say I was perfect, just that your posts are full of red flags.

According to who? Why are you an expert? 37% of the public own dogs. It can't be that hard!

And if the Spanish rescue dog doesn't work out - what then

do you and the dog fly back to Spain

do they have fosterers in the UK that will take the dog on for you ?

or are you just going to take him/her to the Battersea Dogs Home and give the dog up

A labradoodle - Good God !!! even bigger than your first thoughts of a Cockerpoo

why are you so determined to buy a mongrel ?

Considering how many dogs end up dumped at the side of the road, or in breed specific rescues, or euthanised (often for things that are the owners fault) or left at rescues...yes, it is bloody hard.

I say this as someone who breed dogs and who is involved in finding foster homes and permanent homes for the same 'family friendly breed.'

About 90% of the dogs I've helped find homes for are from young families where they have either attacked, or bitten, or snapped at, a young child and it is almost always the owners fault. Incredibly, not a single dog I know of that we have rehomed through our breed specific rescue has ever bitten or snapped again once they were taken away from their original home. And that's going back 15 years of being involved.

So yes, it is hard.

And lots of dogs end up dumped in rescue or sold on Gumtree, so I’m not sure that statistic means much.

I also never said I was an expert - you seem
oddly keen to put words in my mouth every time you come back to snipe at me

Exactly. And that doesn’t include all the dogs who are shoved in crates and ignored most of the day because their families don’t have the time for them.

I am a trainer, and I actually think that 90% of that 37% haven't a clue what they're doing.

That said, I appreciate your frustration as we found it impossible to get a dog from a rescue centre.

Good luck op it's a blessing and a curse for sure 🤣🤣

Well carry on being doom and gloom whilst enjoying your dog. I will carry on doing my research and will get a dog that's right for our family at the right time. I have owned pets all my life and not one has been neglected or ended up on Gumtree. Don't lump me in with those scumbags, thanks. I doubt they spent months doing their research, considering the responsibilities, speaking to RL friends who have the same breeds and agonising over whether it's the right time. Highly doubt it. So save your comments for those people.