Getting a puppy

[winterrabbit]

We are thinking about getting a puppy as our six year old is desperate for a dog and we haven't had much luck in finding a rescue dog. We've had cats in the past and my husband had dogs growing up but this will be our first family dog. We're thinking of getting a Cockapoo as it seems best suited to us as we live in London. We'll need to get a dog walker or some form of day care as we both work full time although I am at home 3 days Mon-Fri and DH 4 days, plus weekends. Just wanted to ask, just how much of a life changer is it?

I'm not being "doom and gloom" or lumping you in with anyone

At the end of the day, you can do what you want - it's nothing to do with me or anyone else - but it seems a bit silly to come on here for advice only to argue with everyone who disagrees with you.

I know loads of friends and other families with dogs. They all say it's a commitment but completely worth it. All the dogs, of varying breeds, are happy and well cared for. They definitely "have a clue" what they are doing.

I am asking for advice, not to be told that my asking for advice "is full of red flags" which I object to. I am a responsible person which is why I am doing my research. Can't bear posters who come here to try to judge and patronise others. It's ok for you to get a dog but not me, right? Happy to take advice but stop the judgement and patronising comments. Three kids, one with additional needs, 2 cats, and a horse have all survived in my care.

Try to stop putting people down.

Just wondering if you have a specific breed/cross breed in mind, sometimes it’s worth looking on FB etc, to see if they have breed specific meet ups for walks. Then you can speak to the owners and see the dogs themselves. I’ve only ever had Bassets Hounds and grew up with them, but our Basset waddles are very popular across the country. We often get people coming along who are thinking of getting a Basset and want to speak to us all, find out the reality and meet the hounds.

That's great to hear. If they jump at you when you enter the house, fuss around when you're putting shoes on / leaving the house / preparing food / bark at the doorbell / pull on the lead, and many other behaviours, they may not be as happy as you think.

Lots of people have said the same as me and all you've done is snip back at everything I say. I'm out. Good luck

That poster didn’t ‘lump you in’ with those dog owners - they were saying that your point about 37% of people owning dogs is hardly demonstrative of how easy it is to get a dog. Or own one. Because most people don’t look after them properly or get breeds that aren’t suited to their lifestyle. Or simply just aren’t in the right place to get a dog.

Surely part of your ‘research’ was asking opinions from people one here? So why bother if you’re just going to attack anyone who is suggesting that you need to do your due diligence? Ending up with the wrong dog in the wrong circumstances could be detrimental to your family, as well as any pet you decide to get.

Thank you! 😊

Why don't you tell us what you're looking for in a dog, how much time you have each day for walking and training, whether expenses are an issue etc (thinking grooming), what size works in your house, and then people can comment on breeds.

Sorry, but that's rubbish. They may be not trained perfectly but none of these things mean they are unhappy

I think this is a good idea.
OP - you said earlier in the thread that you thought you needed to wait a while as you’re doing lots of ferrying about of your children, taking them to non-dog friendly activities and going to work yourself - have any of these circumstances changed since? Is someone at home most of the time? How long will you need to leave the dog alone for? How much time can you take off to settle them in? Would your finances allow for a dog walker/sitter?

ETA - I just re-read your OP and you answered some of the above questions

It can. I did say may not be. There are no definitives with dogs.

I’m with your friends OP. Having a dog is a huge commitment but totally worth it if you’re prepared to put in the hours of training and exercise (and extra cleaning). Life will need more planning and becomes much less spontaneous but personally speaking I wouldn’t be without my dog. He brings us so much joy and generally enriches life. Having to exercise him for hours every day has been good in terms of mental and physical health for us all.
Good luck

How do you know that "most people" don't look after their dogs properly? What are you basing that on? The dogs around where I live all seem very well cared for and I believe the UK is probably one of the best countries in the world when it comes to animal rights and pet care, unlike Spain, China, India and many other countries.

The problem is that if I name a breed we like then a million posters are going to jump in with why that breed isn't suitable for us and then tell me what breed I should get, so I would rather not. We both work from home most of the week (I need to be in the office 2 days and DH 1 day but we can work around each other so that someone is always here). Plus kids, especially eldest, are around a lot. DH can take over if I have to take kids somewhere and vice versa. We can afford and would get a dog walker to help out during the week whilst we are working.

@winterrabbit what breed is it?

By and large, the people who do jump in and flag that a breed might not be as suitable as you'd hoped, are the ones who know that breed inside and out and have had nothing but that breed for 20 or even 30+ years. Lots of breeds have a brilliant reputation, but much of that sugar coats the difficult truth of owning that breed...

Or, you might find that we have experience of the breed and can help you decide whether it's a good match for you. I teach puppy classes and when you get Beagle owners complaining that their dog just wants to sniff, Spaniel owners who complain that their puppy won't stay still, Collie owners who say that their puppy nips and circles, Yorkshire Terrier owners who complain that they have to bend down to give treats (that's not going to change... they'll be small forever), Labrador owners who complain about chewing, Poodle owners who complain about the puppy being anxious, Schnauzer owners who complain that their puppy barks..... Well, yes, that's what your breed of dog does.

I'm not saying we'll put you off. You might nod along and think 'that's exactly what we want!' Some people (not many, tbh) genuinely are suited to own a Collie. Some people actively want a dog that will walk and run for hours and hours and never get tired. Some people live in a rural country home where barking really doesn't matter. But it's far better to get a realistic overview and think 'hmm...not sure that will work' than spending 10 years trying to change the fundamental characteristics of your dog or, worse, having to re-home because you can't cope with the dog you have.

@winterrabbit the worst thing you can possibly do is make sure someone is home all the time. Lockdown created thousands of anxious dogs that can't cope with being left alone. You need to try and go out for a few minutes (even if just 5) from the moment you bring the puppy home, so that it's normal.

Will this vile whateverpoo trend never end??? I'm sick of seeing the ignorant name of this mixed breed dog and the posts make me despair. Need a block word function on MN.

Get a cocker spaniel or a poodle OP. You don't need or want a parrotpoo, siberiancatpoo, zebrapoo, rottiepoo etc

Do you want a docile breed? Or high energy? Playful? How many walks per day and for how long? (Whether it's you or the dog walker), small? Medium? Large?

Fuck no.

Getting a puppy ruined my life. I cry every day. She is cuddled, fed and walked - she is well looked after.

But if I knew what I know now.

I daren't even say it as I will get slated!

One I daren't say but is a well known family dog that may have the word "doodle" in its name. The other is an golden retriever.

Ok, so common doodle breeds are a bit Heinz 57. People often think they're getting a non-shedding dog with the intelligence of a poodle and the personality of a lab. Some do, to be fair. A large proportion don't. Poodles are highly intelligent but also highly active and can be prone to anxiety. They need careful management to avoid resource guarding. Labs are wonderful (I have two) but can be boisterous and very mouthy. Labs vary in size hugely (I have two very small labs that are 18kg fully grown, but I have a friend whose lab is a similar age to one of mine and he's 40kg). The coat will vary from being tight curly like a poodle to a vaguely wavy shaggy coat. Labs have double coats so that can cause problems combined with the curly poodle and they often do shed.

Golden Retrievers are fab, in the main, but they really don't grow up until at least 3-4, so you have a big overgrown puppy for a long time. They are very, very, sensitive, so they don't respond well at all to telling off. They can get into trouble with other dogs because they are so goofy. They shed like an absolute carpet. They tend to be very mouthy. They can be highly intelligent but their work drive can be questionable. We have two in our gold class and you can never predict if they'll do an exercise perfectly, or roll around on the floor grinning. I had a GSDxGR and he was incredibly sensitive. He would pick up his feet if he saw a tiny mouse, and he wouldn't walk past an obstacle if it looked a bit weird (e.g. if we turned a small table on its side to get it out of the house, he got really worried).

What appeals to you about those breeds? I won't slate you.