Please recommend a dog for our family

[abairliom]

Good morning
We have decided to welcome a dog to our family.
I never had a dog at home growing up so I'm not used to dogs but am
Looking forward to our new addition.
I live in a modest three bed semi and there will be someone at home all day at all times for the first six months . We also have a small back garden with a big shed and I will get a solid gate at the side to prevent escape and enjoy safety.

I would prefer a dog that does not shed , enjoys children with a gentle temperament that does not require huge specific training or long long walks every day.

Please respond as if you were talking to an absolute beginner. I appreciate all advice and support as i believe that a dog would be a wonderful and much loved addition to our family, thank you.

Did you seriously just criticise the OP for specifying that she will have a secure garden? Would you prefer an insecure one?

Honestly, it’s no wonder there are so many shit dog owners out there, when people get this response for asking questions. You lot turn people right off asking for help.

Sorry, don’t know why my posts are in triplicate!

MN tends to have some weird extremes, you get people on here who claim that their Shitzhu is a grade 8 agility dog, who needs 28 hours walking a day, took 72 years to toilet train, and if left for longer than 14 seconds will burn the house down and start a far right extremist group.

Then you get people who say their working line malinois gets ten minutes round the block first thing and then is left for 17 hours a day and is fine.

The reality of dog owning is somewhere in the middle.

I did read from the OPs post that she did want a low input pet, of which virtually no dog is, so while some posts on here are extreme it’s really important that they do realise their expectations may be unrealistic

Honestly, it's no wonder people get put off posting on here when you read threads like this.

OP hasn't said she's going to go out and get a dog tomorrow - she's said she has no experience and no idea, and wants to learn about the realities. In other words, she's doing her research and people are still determined to come on and bash her. I also don't know why people seem so keen to fill threads like this with tales of how awful and stressful dog ownership is

Personally, I would look at breeds like miniature poodles, miniature schnauzers, bichons, cairn terriers and Lhasa Apsos. They're all generally pretty healthy, they don't shed (or if they do, it's very easily manageable) and none of them need hours and hours of exercise or training.

They do all need regular trips to the groomers but as long as you budget for it, it shouldn't be an issue. You may even find you're happy to do it yourself long-term (though I'm definitely not brave enough for that myself )

We got our first dog six years ago and went right in the deep end with a beagle. If I'd taken all the responses on here seriously, I'd never have done it, but it was genuinely the best thing we've ever done. He's a fantastic little dog and has really made our lives so much better.

We got a dog 3 years ago - puppy. Australian labradoodle. She's amazing. We love her. The first 2 years she was very lively, calmed down a lot in the last year. Still bouncy though. Training happens, in one form or another, continually.

We only went for a puppy due to the ages of our DC - youngest was 6.

In your position, I would go to a few rescues and start to have chats with them. They're very good at matching dogs to families.

As a child, our family had a couple of rescues, and once they trust you, the bond they have with you is very, very special. Be prepared though, it will take time.

Have you thought about a retired greyhound? V short hair, minimal shedding, not into long walks (they do enjoy a short run). Lots of them needing homes, but please do your research on the breed and dogs in general and ensure any DCs are trained in how to interact with dogs. As others have said, training is an ongoing commitment and requires consistency.

We have a Lhasa Apso poodle cross as first time dog owners. A dog is much more like a toddler than a cat - we’ve previously always had cats - cats are much more able to take care of themselves! We do love him though. Obviously you have to walk every day but Lhasa Apso’s don’t need to be walked miles. Training is a commitment - we did puppy classes and then it was just regular keeping it up every walk to practice recall - Lhasa Apso’s are wonderful, easy going family dogs but consider themselves people rather than dogs so you need to work at obedience. He can be left at home and will just sleep, but not for hours - 2 hours max really. He goes to doggy daycare once a week when we are all out for a full day. No reactivity or guarding issues, very easy going generally around other dogs and young children. Slow to toilet train, needed lots of repetition. Barks sometimes but stops when hushed. Always wants to be near someone when at home but happy enough to snooze when we are working from home. We crate trained and he takes himself off there when we are working from home and has second long nap!

I realised the other day, as I tried to let one animal into the kitchen and the other out, that the cat has learnt 'sit' and 'wait' too!

It wasn't helpful (I was asking the puppy to sit while the cat came in past her) but it was rather sweet.

Going back to the actual question in the OP, I'd look at a Bichon Frise or (if you can find one) Havanese. Maltese are a bit tiny and fragile for my liking.

I apologize, I was unduly aggressive on page one. Of course people need to learn, I'm sorry.

I agreed to a short haired small dog, then went off to visit my dad. Came home and golden retriever puppy had been purchased! Though it took me a while I loved him as a family member and both DSs loved him especially through the difficult teenage years. Insurance is a must.

We have a miniature Australian labradoodle, and he's wonderful. I'd highly recommend. The first breeder we spoke to said join the FB group for all the breeds that interest you and see what people complain about, if it would be a show stopper for you leave it and see what's left at the end (if any).

Maybe an older rescue dog that has already had some basic training and has calmed down a bit from puppyhood.

Wtf is a west highland cavadoodle when it’s at home?! 😂

(I get what it is, but WHYYYYYYY!!). Who the hell decided to make that?!

not necessarily getting at you, unless you deliberately created it but what fucking idiot did that 😬😬😬😬😬😬

I’d avoid a poodle cross at all costs.

maybe (and it’s a big maybe) think about something like a bichon or shih tzu or Lhasa apso.

Dogs aren't children though- and I think the bloke has a good point.

A friend has 9 dogs and even though they have different nuances in temperament, there isn't one of them I dislike, as they are all well trained.

Then there was a woman we lived near for a few years, and every dog she had was an aggressive ,barky nightmare. One {a Golden Retriever} savaged a postwoman's hand so badly the postwoman needed surgery.

I believe this woman sent her dogs literally mad.

You'd hear them coming down the street, them barking and her shouting.

Some people always have nice, well behaved dogs, and others frenetic ''reactive'' ones.

Dogs do take after their owners quite a bit.

Nature and nurture.

Haha...

I'm a puppy raiser. The ones who are well trained with lovely temperaments usually go on to be guide dogs, and these days there's a buddy dog scheme for visually impaired children which takes up a lot of the ones who are still lovely but not up for guiding.

Any that are up for rehoming generally either have behavioural or ongoing health issues.

Some people MN are absolutely ridiculous about dogs. In essence, if you didn't grow up around dogs and have a thorough understanding of their needs, you're not allowed to even consider having one. How dare you ask for advice??!!! If you have to ask questions about having a dog, you clearly do not deserve to have one in your life.

Dog ownership is an exclusive club only available to those who have inherited membership. New applicants are not welcome.

It must be a mix.

A friend has just got her first dog, the meekest of the litter, who is a shy, obedient little dream. Our old dog was rather like that, and our current pup is a fearless, bonkers, ball of activity.

An much more experienced dog-breeding friend (gundogs and assistance dogs) said of her previous litter, 'We meant to keep the best one for breeding, but we've kept the naughtiest one instead. I could see she would just be returned to us otherwise.'

Here's one, does not shed, enjoys children pushing it about, has a gentle temperament, requires no specific training and does not need long walks every day (occasional oiling may be necessary). 😉😂

That's not true at all.

People are giving advice based off experience - there are so many breeds that people think make a good family pet and are 'perfect' for their family, that actually they have no business owning. Some idiot on another thread once recommended a border collie for a first time dog owner (absolute muppet).

OP has admitted she never had a dog growing up. She didn't initially say what age her children were etc. Therefore people have made recommendations based on some (incomplete - not necessarily OPs fault as she didn't know what information to provide) information. She also said she didn't want a dog that needed long walks, or shedding or lots of training - something many many dogs need. Even the most pointless of dogs needs stimulation - otherwise you get significant behavioural issues. In other words - OP is a complete novice (which is not necessarily a bad thing). She has had advice that reflected that.

Some PPs have also made valid points about not leaving a dog in the garden alone. As someone who has not had a dog before, OP does not necessarily know that leaving a dog in the garden alone for hours on-end (particularly a young one) is a recipe for disaster. Other than likely destruction of the garden, you have serious issues such as the dog potentially digesting something toxic, being stolen (an increasing issue) etc.

People are also (wisely) urging caution. A dog is a 10-15 year commitment and, as a first time dog owner, OP needs to know the risks/commitment she is taking on alongside the significant costs.

There is a LOT of naivety on this board from owners who think dog ownership is as easy as ABC - and it's really not.

OP may not be as naive as some, but recently we've seen a woman who's scared of dogs considering getting a chihuahua (ffs one of the most aggressive breeds if not properly trained) and ignoring the fact that it will need walking in places where other dogs will be. We've seen people who have got a dog who then can't cope with toilet training and mouthing and are looking to rehome (a puppy that was 5 months old - where mouthing is like the ONLY thing the pointless little cretins do). We also saw a woman who didn't want to get insurance for her dog as she couldn't afford it (what the literal hell was she doing).

So, posters on the Doghouse are rightly concerned that people understand the significant impact/cost/commitment a dog has lest we end up with more total idiots getting dogs that should never have got one.

Some of the posts may have come across as more prickly that necessary - but that is the issue with typing as a form of communication rather than face to face conversations.

All posters on this forum want is to ensure that the right people get dogs and go into the process with their eyes wide open. Too many dogs are bought for the wrong reasons ('low shedding' or 'good with kids') and have a bloody crap life because of it.

I'd echo the recommendation for a greyhound. We are on our second and both have been pretty chilled dogs, house trained from day 1. Not all are, though. If OP does go down that route, definitely rehome from specialist greyhound rehoming kennels rather than Dogs Trust or whoever. The knowledge of the breed and the history and temperament of the hound in question should be hugely superior.

Yeah, no you're wrong about that @Devilshands, it is true. I didn't say all posters were ridiculous about this matter. I said some are. And that's just a fact. Look at @ZipZapZoom's helpful comment:

"Please don't get a dog. You have no experience, you've done no research, you sound clueless and your list of preferences shows you haven't given this any more thought than oh wouldn't it be nice to have a cute puppy."

That's not helpful, it's just rude and patronising. No one has the right to gatekeep dog ownership. Unless there are genuine grounds for concern about cruelty and abuse.

I refer also to @Mixedvegetables' post:

"Agree, get a cat, you're looking for a lifestyle addition to your life .

Honestly I'm sick to death of people getting dogs as some sort of tick box exercise to go with their home decor. These are sentient beings that can live for 15-18 years. I wish to God people had to pass a high bar test before they were allowed to 'get a dog' ...."

I apologized a couple of pages later in my defence. I probably was unnecessarily rude but it's such a massive problem in this country now.