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The doghouse

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Original poster

Regret getting puppy - 6 days in

204 replies

sukiwh · 15/05/2023 11:45

Hello everyone, I’m really just looking for some reassurance here. First puppy in many years, had dogs before but do not remember it being this hard. The cats are furious, I feel so guilty that I have ruined their peaceful little lives, and if I could go back in time, I would not get the puppy. I can see she is objectively cute and understand she is 8 weeks and 6 days old, so can’t expect much from her in the way of understanding. I just wish I could go back in time and not get her. I feel depressed.

Please tell me these feelings will lift. I feel resentful towards this tiny sweet thing. Lots of support from DH and DC, I have no idea why I feel so negatively. I can’t see a future where this decision turns out to be a good one.

OP posts:
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Newpeep · 15/05/2023 11:50

Hang in there - we are 6 months in with our first puppy after older rescues and it is now getting much easier and we're beginning to enjoy her after just feeling like we were putting in a lot and not getting much back!

Puppy and cat relations are still a work in progress. Cat likes the puppy as he's lived with a dog before and puppy just wants to kiss the cat. It is calming down very slowly.

The first few weeks were very dark indeed and we had loads of regrets but now we can see the lovely dog she is becoming and hopefully years of companionship we will have with her.

TheChosenTwo · 15/05/2023 11:51

I’ll need a photo before I can comment any further. Also, I don’t have a dog and will never own one, I’m really just here for a cute puppy photo, I can’t really offer any advice 🫣

PimpMyFridge · 15/05/2023 11:53

Hold on in there. This is the worst bit and unless you're a fool which in sure you're not there will have been many reasons why you made this choice in the first place. Remember when the kids were born how it was like being run over by a truck in the early days, the relief when they finally smiled at you and asked a hint of a future where it wasn't all a chore at about 6 weeks, it's not that different getting a puppy really. 🤣

PimpMyFridge · 15/05/2023 11:53

Showed a hint, that should be.

Chypre · 15/05/2023 11:54

Try getting a playpen for the puppy or putting in the baby/doggy gate (so wouldn't have to close the door). Cats will stay away on their own and puppy won't be able to bother them. After couple of weeks things will fall into place!

Libre2 · 15/05/2023 11:55

Buyer’s remorse. I had exactly the same with our totally easy, undemanding rescue greyhound. It went after a couple of weeks of ridiculous panic and anxiety and now 6 years later I cannot imagine our lives without her. She is the light of our lives. As far as panic and anxiety and “buyer’s remorse” went I also felt the same about the DC. They are now 12 and 14 and we muddle along 😂

Dozycuntlaters · 15/05/2023 11:58

Honestly, the cat will get over it, so don't feel bad for that.

I never ever regretted getting my girl but I did feel bad for the cats. Mypuppy was a bit of a pest when she was tiny and the cats hated her. My older cat lived in the spare room for about two weeks and I did feel bad. However, my girl is almost three now and they all tolerate each other. The dog and my younger cat are absolutely fine, and sometimes the cat will lick her face and rub against her, and the older one whilst she still doesn't like the dog, she tolerates her, doesn't put up with any of the dogs nonsense and will happily sleep on the bed when the dog is on there too. These things take time but honestly, it will pass and you will come to adore the puppy.

SirChenjins · 15/05/2023 11:59

It does get better - I promise! I remember standing in the garden at 3am (with a full day of work ahead of me) in the driving sleet with a poo bag on my hand while our puppy charged around with the zoomies, thinking wtaf have we done. Genuinely considered giving him back to the breeder a couple of times. Now he’s an adored part of the family 😊

DonttouchthatLarry · 15/05/2023 12:03

I regret every puppy - I think it's completely normal! I always think the first 5-6 weeks are the worst and seem like a very long time, but the cats will soon come round and the puppy will soon grow up. Hang in there, it passes a lot faster than baby/toddler years and you'll have an adult dog before you know it.

Definitely recommend crates/puppy pens/gates which will give puppy and cats their own space.

standardduck · 15/05/2023 12:04

It definitely does get better!

I cried and thought we made a mistake when we brought our puppy home almost 3 years ago.

I am heavily pregnant and he is currently curled up with me on the sofa. He is the best boy and my favorite living being at the moment Grin

Hang in there, they grow up quickly and it does get easier with time. Google puppy blues - it's actually very common!

Mariposista · 15/05/2023 12:05

Oh it will get better OP. You have a tiny baby animal who is frightened, missing her mummy and littermates, confused, has no idea how to live in a home. She will get better. It's similar to bringing a newborn home (cue all the oversensitive mums squaking nooooo it's not) - you are tired, pup is awake all night, you can't take your eyes off her, she is disturbing all the other humans and pets in the house...
Give her a chance, she will settle.
Please send a pic

DominoRules · 15/05/2023 12:19

Puppy blues are hideous! I think I cried most days for the first few weeks……. But it will get better and hopefully soon, by the time mine was 16 weeks I adored him and now he’s 18 months he’s by far my favourite in the family 😂

My cat was also furious, they live in harmony now

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 15/05/2023 12:25

It's like bringing a new baby home. It does upend your routine and the pup is also upended and in a new space. It's hard but stick with it and this first couple of weeks will pass. Totally normal to wonder what on earth you've done, and to want to send it back and get normality back.

IAmAlreadyRegrettingMyGreyColourScheme · 15/05/2023 12:33

Totally normal op. I live on a busy dog walking route and have been offered many a pup over the years from stressed out, frazzled pup owners!
Puppy's aren't for everyone but it is a fairly short lived stage. If you can ride this out you'll likely end up with your best decision/friend.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 15/05/2023 12:35

Puppy blues are real. Just like baby blues. You have this tiny creature you can't communicate with who is totally dependent on you and it can be overwhelming. I fell head over heels in love with my puppy on the 30 minute drive home from the breeder but that evening I sat nursing him and could not stop crying! We are experienced dog owners with two other adult dogs (both rescues that we had when they were older pups (6 months) but the responsibility for this puppy and the loss of my previous dog two weeks before left me sobbing!

I did regret the arrival of our husky 6 years ago. He was 6 months old, completely undisciplined, fascinated by my older dog who took to hiding under the desk because he was scared of the husky. When my husband or my son were home life was manageable but otherwise I had to eat standing up in the garden because the beast would try and climb onto my lap to get my food.

Now I adore him. His reaction to the loss of my old dog (unearthly howl as the dog died, refusal to eat, full on doggy depression) cemented his place in my heart even though he is very much my husband's dog.

Try and reframe your feelings as being overwhelmed rather than regret. It gets better and better.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 15/05/2023 12:35

Puppy blues are a thing! And that 8 wk to 18wk window can be really hard work.

cuprunnethover · 15/05/2023 12:37

Ours is currently 4 months and I felt the same. We already had a dog (who also gave me puppy blues though he is perfect now) and I felt terrible guilt about the effect on him. It was made worse because if you Googled when does it get better, you'd get lots of replies about how it takes a year for it to improve. A fucking year!

It actually gets better much sooner. Once the house-training is sorted, it all gets much easier. You're not following them round, watching like a hawk anymore. Once you can walk them, you're not playing endless, tedious games of tug of war and stop-biting-me to get them to fall asleep. Our puppy is already acting more like a dog than a baby who can bite and run very fast. The older dog has got used to him and while he thinks he's a bit of a pain, he lets the pup cuddle up to him and will play with him.

Make sure you enforce naps to give yourself a break and to stop her getting fraught.

SpeckledlyHen · 15/05/2023 12:42

I remember the feeling very well when we got our puppy at 8 weeks old. I had wanted her since a small child and when I got her in my late 30's I remember feeling so overwhelmed. It was like bringing a newborn home. Of course within a few months she was (and still is) a totally adored member of the family.

It will get better but it is very overwhelming at first.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 15/05/2023 12:45

For the first 6 weeks of getting our puppy i regretted my decision and several times sat on the stairs and cried at how bloody hard it was. Hes just turned 3 and i adore him he is my 4th child and i cant imagine our family without him.

My top tip is enforced nap times, i used to put him in his crate at 10am, 2pm and 7pm for a nap. It meant he was safe whilst i got on with things/ did bedtime and also stopped him getting overtired and overstimulated. He still takes himself to bed at those times for a nap now and the crate went when he was a year 🤣

Maraudingmarauders · 15/05/2023 12:47

Just hold on in there, it will be worth it. We got our rescue at 15months at I think I cried every day for 6 weeks. I stopped eating and genuinely spent my days imaging how I'd tell people I'd returned her to the rescue and how I'd never be able to have a dog again because of how id failed at it. That was 4 years ago and I love her to pieces.
A good friend got a puppy a year later and I went to visit/help and she hadn't slept for about a week and couldn't stop crying. Now a dedicated and contented dog mum. It's really really normal.
They are this giant whirlwind that doesnt stop. They don't speak your language. They bite. They mess everywhere and you can't leave them alone for 30seconds or they'll have destroyed your most precious belongings despite them being stashed carefully away in another county. How they manage it I have no idea, but they will push every button you didn't know you had.

And then suddenly you'll wake up and think good god how did I live without them.
It gets easier when you can do nice walks.

My saving grace, which unfortunately I can't do with the baby I'll soon be bringing home, was to crate train. And I would pop her in her crate and go to the local cinema and have 2 hours of peace and my anxiety could lower for a bit. And then I'd be calm enough to go back and do it all again. Obviously she was a bit older so for now you might have to find a willing carer to do the same.

Ylvamoon · 15/05/2023 12:47

What exactly is bothering you about the puppy?

Most typical puppy behaviour will dissappear eventually!
But I agree it's a bit like having a newborn (or worse) suddenly you are tied to the home with this cute little being totally dependent on you for everything!
The good news is, dogs generally mature faster and slot quickly into a lovely routine.

Roselilly36 · 15/05/2023 12:50

Handhold OP, I think everyone that gets a pup has their moments of what the hell have I done! Pups are very hardwork, but they also grow up much quicker than human babies.

Just make sure everyone pulls their weight and helps.

Hopefully the cat will get used to the dog, once the pecking order is established. Our dog, idolised the cats, they would lay with him, and he would put up with untold ridiculous behaviour from them. But someone else I know years on their cat & dog are still mortal enemies. So totally depends.

It will get easier, try not to worry.

AFishCalledKeith · 15/05/2023 12:50

Everyone regrets it 6 days in Grin

It will get better.
The worse.
Then better again.
Then worse.
Then better...

...and so on until you (finally!) have an adult dog. By then you will have knocked the corners off each other and your dog and life will be totally moulded together and you will be great friends.

Remember: puppies are bastards but cute to stop you kicking them out and locking the door behind them.

BigBundleOfFluff · 15/05/2023 13:12

Yes it will get better! I'm a fairly resilient adult but I didn't just cry at the start, I wailed. That did ease quickly, then it was just crying. I'd say after the pup was 16 weeks it gets a lot easier then your life will be the new normal and enjoy it. 16 weeks sounds ages but each week gets better and you do make progress.

I'm now a year in and doing the unthinkable - researching my next puppy! I love my Fluffpup so much, I look forward each morning coming downstairs to see her. She still can be a grade A arsewipe at times, but so can I.

You will have lots of useful advice on this thread - but the best I had was to have a glass of wine each night and chill.

JussathoB · 15/05/2023 13:21

Wondering whether you should take puppy back to the breeder. They might have a waiting list.