I want to get rid of my dog but feel guilty. What should I do?

[Neddie123]

I have a spaniel just over a year old. I previously had a cocker spaniel that I loved to bits. I've had dogs before and know plenty about dog training. I got the dog shortly after I lost my old boy (far too soon as I was still grieving). He was a very cute puppy but I just didn't connect with him, every time I looked at him I wished he was my old dog. My husband said to give it time and I did. He isnt nasty but I just don't love him, in fact I don't even really like him. He ignores commands and is extremely naughty, runs under the farm vehicle (this is so dangerous) so has to spend all time at work tied up. I've trained other dogs not to get in the way of the farm vehicles at work but this dog just doesn't care. I have wanted to re-home him almost since I got him. My husband said to wait til he was neutered, then said to wait til he is 1 and kept telling me to give it time. But he's now 14 months and I still really dislike the dog. Should I just find a home for him? I feel terrible about it but I can't carry on shouting at the dog all the time and don't know what to do. I sometimes wish he would die in his sleep or something and then feel wretched for thinking that. I'm not depressed or anything before anyone suggests that I need antidepressants.

Who knows if she would "bond" with the next dog? It is an animal not a pair of shoes.

Please do the right thing for this dog.

No dog should be shouted at and be unloved and unwanted.

Thank you, I feel that those that have said I shouldn't ever get another dog are being deeply unfair. I'm in a horrible situation and extremely upset at even writing this post.

Going to go against the grain here, but I'm in a similar situation (minus the dangerous machinery)
DDog has just turned one and im just emerging from the 'fake it til you make it' phase, slowly!
Im only now seeing him as his own 'person' rather than comparing him to what went before.
I'd give it a bit more time and look at the differences between the old and the new.
I fixated for a long time how he didn't do or act like old dog.
The rest of my family were head over heels from day one.
But it's only recently that I've seen him as his own character.
He'll never be old dog but different new dog.
I hope you've got it in you to give him a bit longer. He might surprise you one day 💐

What a horrible and unnecessary thing to say.

Rehome the dog NOW

To wish it would die in it's sleep is one of the worst things I have read on MN, it is one of God's living creatures and deserves better than you as it's owner.

Either ask the breeder to have it back, and a decent breeder would ! or contact Spaniel Aid as already advised, or drive it to the nearest rescue 1st thing tomorrow morning.

Quote ' would die in his sleep or something ' - would that something be like actually being killed by the farm vehicle ?!!!

This is so unfair. I've owned other dogs and have horses, I've always been a responsible pet owner and understand that an animal is not something you throw away. I've spent a lot of time and money on this dog and it is with huge regret that I wrote my original post, looking for suggestions or perhaps insight from others in similar situations. I want the best for the animal. Telling me I should never have another animal is unnecessary and nasty.

Focus on the bond, OP.

Honestly, at 14 months old, it is within normal realms that you don't like the spaniel - teenage spanners are a pita. There is a good reason why so many find themsleves homeless at about the age yours is.

You work, work, work at it so that by the time the dog is about 2-3 years old, s/he emerges as a much better version of themselves.

In this situation I would honestly not worry about training, as such. Just the bond between you.

If you can fix that, the training can come much later and probably be a whole lot more successful. If you can't, then all the training in the world will be wasted because you'll never like the dog.

People are telling you you shouldn’t have another dog as you’ve said you shout at this one all the time and wish him dead - if you can feel that and do that to an animal you’ve had for over a year then you shouldn’t be allowed another . Get in touch with Spaniel Aid and hopefully they will find this poor animal a home where someone will love and appreciate him .

Going to get crucified but if you're in a farm environment I'm wondering if you might be a bit more practical and therefore open to trying an ecollar on him? Spaniels can be quite pig headed from what I've found vs other breeds, I've had 9 dogs over the years ranging from listening to a hand signal to needing a bit of a shout to recall/listen to commands when something fun is going on, my spaniel needed an absolute holler to listen and then when she finally heard me she would look at me as if to say "oh that's what that noise was, you wanted something."

A farm environment is also probably quite distracting for a dog like that if you get one bred quite hot, lots of animal and poo smells and probably rat smells and things moving around. An e-collar might help you because it's like giving the dog a check on the lead at a distance to make it listen. If you're hesitant because you think it's cruel you can try it on yourself at the level the dog works at, they're really not that bad.

Would also 1000000% recommend seeing a gundog trainer, they're spaniel whisperers and will be used to seeing what you're dealing with and probably have it straightened out in a few sessions. If it makes you feel better I also wished my spaniel wouldn't wake up some days when she took off after a bird and went deaf 😂She's come good now, wouldn't have another though!!

I don't think anyone is being unfair. It's right there in your post that you wish the dog would die in his sleep and that you tie him up and shout at him.

What's to stop you doing the same to the next dog if you don't bond with him or her?

You feel sorry for you and you only.

We all feel sorry for the dog who had the misfortune to be rehomed with someone who wishes it was dead and shouts at it because they can't control their temper and emotions.

@somekittenmittens as they are illegal from Feb 24 and are extremely cruel you should be thoroughly ashamed of suggesting an e collar .

You shout at your dog, keep it tied up all day and you wish it would die, just awful, that poor dog, rehome asap so it has a chance to be loved and cared for it’s the least you can do for him now.

Good thing it's not February 24th 😉I'd never be ashamed of recommending an ecollar, I live in sheep country and it's a horrible shame to keep a dog hobbled to a leash it's whole life. If you've never had an extremely prey driven dog with field trial champions in it's close lineage I don't expect you to understand that things like a lunge line and lots of cuddles won't work before the dog has died of old age. My dog is a bushing dog and needs to be guaranteed safe around livestock.

@somekittenmittens they are illegal as of this Thursday ( Feb 24) . I don’t care where you live , you don’t shock animals into behaving .

Have you tried one on yourself? It's not like shoving a fork in a plug socket, I've tried them on my own neck and it's just uncomfortable and makes me want to stop the sensation. The dog can stop the sensation by coming back to you. I don't strap the poor dog to a car battery in gleeful delight while cackling at the moon. Not going to hijack OP's thread with this, just offering what worked for me and a high drive spaniel prone to distraction, the dog stopped needing the collar after a month.

Like @Floralnomad says, they become illegal in two days anyway, so the whole discussion is pointless.

The fact that you require something to shock your pets into listening to you says a lot about you as a pet owner - incompetent and cruel at best and vicious and unethical at worst.

Another selfish fucker who should not be allowed anywhere near animals.

Part of being a good & responsible pet owner is about putting in the time, effort and love even with the naughty ones, or the ones who take a bit longer to learn things, or the ones who take a bit more effort.

I think what those posters mean, and I would agree, is that you don’t get to pick and choose to only keep the “good” ones. It’s no the wonder you don’t love this dog and that it is a bit naughty when you have never liked it, dogs read people’s energy more than almost any other animal.

When you get a dog you commit to them for their whole lives. Get a behaviourist and trainer in for the dog, and work on your bond.

This.

When I took my dogs on I made a promise to them they’d have a forever home with me. One of them is a rescue and she’s difficult but I make it work because I made a promise to her. I actually can’t believe someone would talk about their pet this way :( and it was a really upsetting read. Your dog deserves a home where he is loved!

And to wish that the dog would die in his sleep oh my god…

Wow! Yes please give him up - he doesn’t stand a chance with you & deserves a kind and caring home. And please don’t get a dog again.

You wish your poor dog was dead ffs!
I can’t think of anything worse to think about any animal you’re responsible for.