Page 5 | Please recommend a dog for our family

abairliom · 2024-04-08T09:36:53+00:00

Good morning We have decided to welcome a dog to our family. I never had a dog at home growing up so I'm not used to dogs but am Looking forward to our new addition. I live in a modest three bed semi and there will be someone at home all day at all times for the first six months . We also have a small back garden with a big shed and I will get a solid gate at the side to prevent escape and enjoy safety. I would prefer a dog that does not shed , enjoys children with a gentle temperament that does not require huge specific training or long long walks every day. Please respond as if you were talking to an absolute beginner. I appreciate all advice and support as i believe that a dog would be a wonderful and much loved addition to our family, thank you.

Mixedvegetables · 09/04/2024 12:03

Devilshands · 09/04/2024 10:47

That's not true at all.

People are giving advice based off experience - there are so many breeds that people think make a good family pet and are 'perfect' for their family, that actually they have no business owning. Some idiot on another thread once recommended a border collie for a first time dog owner (absolute muppet).

OP has admitted she never had a dog growing up. She didn't initially say what age her children were etc. Therefore people have made recommendations based on some (incomplete - not necessarily OPs fault as she didn't know what information to provide) information. She also said she didn't want a dog that needed long walks, or shedding or lots of training - something many many dogs need. Even the most pointless of dogs needs stimulation - otherwise you get significant behavioural issues. In other words - OP is a complete novice (which is not necessarily a bad thing). She has had advice that reflected that.

Some PPs have also made valid points about not leaving a dog in the garden alone. As someone who has not had a dog before, OP does not necessarily know that leaving a dog in the garden alone for hours on-end (particularly a young one) is a recipe for disaster. Other than likely destruction of the garden, you have serious issues such as the dog potentially digesting something toxic, being stolen (an increasing issue) etc.

People are also (wisely) urging caution. A dog is a 10-15 year commitment and, as a first time dog owner, OP needs to know the risks/commitment she is taking on alongside the significant costs.

There is a LOT of naivety on this board from owners who think dog ownership is as easy as ABC - and it's really not.

OP may not be as naive as some, but recently we've seen a woman who's scared of dogs considering getting a chihuahua (ffs one of the most aggressive breeds if not properly trained) and ignoring the fact that it will need walking in places where other dogs will be. We've seen people who have got a dog who then can't cope with toilet training and mouthing and are looking to rehome (a puppy that was 5 months old - where mouthing is like the ONLY thing the pointless little cretins do). We also saw a woman who didn't want to get insurance for her dog as she couldn't afford it (what the literal hell was she doing).

So, posters on the Doghouse are rightly concerned that people understand the significant impact/cost/commitment a dog has lest we end up with more total idiots getting dogs that should never have got one.

Some of the posts may have come across as more prickly that necessary - but that is the issue with typing as a form of communication rather than face to face conversations.

All posters on this forum want is to ensure that the right people get dogs and go into the process with their eyes wide open. Too many dogs are bought for the wrong reasons ('low shedding' or 'good with kids') and have a bloody crap life because of it.

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Totally agree 👍

BrokenWing · 09/04/2024 12:16

ludocris · 09/04/2024 11:55

Yeah, no you're wrong about that @Devilshands, it is true. I didn't say all posters were ridiculous about this matter. I said some are. And that's just a fact. Look at @ZipZapZoom's helpful comment:

"Please don't get a dog. You have no experience, you've done no research, you sound clueless and your list of preferences shows you haven't given this any more thought than oh wouldn't it be nice to have a cute puppy."

That's not helpful, it's just rude and patronising. No one has the right to gatekeep dog ownership. Unless there are genuine grounds for concern about cruelty and abuse.

No one has the right to gatekeep other posters responses either.

Give the OP the credit that she is aware of how social media and the internet works and is perfectly capable of filtering posts herself.

Post your own dog experience / advice / opinion and let other posters post theirs. Some you might not agree with, some are on the extreme side but perhaps coming from a place of concern, but absolutely no one appreciates the post policing. It is tiresome.

EdithStourton · 09/04/2024 12:29

GuppytheCat · 09/04/2024 09:25

It must be a mix.

A friend has just got her first dog, the meekest of the litter, who is a shy, obedient little dream. Our old dog was rather like that, and our current pup is a fearless, bonkers, ball of activity.

An much more experienced dog-breeding friend (gundogs and assistance dogs) said of her previous litter, 'We meant to keep the best one for breeding, but we've kept the naughtiest one instead. I could see she would just be returned to us otherwise.'

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It's 100% a mix.
Our younger dog (Puppy No. 4, so we're not inexperienced - and we both grew up with dogs) has mean much harder work than our current older dog (same breed, also working lines).

A friend of mine, very experienced, bred a litter and kept one to work. One of the ones he sold as an active pet was returned for behavioural issues aged about 18 months and he kept her. Guess which one is turning out to be the better working dog?

And yeah, some posters on this thread have been needlessly harsh on OP. There are so many pleasant and (importantly) constructive ways of offering advice and asking leading questions which are a lot more productive than the 'HA! You moron! Get a goldfish! Actually no, you only deserve a TOY goldfish!' style of some of the posts.

ludocris · 09/04/2024 12:36

@BrokenWing if I was trying to police other peoples comments I'd be reporting them/trying to get them deleted. I'm just pointing out to the OP that some people are condescending arseholes about this topic on MN.

oakleaffy · 09/04/2024 13:51

The ''Designer dogs'' is also a sign of the times.

They are just 'mongrels' or crossbreeds with a fancy price tag.

'Australian Labradoodle'.. a thoroughly mixed mongrel with a spicy price.

A friend looks after one, the dog is really lovely, easy to be around, great with other dogs, and has been well trained, but looks no different to a bog standard ''Labradoodle''...in fact, I thought she was a medium purebred Poodle at first.

The key to a happy relationship with a dog is to get the right one for the situation

Many years ago there was a doughty Whippet person, Lady X -Very no nonsense.

She said of an friend of hers who was then in her Eighties ...She wants a Whippet puppy, but I think an older Eye-talian Greyhound would be better, don't you think?

Certainly for someone in their Eighties, taking on a Whippet puppy that could hopefully live to double figures might not be such a good idea.

Eye-Talian Greyhounds are adorable, like outsized mice, and would need far less exercise than a Whippet, but they are notoriously hard to house train.

I don't know if the 80 yr old ever got her Eye-talian Greyhound, but was at a show the other week, just watching , and there ARE exhibitors in their 80's with veteran aged dogs who are kept fit by their hounds.

abracadabra1980 · 09/04/2024 18:40

Mixedvegetables · 08/04/2024 10:53

Agree, get a cat, you're looking for a lifestyle addition to your life .

Honestly I'm sick to death of people getting dogs as some sort of tick box exercise to go with their home decor. These are sentient beings that can live for 15-18 years. I wish to God people had to pass a high bar test before they were allowed to 'get a dog' ....

Agree wholeheartedly.

Koptforitagain · 09/04/2024 18:50

Miniature Poodle. They are amazing dogs.

ARM23 · 09/04/2024 19:23

Some of the responses on here are extremely negative…having a family dog is wonderful and all dog owners have to start somewhere.

I have a cavapoo and he is 6 months old. We lost our 1st dog in October, a Jack Russell terrier (15yrs) he was perfect for me at that time. I wouldn’t not recommend a JRT for you, they shed and people underestimate the amount of exercise they need because they are small.

My Cavapoo doesn’t shed, he is very clever and needs less exercise, altho i still take him out twice a day. They are great family pets. He loves people, children and other dogs and has been extremely easy to train (although they do regress in the adolescent period) but fingers cross we have a good foundation.

roseheartfly · 09/04/2024 20:20

How exciting for you.

My advice is steer clear of excitable gun dogs such as springers/spaniels in general (though they are unbelievable) and chose something a little easier.

Cross breeds help with health issues and shedding such as cavapoo.

Do your research on the breeder, get insurance and training.

But mostly. Rescue.

Koptforitagain · 09/04/2024 22:32

Don’t get a cross. You have no idea what you will end up with.

justaboutdonenow · 15/04/2024 14:30

All those on this thread who get snippy because actual dog people, people who work with, have a lot of experience of & live their lives around their dogs, have commented about the commitment level of having them are the reason there are so, so many dogs in rescue.

OP I would advise listening to those who have actually given the negatives in detail as well as the positives, because dogs deserve more than just being a 'nice idea' to complete a family.

Those whose sole experience with dogs is owning a single cockapoo who is still young, healthy & been an easy & all round 'good dog' who has slotted into their family without issues, really don't have enough experience to wax lyrical about how great dog ownership is.

justaboutdonenow · 15/04/2024 14:37

roseheartfly · 09/04/2024 20:20

How exciting for you.

My advice is steer clear of excitable gun dogs such as springers/spaniels in general (though they are unbelievable) and chose something a little easier.

Cross breeds help with health issues and shedding such as cavapoo.

Do your research on the breeder, get insurance and training.

But mostly. Rescue.

It's not a simple as 'crossbreeds help with health issues', especially when one of the parent breeds is rife with nasty & serious health issues like cavaliers are.

Dogs of any type are only as healthy & temperamentally sound as their parents' genetics dictate & the vast majority of people breeding crossbreeds, especially poodle mixes, are only in it for the money so the quality of their breeding dogs will be whatever is the most convenient set of working canine genitals to hand.

Janedoe82 · 15/04/2024 14:43

I have a Poochon- super little family dog. Would highly recommend.

Melsy88 · 15/04/2024 15:12

Ignore all of the negatives - having a dog is fantastic, and it sounds like you are doing the right thing by researching a lot in the first instance.
I have a lhasa aspo/Shihtzu cross. She is lovely and was easy as a first time dog owner! Doesn't shed at all, doesn't require hours and hours of exercise and gets along well with gentle children.
Don't get me wrong - all dogs are hard work - she needs at least an hour of walking plus play in the garden, whatever the weather, can't be left more than about 3-4 hours and obviously needed training.
But so much joy from having her!

fieldsofbutterflies · 15/04/2024 15:21

justaboutdonenow · 15/04/2024 14:30

All those on this thread who get snippy because actual dog people, people who work with, have a lot of experience of & live their lives around their dogs, have commented about the commitment level of having them are the reason there are so, so many dogs in rescue.

OP I would advise listening to those who have actually given the negatives in detail as well as the positives, because dogs deserve more than just being a 'nice idea' to complete a family.

Those whose sole experience with dogs is owning a single cockapoo who is still young, healthy & been an easy & all round 'good dog' who has slotted into their family without issues, really don't have enough experience to wax lyrical about how great dog ownership is.

Everyone has to start somewhere.

TBH I'm sick of posters on this forum acting like dog ownership is some massive challenge that requires years of deliberation, followed by several more years waiting for the perfect breeder with the perfect litter at the perfect time of year - it's really tiresome and not something I ever see in real life.

Yes, it has its' difficulties, and yes, some dogs are easier than others but the vast majority of people just get a dog they like the sound of and manage just fine.

justaboutdonenow · 15/04/2024 15:31

but the vast majority of people just get a dog they like the sound of and manage just fine.

I would love to have such a rose tinted view of things, but years of being involved in rescue must have jaded me more than I thought.

You do you though, I'll just continue to care about the dogs over peoples' wants & feelings.

ludocris · 15/04/2024 15:35

Hear hear @fieldsofbutterflies. People in this sub-forum on MN act like you need to put more thought into having a dog than you do having a baby.

FayCarew · 15/04/2024 15:37

the vast majority of people just get a dog they like the sound of and manage just fine.
I thought they got a dog they liked the look of and when they realised that their cute little puppy pissed, shat, chewed and barked they dumped it.

Kelvinator1 · 15/04/2024 15:37

At least the OP is here doing her research and planning, rather than getting a puppy and then freaking out!! Good luck OP, dogs are the best but yes, they can be hard work and my puppy brought me to tears on more than one occasion!! I also spent an hour this morning in a cold muddy park in the howling wind and pissing rain, because thats just what you do!

Watch some dog training videos on You Yube, people like Zak George I found really helped when we had our puppy and gets you in the mindset of what is required before you take the leap

fieldsofbutterflies · 15/04/2024 15:39

justaboutdonenow · 15/04/2024 15:31

but the vast majority of people just get a dog they like the sound of and manage just fine.

I would love to have such a rose tinted view of things, but years of being involved in rescue must have jaded me more than I thought.

You do you though, I'll just continue to care about the dogs over peoples' wants & feelings.

People can care about dogs and have a different opinion to you - there's no need to be insulting.

Personally, I think working in rescue can cause you to become jaded because you only see the dogs who are given up on and who have issues - you don't see the millions of dogs who live long and happy lives with their families because those dogs never go anywhere near a rescue centre.

I work with dogs as well and I see hundreds of families whose lives are enriched massively because they've chosen to own a dog. Their dogs improve their fitness, their mental health and bring them closer together. My own MH and social live have both improved massively since owning a dog.

fieldsofbutterflies · 15/04/2024 15:41

FayCarew · 15/04/2024 15:37

the vast majority of people just get a dog they like the sound of and manage just fine.
I thought they got a dog they liked the look of and when they realised that their cute little puppy pissed, shat, chewed and barked they dumped it.

I'm sure some people do - but in my experience it's absolutely not the "vast majority" - not by a long shot.

As a PP said, it's weird that dog ownership seems to need years of preparation, but when people ask about having a baby, they're told "oh, there's no perfect time to be a parent, just go for it", lol.

mumofds's · 15/04/2024 15:44

Some of the posts on here telling you not to get a dog because you have no experience is crazy to me everyone has to start somewhere.. I have 2Ds and I also have a French and English bulldog both have been fantastic with our children and not too hard to train at all very well behaved they also don't need long walks 15-20 mins a couple times a day is perfect. Best of luck with your new addition to the family whatever dog you guys choose

Cocothecoconut · 15/04/2024 15:47

Get a cat (or2) no training required unless they can’t figure out a cat flap, can be left alone for a few hours , can get ones with low fur loss but grooming is theraputic
cuddles so much nicer than a dog

justaboutdonenow · 15/04/2024 15:52

fieldsofbutterflies · 15/04/2024 15:39

People can care about dogs and have a different opinion to you - there's no need to be insulting.

Personally, I think working in rescue can cause you to become jaded because you only see the dogs who are given up on and who have issues - you don't see the millions of dogs who live long and happy lives with their families because those dogs never go anywhere near a rescue centre.

I work with dogs as well and I see hundreds of families whose lives are enriched massively because they've chosen to own a dog. Their dogs improve their fitness, their mental health and bring them closer together. My own MH and social live have both improved massively since owning a dog.

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Another misconception- not every dog in rescue has issues by a long shot.

You say you only see the hundreds of families whose lives are enriched, I also work with dogs & encounter many families like that, but I also see an equal number of dogs abused, neglected, abandoned, given away & generally let down by their 'loving' families, especially in recent years.

fieldsofbutterflies · 15/04/2024 15:53

Another misconception- not every dog in rescue has issues by a long shot.

I never said they did I said you only see the dogs "who have been given up on and who have issues" not "you only see dogs with issues".