Getting a puppy

[winterrabbit]

We are thinking about getting a puppy as our six year old is desperate for a dog and we haven't had much luck in finding a rescue dog. We've had cats in the past and my husband had dogs growing up but this will be our first family dog. We're thinking of getting a Cockapoo as it seems best suited to us as we live in London. We'll need to get a dog walker or some form of day care as we both work full time although I am at home 3 days Mon-Fri and DH 4 days, plus weekends. Just wanted to ask, just how much of a life changer is it?

You’re not my daughter, are you?

No, of course, because her child is 8 and she isn’t in London. She has a demanding full time job, wfh half the week, newish partner recently moved in, his 10 yr old stays EOW. And she’s planning to get a red Labrador puppy from an established gundog breeding kennels.

What could possibly go wrong with a large breed, from strong working lines, kennel reared?

DO NOT GET A COOKERPOO!

I'm shouting, but I really mean this in the kindest possible way. I have a failed pet cookerpoo, probably mini Poodle x Working Cooker, I took her in at around 6 months old as the family couldn't cope. She's a nervous, neurotic jumping bean and ball / toy junkie. It took nearly 18 months to house train ... she's clingy and won't settle unless she's close to to her favourite person..... so potentially you could end up with one just like my little girl! she's also sweet and cuddly and actually very biddable, we do K9 sports and she's found her calling in doing agility

Have a look at companion breeds, they are easier to handle. And then be prepared to take your dog to some sort of formal training class for the first 18 months... DC can be involved in training, but be prepared to do the early morning walks in cold, windy & rainy weather. You will be cleaning up after the dog and you will be cutting days out short because the dog also needs a walk....

I contemplated getting a dog for years before I actually did. I didn't like the idea of not being able to just go out for the day without lots of planning etc, but then I realised those days are quite few and far between anyway! It really depends on your current lifestyle.

My pup was everything other posters have described, she bit, chewed and destroyed many things but this was only for a couple of months. I'd say by 6 months she was the perfect dog inside the house, and perhaps by 12 months or so, walks became much more enjoyable as she calmed down and stopped pulling my arm out it's socket every time she saw a passerby or dog. She didn't go through the teenage stage many describe, thankfully!

My boys were almost 7 and 9 when we got her. As I suspected, they don't help with any of the 'boring' things, but they do love her unconditionally and she's been a fantastic addition to our family. She definitely thinks she's one of them and she's everything another sibling would have been for them, without the bickering 😂

She's fine being left alone for a few hours - she just sleeps. Never had any issues at all with separation anxiety, despite her being like velcro when we're in the house. One of the reasons I went for a bigger dog was as my research said they might be less prone to anxiety, obviously this depends on breed, but it worked for us.

If you're keen on a poodle mix, I'd look more at poodles crossed with goldens or labs. Australian labradoodles especially, as there are far more generations of them and there's more of a "breed" standard. They seem to be a lot calmer than cockapoos. It's imperative you do your research though as there are so many puppy farms out there. Hip/elbow scoring for both parents and all other related genetic testing, including eyes. This will narrow your choice massively as most litters advertised won't have this, they'll just say puppies are fully health checked, which isn't the same.

My dog is GR/lab/standard poodle. She's mostly poodle but doesn't really have any poodle traits, so you really never know what you'll end up with, so you must be prepared to put up with the worst of any breeds involved! She also doesn't look like any of her breeds. Mine is lovely though, she has an amazing temperament and is so laid back and chilled and other dog walkers always comment on this. I appreciate I may have been lucky though!

I have a puppy and agree it is a lifestyle change. You have to think about the puppy all the time. Look at what you have done over the past months/year and think about how a puppy or dog would fit into that. My children are a little older but the teething stage can be difficult and scary for younger children and you’ll need to spend a lot of tome helping your daughter learn how to deal with unwanted behaviours. The training is a constant job, but we have found a lot of joy in having our puppy. It is just a big adjustment and we were prepared for the change for 10/15 years.

Good dog walkers and day carers will be booked up well in advance so that may be something to consider too if you’re planning on using those services.

TBH it sounds like your lifestyle would be more suited to a cat than a puppy.

When we took on my dog she was already 7 years old, but even then it's been a complete lifestyle change. She came with separation anxiety and is fortunate that we both partly WFH or she can come into my dog-friendly office with me, albeit by commuting for an hour and half into London (it's a good thing she's a tiny breed). We have to plan everything we do around her as she really objects to being left.

And we don't have children which always add an extra amount of stress - your puppy will not be able to go with you to many of the places your child wants to go, that includes friend's birthday parties, children's playgrounds, extra-curricular activities like sports or social clubs, so many outings will have an extra layer of "what about the dog". And those activities only increase as your child gets older. At least that's what I hear from very very tired friends and colleagues who are parents deeply regretting their children getting really into sports etc.

And to add to the breed choice, so many Poodle crosses end up in rescue with behavioural issues as people got a cute fluffy puppy but forgot about the breed cross's needs. Poodles are highly intelligent, Spaniels can be a bit dim but extremely high energy. Cross the two you get a ball of energy with a brain. Many of those in rescue can't go to a home with kids as they have bite histories or issues with resource guarding.

Think carefully before you dive in the deep end.

My youngest was 10 when we got our puppy - when she needed a walk first thing, or in the rain, I could take her out and leave the kids at home alone safely. It would have been much harder with younger kids - plus, the biting was worse than I expected. We all wore wellies indoors for a while to protect our ankles. Photo is of my hand when pup was 3 months old!

Massive pain in the bottom. We went away for three weeks on holiday and the bill was nearly £600. Luckily our dog loves the kennels but before you book any time away you have to check who is going to look after the dog. Good kennels are booked months and months in advance.

EVERY SINGLE SODDING TIME!!

Our chap can be left for a number of hours. Our neighbour will come in a few times if we are away all day but quite honestly after nearly 30 years of having dogs I think I am done. Ddog is a senior now but that puppy stage is bonkers and then you get the teenage years which go on and on and on?

Thank you all for the responses. Have to say I sort of expected this as every single friend who has a dog says the same. We will put on hold for another year then reassess. Will definitely get when kids are are a bit older or when we retire (latest). May get another pusskins in the meantime.

Goodness, what breed was that? Yes, we definitely need to wait until we have more times in the mornings. At the moment it's getting 3 out of the door, driving one to school, walking the other and getting to work. Plus the dog isn't allowed at 90% of the kids' activities.

We were very keen to get a dog a few years ago until I discovered The Doghouse board on here. It was a game-changer. That and DH experiencing two clients with dogs that really put us off

One was a couple who’d just got a Labrador puppy and they (and DH!) were overwhelmed. The second was a lot sadder - a wealthy couple who’d ’downsized’ for financial reasons from a huge house in the countryside to a large city house. They both WFH and their two DCs were at university. They had a Labrador that looked way older than it was because it was just depressed and ignored most of the time. It really upset my DH.

Think really carefully about this - YOU and not your young son are going to be responsible for this dog and, as PPs have said, it’s a 15-20 year commitment.

Look at a miniature australian labradoodle instead, much calmer and more consistent dogs and a similar size.

Just don’t do it, they are a fucking nightmare. I know from experience!

Do not get a cockapoo. Many cockapoos are part of the illegal dog trade, either as an import or from a puppy farm. They aren’t a recognised breed, so you can’t rely on the breeder being reputable. This means that the puppies aren’t properly cared for and aren’t health checked.

Many cockapoos are mental. This is what happens when you cross a very intelligent dog, the poodle, with a very active dog, a spaniel.

You can have everything you want with an actual poodle. We have a miniature poodle and she’s amazing. Poodles are very healthy dogs, they are super intelligent and easy to train. You don’t have to give them a stupid haircut. I get asked all the time whether she’s a cockapoo or a cavapoo.

She’s an Australian terrier - they are fabulous little dogs but like any terrier they basically exist mainly to kill things, without waiting for any instructions. They do make good family pets but it takes a bit of adjustment, from both dog and humans.

There are so many cockapoos in this village, all actually super friendly and sweet but none of them could be called well trained, I think the teddy bear look means they’re not treated as proper dogs from the beginning.
The one I see most cost £3k, four years ago… for a crossbred puppy!

Someone is even advertising “pure” cockapoo puppies (as both parents were - she claims - purebred cockapoos). And people will buy them. It’s insane.

I grew up with border collies, then had Belgian shepherds competing in obedience, working trials and shown in breed, now I have a brilliant, soft-natured, very trainable Yorkie x JRT, and an elderly working cocker. I am very used to super clever dogs, but cockapoos are… not for me. And I wouldn’t want a £50 bill for clipping every few weeks either.

Someone told me their cockapoo is a pedigree, as both parents are cockapoos. Their “pedigree” wasn’t a very nice dog. It was aggressively guarding its ball.

Everyone giving OP grief for getting a puppy but you try getting ANY rescue dog of any kind/size/breed when you’ve got a child and see what your chances are! I went to our local dog’s trust and they said “I’ll be honest with you, we rarely get a dog that’s known to be ok with kids (they can only mark a dog as ok to be adopted to a family if they know for a fact that the dog is good with kids, which makes sense) and when we do, they usually go to our long waiting list of previous adopters”

They certainly don’t all do this! Our late miniature schnauzer never chewed anything and we had him from 8 weeks! He wasn’t destructive in any way, didn’t moult his fur and was hypoallergenic like all schnauzers. He was an amazing dog. Wonderful temperament.

Thanks all. Well we are stil going back and forth about getting a dog. Looking at a rescue in Spain but not sure we can risk it with our 7 year old (apparently he is very docile but still) and also saw a Labradoodle puppy at the weekend which we are seriously considering. I take on board all the comments here. Just trying to decide if we have the brandwidth.

Honestly, going with either of those options would be incredibly irresponsible. In the nicest way, you need to do a LOT more research before you even consider getting any kind of dog, let alone a puppy.

@winterrabbit in a worst case scenario with a labradoodle, you’ll end up with a neurotic, high-energy (we’re talking 2+ hrs every day of good exercise), highly intelligent dog, that cannot be exercised sufficiently due to poor breeding (ie has dysplasia) and thus turns aggressive and bites your child. Both breeds can be prone to resource guarding, hard bites when teething, and shadow chasing when not stimulated. Labraoodles are also expensive to insure (due to poor breeding), feed, house and take care of.

With a rescue, you risk basically the same except chances are the dog will also be seriously damaged when it arrives (as opposed to you damaging it as a puppy). So you have an even higher chance of your child being bitten.

If you are not sure you ‘have the bandwidth’ then you don’t, in fact, have the bandwidth.

We ARE doing research!? What do you think the point of this post is?

Being a good dog owner is completely life changing. They can have separation anxiety that means they can't be left, they need daily stimulating activity and your life has to revolve around getting back for the dog.

I love having a dog but it's so much easier now I can leave dd at home while I walk her. Winter is a pain as there's so little daylight around working hours. Honestly you need to be ready to be restricted. It's also expensive. It needs to be something the adults in your family really want. Not based on your children's excitement.

You should start by researching dog breeds and settling on one that would suit your lifestyle. Size of dog. Exercise needs. Grooming needs. Breed characteristics. Prey drive.
There are some on line questionnaires that you can fill in and they suggest breeds suitable for your circumstances. That might be a starting point for you.

So far you have mentioned three different ones - cockerpoo, labradoodle and a rescue which is presumably a crossbreed of some sort. It's not a case of any dog will do.

What research have you done that makes you think it's a good idea to either get a random doodle from an unknown source or an overseas rescue that you know absolutely nothing about?