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Please recommend a dog for our family

175 replies

abairliom · 08/04/2024 10:36

Good morning
We have decided to welcome a dog to our family.
I never had a dog at home growing up so I'm not used to dogs but am
Looking forward to our new addition.
I live in a modest three bed semi and there will be someone at home all day at all times for the first six months . We also have a small back garden with a big shed and I will get a solid gate at the side to prevent escape and enjoy safety.

I would prefer a dog that does not shed , enjoys children with a gentle temperament that does not require huge specific training or long long walks every day.

Please respond as if you were talking to an absolute beginner. I appreciate all advice and support as i believe that a dog would be a wonderful and much loved addition to our family, thank you.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Floralnomad · 08/04/2024 10:39

All dogs require huge amounts of training and ongoing training . What happens after the 6 months ? I’m not sure of the relevance of the shed in the garden .

Namerchanger1 · 08/04/2024 10:41

Before you get torn to shreds here, can I ask what’ll happen after the 6 months is up? Will someone be around at all?

my brother has a “low maintenance” dog which is very needy and couldn’t be left alone at all

abairliom · 08/04/2024 10:43

The relevance is that when we are outside in summer the dog has an area if they want to rest, sleep during the day in warm weather but out of direct sun but not inside in the home on their own.

I did not realise that all dogs required huge amounts of training and ongoing training ? I believe that some did but not all.

After six months the dog will be alone for three hours per day but I have a dog walker neighbour who would bring the dog out for air and exercise .

Thanks for prompt response .

OP posts:
ZipZapZoom · 08/04/2024 10:44

I would prefer a dog that does not shed , enjoys children with a gentle temperament that does not require huge specific training or long long walks every day.

Please don't get a dog. You have no experience, you've done no research, you sound clueless and your list of preferences shows you haven't given this any more thought than oh wouldn't it be nice to have a cute puppy.

idontlikealdi · 08/04/2024 10:46

You sound totally unprepared to have a dog. Please do some research.

abairliom · 08/04/2024 10:48

I wasn't expecting such prickly and defensive responses and while I am beginning to research and talk to dog owners/ rescues about bringing a dog into our family, I see that I am very much not welcome here so I'll bow out and wish you well.

Thanks.

OP posts:
InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 08/04/2024 10:49

I have a large breed dog and a small breed dog, both required (and its ongoing) probably hundreds of hours of training over the course of months and months. If you don't train then you get a misbehaved dog.

I think you're probably looking for a cat

Daffodilsarentfluffy · 08/04/2024 10:51

We have 2 Lurchers.. Very underestimated family ddogs.. We also have 2 dcats. Prey drive never been an issue.. And 1 was a previously working ddog.(not during our ownership!) low moult. The easiest to train but there again we have a husky. DO NOT RECOMMEND... They love a zoom(off lead perfect) , or a long walk. Or a lazy day.
They love a jumper or a coat and blankets a necessity..
And they love sunbathing. No negatives ime.
And they fold up small.

Pic for added promotion purposes.

Please recommend a dog for our family
Mixedvegetables · 08/04/2024 10:53

Agree, get a cat, you're looking for a lifestyle addition to your life .

Honestly I'm sick to death of people getting dogs as some sort of tick box exercise to go with their home decor. These are sentient beings that can live for 15-18 years. I wish to God people had to pass a high bar test before they were allowed to 'get a dog' ....

bingoringo4 · 08/04/2024 10:56

Yorkshire terrier. Non shedding, great with kids and don't require big walks.

ZipZapZoom · 08/04/2024 10:56

abairliom · 08/04/2024 10:48

I wasn't expecting such prickly and defensive responses and while I am beginning to research and talk to dog owners/ rescues about bringing a dog into our family, I see that I am very much not welcome here so I'll bow out and wish you well.

Thanks.

Not prickly or defensive just realistic. If you don't want to commit to walking a dog and training it for it's entire life then logically the answer is don't get a dog.

Newuser75 · 08/04/2024 10:57

Goodness, honestly ignore these replies!

So most dogs shed, there are ones such as the labradoodle, poodle etc that are low/non shedding but some definitely shed more than others. Labradors for example shed loads!! Unless you want a permanently black floor then maybe they aren't the dog for you.

Some dogs are definitely better with kids. Border terriers, cavaliers (come with health issues), springer spaniels.

Some dogs do require more training/mental stimulation although obviously all dogs need to be trained. Border collies for instance and other working breeds may not suit you due to their higher exercise/mental stimulation needs.

For a first time dog owner I'd always recommend a cavalier but as I said they do have health issues so that would be something to look into. Border terriers are also excellent but they need a lot of exercise as were bred as working dogs. Whippets and greyhounds are gorgeous, pretty low maintenance and friendly but do have a high prey drive.

Good luck, very exciting!

Floralnomad · 08/04/2024 10:57

bingoringo4 · 08/04/2024 10:56

Yorkshire terrier. Non shedding, great with kids and don't require big walks.

But still need training

Newuser75 · 08/04/2024 10:57

Daffodilsarentfluffy · 08/04/2024 10:51

We have 2 Lurchers.. Very underestimated family ddogs.. We also have 2 dcats. Prey drive never been an issue.. And 1 was a previously working ddog.(not during our ownership!) low moult. The easiest to train but there again we have a husky. DO NOT RECOMMEND... They love a zoom(off lead perfect) , or a long walk. Or a lazy day.
They love a jumper or a coat and blankets a necessity..
And they love sunbathing. No negatives ime.
And they fold up small.

Pic for added promotion purposes.

Ah how lovely, I didn't think of lurchers! They are lovely dogs aren't they?

abairliom · 08/04/2024 11:00

Please do not put words into my
Mouth.

I did not say that I did not want to commit to walking a dog and I did not say that I was not willing to train a dog for its entire life .
The truth is I've never heard that a dog had to be trained it's entire life .
This is new to me.

I came looking for support and advice about what I consider to be a serious commitment so I want to be as knowledgable , prepared and educated as I can be before we begin to begin to search for our dog.

OP posts:
Dearg · 08/04/2024 11:02

I have 2 Labradors. Spent about 2 years with each going to training classes . They knew the basics very quickly, but enjoyed the socialisation and mental stimulation of training.

1 can leave them at home for 2-3 hours. 4 absolute max , and as the older one advances into very elderly, he is not crazy about not having me around at all.. I could not kennel them outside .

They are lovely, calm, playful dogs. Great with kids but big and a bit clumsy. They need decent amounts of exercise , grooming , and can rack up scary vets bills.

I would not recommend any dog with pre-school children.

By the way, mine are not big shedders ( black) , but I put some effort into maintaining their coats

bunnygeek · 08/04/2024 11:09

All dogs need ongoing training, for some that may be constant intensive training, for others it will just be gentle basic bolstering of commands they already know, but laying that ground work is hard work and can be easy to mess up if you try it on your own, so you will need to find good local positive and reward-based training (aversive training is everywhere too and is a whole other minefield). What a dog needs is very individual and not necessarily breed based.

If you have children in the home, how old are they and have they been "trained" around dogs? Unfortunately a lot of young dogs get signed over to rescue because naïve owners with young children can't cope with puppy behaviour, such as jumping up, stealing items and mouthing which is very normal for dogs and needs careful training over several months for them to learn not to do. It takes consistency in that training from every member of the family for the dog to learn what they should and shouldn't be doing.

I recommend watching some videos on dog training, Dogs Trust have some "puppy diary" videos here which is a good start: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZRJXOalxe2m83AlLlm_nZMvTPNmEXM98

Also have a read of any threads on here that mention the "puppy blues" as that is very much reality!

Before you continue to YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZRJXOalxe2m83AlLlm_nZMvTPNmEXM98

bingoringo4 · 08/04/2024 11:10

@Floralnomad well duh! All dogs need training 🙄

MaMisled · 08/04/2024 11:18

For goodness sake! If no one ever got their first dog, there would be no dogs! OP is obviously curious, excited and trying to learn how to get this right for her family. If you've got nothing nice to say, go look at another thread.

BrokenWing · 08/04/2024 11:19

Dogs and a life with dogs is fantastic!

You need to go into it completely aware of the commitment you will be making for the next 10-15 years and this the right place to ask because posters will try to put you off getting a dog and if you come out the other end committed, determined and still keen then you might just be a doggie person! You should approach this thinking about what you can give a dog rather than what a dog can give you.

Lets start with the commitment -

Dogs need exercise for physical and mental stimulation or they are going to get bored, depressed and possibly destructive. That means a good walk in the morning, afternoon and evening come rain, hail, snow, dark nights for 10-15 years - at least one of those daily walks should be > 1hr and preferably off lead. In summer it is tough because they cannot go out when it is too hot as they easily overheat and concrete gets too hot to walk on. So summer walks tend to be very early morning and late at night when it is cooler, or if you are lucky to be near a dense wood, that is a good place to walk as cooler/out the sun. They will come home from winter (and autumn and spring) walks wet and caked in mud (if it is a decent walk for them!). Your small garden will not be enough for exercise or mental stimulation or a alternative to walks in all weathers, the garden you previously enjoyed will become your dogs toilet - if you have grass it is likely to be ruined.

Dogs also need mental stimulation. The generally means training. Training is continuous throughout the dogs life, more intense in the first 6 - 18 months through the puppy and stubborn teenage phases. You will need to teach strong recall so you can let you dog off lead to exercise, this training of recall never stops and can be easily lost and difficult to recover if you become complacent.

Dogs are expensive. Insurance will start cheap. By the time our dog was 10 years old it was £100/month. But imo needed, a consultation with the vets can be £60-£80, an overnight stay for something minor like vomiting can be £400-£500+. Emergency vets in evenings and weekend hundreds of pounds. Prescriptions are expensive. Monthly flea and worming is expensive too £20/month+. Decent food will set you back £40-£50+ a month. Add in walkers and if you are going for a dog that doesn't cast regular grooming costs.

Dogs are very restrictive. You can no longer go to weddings, funerals, holidays, days out without always considering the dog first. You also need to spend as much time training your children how to behave around a dog as you do the dog - young children should never be left with the dog unsupervised - so if you are all relaxing in the garden and you want to pop indoors you get into the habit of taking either the dog or the child with you.

Dogs don't always behave the way you want/expect. You could have issues - some very common ones are house training, excessive barking, resource guarding, separation anxiety, health issues. You cannot guarantee a dog that "enjoys children with a gentle temperament" - that is partly nature partly nurture - our very placid Labrador wasn't great with ds(9 at the time) when we first got him. All can be very time consuming or expensive to try to improve (some can never be fixed only managed).

After all that......still love dogs. We lost ours to cancer last year and I am now desperate for another, but I know even though we have the experience of dog ownership we don't currently have the lifestyle for the intense puppy first couple of years or settling in a rescue dog. Will need to wait until I retire in 5-6 years time.

Keep researching, and just make sure you 100% know what you are letting yourself in for as many people don't do their homework and regret it.

HanaJane · 08/04/2024 11:19

I think people are being very negative actually! Everyone was a first time dog owner once so having no experience is not a reason not to get a dog, and you're at least doing your research before committing!
But saying that while some dogs are easier to train than others they do all still need training, and I would recommend going to puppy training classes especially as you're a new dog owner.
They will also all need at least one walk a day, but leaving alone for 3 hours after 6 months sounds fine.
Does it have to be a puppy? You could consider a young rescue dog as the shelter will have already started training them and will have a good idea of their temperament?
Labradors are an easy to train dog and not too bad with shedding and grooming, will be a bundle of energy at first but they do calm down.
Or a staffie? My PIL have a staffie x he is very friendly and good with kids, short hair. Strong though, will need lead training.
We had a border terrier when I was a child, lovely little dog! She never moulted so did need regular trips to the groomers.
We have a border collie, he is a good boy and fits in with us but does need a good walk every day, and they are easy to train but also have their weird little quirks so probably not for you!

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 08/04/2024 11:19

abairliom · 08/04/2024 11:00

Please do not put words into my
Mouth.

I did not say that I did not want to commit to walking a dog and I did not say that I was not willing to train a dog for its entire life .
The truth is I've never heard that a dog had to be trained it's entire life .
This is new to me.

I came looking for support and advice about what I consider to be a serious commitment so I want to be as knowledgable , prepared and educated as I can be before we begin to begin to search for our dog.

I'm going to presume that you won't want a large breed, so I'll talk you through my terrier.

Dog training and socialisation classes, that was 2 hours per week for 8 weeks.

Toilet training is like having a toddler, every 20/30 minutes, go outside, you also need to be getting up in the night. My terrier took a lot longer than my large breed actually, but she was reliable by around 6 months.

Training - probably 3/4 hours per day all in all, it's constant, if you don't want a yappy dog, or one who jumps up, or shreds stuff you need to put in the hours.

Walking, when she was super small we did frequent smaller walks, so maybe 4 or 5 x 20 minute walks a day, now she's a bit older I do 2 x 30 mins and 1x hour walk per day. She still trains for maybe 1-2 hours per day (still under a year).

The puppy stage is really relentless, and with both my dogs I would say I started reaping the rewards of all the hard work at the 10 month stage.

What you get out of a dog totally depends on what you put into the dog ime.

MrsGalloway · 08/04/2024 11:23

We were first time dog owners when we got ours 4 years ago. My thoughts would be:-

  1. Do research breeds and check and double check breeder is reputable. We did do all of this and our dog is lovely and healthy but he is not typical for his breed, he’s nervous and fear reactive. He’s never got used to small children so can’t be around them and he’s not happy lying under a pub table whilst we have a pint. Despite all the research in the world you might not get a dog with the temperament you expect and then you have to put a lot of effort into training and adapt your expectations.
  2. They are more expensive than you think, ours has to have a quite expensive food otherwise he has issues at the other end, vets bills training, insurance and dog walkers also mount up.
  3. I agree I wouldn’t get a dog with pre school children, I would have found it too hard. Our youngest was last year of primary and even then needed quite a lot of supervision in terms of what to do and what not to do with the dog.
  4. Our Dog is rarely left, it really helps we have teenagers who don’t want or need to come out with us so there is usually someone at home and one of us wfh 90% of time but it takes quite a lot of planning and I pay for a regular dog walker so I have a fall back just in case.
  5. Holidays, our dog couldn’t go into kennels (and I don’t know many who could without becoming distressed). This means that if we want a non dog friendly holiday we have to coordinate with my in laws who are the only people who are able to have him. As they get older this might become a problem.
  6. Walking the dog can feel like a real chore at times especially when it’s cold dark and rainy and you’ve had a long day. When it’s hot you have to factor in early morning or late evening walks.

We love him and don’t regret getting him but he’s a huge amount of work, it fundamentally changes the way you live and I’m pretty certain that I wouldn’t have another one.

YourWinter · 08/04/2024 11:25

For everyone’s sake don’t get a Labrador, spaniel, any of the poodle designer crosses, collie or collie cross. Any dog will find it incredibly hard if you suddenly start leaving it for a chunk of the day just as it gets used to you being around. A puppy is still a child at six months. Just don’t.

Possibly a border terrier would suit your setup, but I really don’t think you are cut out for dog ownership.

HanaJane · 08/04/2024 11:26

Also you don't say how old your children are but I wouldn't get a puppy with children under 5, a puppy is A LOT of work, like having a toddler again.
The children will need to be old enough to be involved in training the dog and know how to behave around the dog - not treat it like a toy.
My youngest was 6 when we got ours and she was good on the whole, now she is 9 and is brilliant with him.
You will need stair gates to keep the puppy in one area until it's house trained and stopped chewing everything, also a crate is pretty much essential with kids in the house too