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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Getting a puppy

110 replies

winterrabbit · 25/03/2025 17:24

We are thinking about getting a puppy as our six year old is desperate for a dog and we haven't had much luck in finding a rescue dog. We've had cats in the past and my husband had dogs growing up but this will be our first family dog. We're thinking of getting a Cockapoo as it seems best suited to us as we live in London. We'll need to get a dog walker or some form of day care as we both work full time although I am at home 3 days Mon-Fri and DH 4 days, plus weekends. Just wanted to ask, just how much of a life changer is it?

OP posts:
LandSharksAnonymous · 25/08/2025 13:18

@winterrabbit in which case, I can definitely speak to this particular mix. This is going to be long, so I'm sorry in advance.

Honestly, the Golden Retriever and Poodle or 'Doodle' do not need crossing with each other and the puppies that are the result of this pairing are never as healthy as people think. There's two reasons for this:

(1) The breeders will the healthiest Goldens or Poodles, who are the sorts of breeders you would want to buy from (put their dogs welfare first, do not get rid of the dog when it can't breed anymore, are selective about who they sell to, breed the healthiest puppies with the best temperaments) are simply not mixing their pedigree dogs. Why? Because they breed to make their breed better. For me, I breed Golden Retrievers.

I use this example a lot, but the boy I own...I could make high 5 figures from studding him. His hip score (I assume you know what hip scores are if you're looking at Golden Doodles or similar) is 2/3. His mother's hip score is 3/3 and his fathers was 4/3 (to give an example of how well bred he is). The breed average is about 17 total. All my boy's other health scores are equally incredible. He, along with his mum, are some of the best examples of their breed in terms of health but also temperament I have met. But I will never breed him with a poodle (or in general). Why? Because I breed to make Golden's better. As with all the Golden Retriever breeders I would recommend, I breed for the love of my breed. I don't breed for profit. So, if you accept that the best and healthiest examples of the breed are not being used to breed these 'designer doodles' then you also need to accept that the puppies that are being bred are not being bred from the healthiest examples of the respective pedigree. That means when you buy one of these dogs, you are already at a disadvantage in terms of your dogs health and future. Many of these dogs do not come from fully health tested parents (and there is never an excuse for buying a puppy if the parents are not fully health tested) and, even worse, many of them come from dogs that are not even health tested at a basic level.

(2) People often think if you breed two pedigrees you get rid of any health issues. But that's not true. If you accept that statement (1) is true, then you need to accept that the less healthy dogs are being used. Breeding two dogs that suffer from hip dysplasia, i.e. Poodles and Golden Retrievers, means your puppy still has a chance of developing the issue and, if you are producing a puppy from two dogs that are not the best example of their pedigree, your risk of that puppy having these issues is much higher.

Golden Retrievers are prone to all manner of expensive and, if not properly bred or - in very very rare cases, you are simply unlucky - life-limiting health conditions. That includes hip dysplasia and elbow dysplasia (which could leave your dog barely able to walk - which, in an energetic breed, is awful. And in turn often results in either a miserable dog or a dog with aggressive related issues [due to lack of exercise/stimulation] or behavioural issues [due to lack of exercise/stimulation]. They are prone to PRA, which again is life-limiting - you couldn't have them off the lead, for example. They are prone to heart attacks. They are prone to cancer (which can, in part, be mitigated by careful breeding).

'Oodles' or 'Poodles' are often prone to those exact same issues.

So, that's the health issues (which are, of course, expensive). Now, behavioural ones:

(1) Golden Retrievers are highly intelligent (except mine - I seem to just breed idiots - although mine have all done field work) and therefore require brain stimulation and training (and I do not mean just kongs and lick mats). They are high energy, even the 'show' lines and need at least 90 minutes a day. They are are incredibly mouthy - and they bite, hard. Even as adults, mine nothing more than walking next to me on a walk with my wrist in their mouth. They are also big. I've known them be as big as 48Kg - and that dog wasn't even fat. They are also pre-disposed to some truly difficult behavioural issues such as resource guarding.

Worse than all of that, they are really sensitive. That means that, very often, they are not great with children - despite what social media tells you. They don't like being tugged. They don't like being yelled at. If you are not there watching your dog and your young children then there will be an incident. I am involved in my local breed club and sometimes with Golden Retriever rescuing, and about 90% of the dogs we get in are being re-homed because they have 'attacked' (usually just a bite or a snap tbh) a child in the home who was, we often find out, tormenting the poor animal. And, of course, when something like a Golden Retriever snaps the bites are very nasty.

Oodles and Poodles have similar behavioural issues.

Most good breeders will breed for temperament as well as health - that means it can takes months, if not a year+ to find the right dog. Yes, it's not a guarantee. But how much effort do you think Oodle breeders are putting into finding the two right dogs to produce a litter - both in terms of health tests but also temperament? I spent nearly a year finding a stud for my last litter - I had detailed notes on every possible stud, their parents, their grandparents, their achievements in the ring, their achievements in working etc.

The risk you run, with a dog that has not been carefully bred, is these temperamental defects are even more likely.

Don't get me wrong. I love my Golden Retrievers. I wouldn't be without them. But, for all the above behavioural reasons, I would never sell to someone with young children. Most good Golden Retriever breeders (and most Gun Dog breeders tbh) wouldn't simply because we know our breeds so well and we know what the risks are. So what does that tell you about the 'Doodle' type breeders who do? Because they certainly aren't putting animal welfare, or the puppies future, or the safety of any children in the home, first.

Ultimately, the chances of you finding one of these mongrel breeders who put in even half the amount of effort a good pedigree breeder does, and has dogs that are as healthy as a good pedigree dog, are about as high as mine at winning Euromillions.

I've bred Golden Retrievers for just over 20 years now and DMum did it for 30 before me. I'm not necessarily a dog expert, but I would like to think I am a Goldie one. I raised my kids with Goldies. And that is why, even though I did raise my children with Goldies and DMum raised me and Dsis with Goldies, neither DMum nor I have ever sold to people with young children - because we know how hard it is to have a dog this big, that is so sensitive and so intelligent but also so stupid - and often doesn't understand 'no' - around young children.

But, you should ask yourself this: what is about Golden Retrievers that you don't like enough that you wouldn't want one, but you're willing to risk those behaviours/genetics in a mongrel? Because it is a risk. There's a very high chance the things you do not like about a Golden Retriever would be prevalent in any dog of the mix you are thinking.

Aurea · 25/08/2025 20:52

An Australian Labradoodle may be a good fit. (not the same as a labradoodle).

Many come from therapy lines, very family friendly and are non shedding.

Annialisting · 25/08/2025 20:59

An Australian labradoodle is still a cross and, as I understand it, there may be other breeds in its ancestry, so even more of a mutt.

I really don’t understand the obsession with crosses. I’ve had a golden retriever, a Labrador and currently own a poodle. These are all fantastic breeds.

Ylvamoon · 26/08/2025 07:10

Aurea · 25/08/2025 20:52

An Australian Labradoodle may be a good fit. (not the same as a labradoodle).

Many come from therapy lines, very family friendly and are non shedding.

Did you know that they can be riddled with health problems?
Dogs are neutered far to young, in order to protect the breeding.
Stay way clear!

Springisintheairohyeah · 26/08/2025 14:52

I'd suggest trying borrow my doggie or volunteering to walk dogs at a local rescue first. Try and arrange it for set times every week, commit 100%, and do it for 6 months.

It will give you a good opportunity to see how you feel about getting up and out in all weathers, having to cancel your plans or leave things early to fit in a walk or let the dog out, having to get up and walk the dog when everyone in your house has come down with a bug etc.

This isn't meant to be sarcastic at all by the way - it's just that it's really easy to think you want to do all those things, but the reality of the situation hits hard when it starts to negatively impact on your life, especially if it sometimes means having to de prioritise things you'd like to do with your child or partner.

I love dogs, I have two, and work as a dog trainer in my spare time - they are my passion and I'd never give them up for anything, but there are absolutely times when I wish I could just...not have them for a week, or a night. Because it really is a complete life changer.

Other things to think about...

Cost - vets, insurance, daycare, kennels over holidays, food - all adds up very quickly

Daycare - please research a daycare very carefully. In my experience good ones are a minority, many are a free for all where dogs run around mad all day. Owners think they are enjoying themselves because they come home worn out, but really they're just overwhelmed. Free access to other dogs all day can also create reactivity/frustration and absolutely blow your training/scupper your hope of teaching your dog to be neutral and calm around other dogs. Personally, I would avoid daycare at least until my dog was older and had some training under their belt. At a pinch I'd prefer a good dog walker who walks small groups of dogs and demonstrates the ability to have them all under good control.

Cockapoo - why? They are two high energy working breeds combined in an unpredictable way. They can be lovely, but they can be highly strung, and many trainers will tell you that as a breed they are also very predisposed to resource guarding, which is not a great combination with a small child. Grooming needs are also a challenge.

winterrabbit · 26/08/2025 18:15

Springisintheairohyeah · 26/08/2025 14:52

I'd suggest trying borrow my doggie or volunteering to walk dogs at a local rescue first. Try and arrange it for set times every week, commit 100%, and do it for 6 months.

It will give you a good opportunity to see how you feel about getting up and out in all weathers, having to cancel your plans or leave things early to fit in a walk or let the dog out, having to get up and walk the dog when everyone in your house has come down with a bug etc.

This isn't meant to be sarcastic at all by the way - it's just that it's really easy to think you want to do all those things, but the reality of the situation hits hard when it starts to negatively impact on your life, especially if it sometimes means having to de prioritise things you'd like to do with your child or partner.

I love dogs, I have two, and work as a dog trainer in my spare time - they are my passion and I'd never give them up for anything, but there are absolutely times when I wish I could just...not have them for a week, or a night. Because it really is a complete life changer.

Other things to think about...

Cost - vets, insurance, daycare, kennels over holidays, food - all adds up very quickly

Daycare - please research a daycare very carefully. In my experience good ones are a minority, many are a free for all where dogs run around mad all day. Owners think they are enjoying themselves because they come home worn out, but really they're just overwhelmed. Free access to other dogs all day can also create reactivity/frustration and absolutely blow your training/scupper your hope of teaching your dog to be neutral and calm around other dogs. Personally, I would avoid daycare at least until my dog was older and had some training under their belt. At a pinch I'd prefer a good dog walker who walks small groups of dogs and demonstrates the ability to have them all under good control.

Cockapoo - why? They are two high energy working breeds combined in an unpredictable way. They can be lovely, but they can be highly strung, and many trainers will tell you that as a breed they are also very predisposed to resource guarding, which is not a great combination with a small child. Grooming needs are also a challenge.

We've been registered on BorrowMyDoggy for over a year and have not got a single reply to any of our offers! As for volunteering at dog walking centres, not sure how that will work with a 7 year old given that they don't rehome dogs to families with young kids.

As for dog walkers, we have one two doors down on our street who is happy to help. The dogs seem happy in her care but obviously we would check references etc. My nanny's daughter is also a dog walker. There are several dogs in the street who get picked up for day care so I am sure we could look at those too. Obviously we would not chose a minder who had a large number of dogs and would not be able to use it at all in the first few months.

We have since ruled out a cockapoo but I am sure you'll find reasons to tell me why whatever other breed I suggest is not suitable?

OP posts:
TooHigh · 26/08/2025 18:22

I went out for lunch with my (adult) kids today and they described our dog as like having another toddler except he never grows up

I thought that was a pretty accurate description!

CraftyGin · 26/08/2025 18:34

We have a cockapoo who is now 18 months. He is such a lovely dog - straight out of central casting.

He gets two 45 minute walks (super fast runs) a day with his doggy friends in an off-lead park.

He doesn't spend a lot of time alone (eg 2 hrs a week at the longest) as we are both retired. When we had my son's wedding a few weeks ago, he had 13 hours on his own, with access to outside via the cat flap. He was absolutely fine - no difference between 2 hours alone or 13 hours alone.

I love him!

Springisintheairohyeah · 26/08/2025 22:07

winterrabbit · 26/08/2025 18:15

We've been registered on BorrowMyDoggy for over a year and have not got a single reply to any of our offers! As for volunteering at dog walking centres, not sure how that will work with a 7 year old given that they don't rehome dogs to families with young kids.

As for dog walkers, we have one two doors down on our street who is happy to help. The dogs seem happy in her care but obviously we would check references etc. My nanny's daughter is also a dog walker. There are several dogs in the street who get picked up for day care so I am sure we could look at those too. Obviously we would not chose a minder who had a large number of dogs and would not be able to use it at all in the first few months.

We have since ruled out a cockapoo but I am sure you'll find reasons to tell me why whatever other breed I suggest is not suitable?

Not at all, not looking to slate you, trying to give helpful advice.

I work as a dog trainer so see hundreds of dogs a year. Poodle crosses are up there as one of the most common breeds we get through our classes, and from my objective observation, have a disproportionate amount of both health and behavioural issues. Many other posters have explained the reasons why this is likely to be the case.

Re volunteering - I wasn't nevessarily suggesting you take your 7 year old (unless you're also planning on taking them on every single dog walk), I was suggesting you set a weekly time and commit to it yourself. Or you could find a local dog training class and commit to go along and observe every week which would also give you some good tips at the same time. It's in no way equal to the disruption of owning a puppy but it is at least an opportunity to see how some level of disruption would affect you.

This is intended to be helpful advice from an experienced dog kwner, in response to your post asking for exactly that

Lougle · 27/08/2025 17:32

winterrabbit · 26/08/2025 18:15

We've been registered on BorrowMyDoggy for over a year and have not got a single reply to any of our offers! As for volunteering at dog walking centres, not sure how that will work with a 7 year old given that they don't rehome dogs to families with young kids.

As for dog walkers, we have one two doors down on our street who is happy to help. The dogs seem happy in her care but obviously we would check references etc. My nanny's daughter is also a dog walker. There are several dogs in the street who get picked up for day care so I am sure we could look at those too. Obviously we would not chose a minder who had a large number of dogs and would not be able to use it at all in the first few months.

We have since ruled out a cockapoo but I am sure you'll find reasons to tell me why whatever other breed I suggest is not suitable?

"We have since ruled out a cockapoo but I am sure you'll find reasons to tell me why whatever other breed I suggest is not suitable?"

Not at all!

You just need to work out what is important, what's a deal breaker, what you can realistically offer, and then decide on a dog based on that. The reason dog ownership goes wrong or is harder than it needs to be, a lot of the time, is as I said above, based on my observations from puppy training classes. People want a particular breed of dog because of one characteristic it has, so they ignore all the other characteristics, or convince themselves that their <insert breed> is going to be the one that is so well trained that it doesn't exhibit what is inherent to the breed.

My two dogs are assistance dogs (one is qualified, one is training). We chose Labradors because they are well known for being relatively successful in the field. Certainly not every Labrador, personality and temperament plays a big part, but as a breed, they have the potential. There are lots of people on our programme that have chosen more exotic breeds as their assistance dog, but for some of them, their path has been rockier because the inherent traits of their breed just don't lend themselves to being non-reactive to people and dogs, confident in new situations, ok in crowds, able to cope with unexpected events, able to learn self-control, etc.

If you can only give your dog a couple of hours attention in the evening, say, then if you choose a pug you're both going to be miserable because they are well known for being 'velcro' dogs. If you want a dog that will just mooch while you get on with your day, a spaniel will be a nightmare. If you will get upset if your dog only responds to one cue in 5 properly, don't get a goofy Goldie. If you can't stand barking, don't get a Schnauzer.

I love spaniels. I love teaching them in class and meeting people with spaniels. I don't want to spend hours washing and grooming, picking bits of plant out of their fur, checking their ears, trying to get them back from the scent they've picked up...so I don't own one.

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