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The doghouse

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Original poster

Regret getting puppy - 6 days in

204 replies

sukiwh · 15/05/2023 11:45

Hello everyone, I’m really just looking for some reassurance here. First puppy in many years, had dogs before but do not remember it being this hard. The cats are furious, I feel so guilty that I have ruined their peaceful little lives, and if I could go back in time, I would not get the puppy. I can see she is objectively cute and understand she is 8 weeks and 6 days old, so can’t expect much from her in the way of understanding. I just wish I could go back in time and not get her. I feel depressed.

Please tell me these feelings will lift. I feel resentful towards this tiny sweet thing. Lots of support from DH and DC, I have no idea why I feel so negatively. I can’t see a future where this decision turns out to be a good one.

OP posts:
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18
Weatherwax13 · 15/05/2023 18:40

@SirChenjins God that brought back memories. Shudder! Absolutely agree with PPs that puppy blues are intense. I remember the despair all too well. So glad I persisted. She's 3 now and the love of my life.

Regret getting puppy - 6 days in
Alonglongway · 15/05/2023 18:45

Very much agree with the enforced naps. Our now great 2 year old was hard work as a puppy. He would go haywire when he was tired, didn't know how to settle and would roam around frantically looking for mischief. We called it enforced calm. I would hold him closely on my lap and just not let him go for a couple of mins - he would relax and usually go off into a major nap.

Bs0u416d · 15/05/2023 18:53

I had the worst puppy blues for the first week or two after bringing out boy home. I resented him terribly. I felt like we'd made a dreadful, poorly researched mistake (we'd done loads of research and planning of course) and I used to imagine the relief of dropping him back at the breeders. Hang in there though. You'll get through this bit and pretty soon you won't be able to imagine life without him.

Moanycowbag · 15/05/2023 19:02

I too concur with the enforced naps, young puppies need to get around 20 hours sleep, and it makes them so much more agreeable, I have a 15 week old puppy and things have improved in the fact he can now go out for a short walk, we are doing puppy training classes and have been going to puppy party at the vets, and he has come on leaps and bounds, we haven't had a poo indoors for touch wood 3 weeks now, we are still having the odd pee indoor but it is on a pee pad so not terrible but not great.

I think with puppies you have to think that everything is a phase and that they will hopefully grow out of it, but you do get a feeling a utter panic like a kind of claustrophobia I think with a new pup as you feel tied to the house and realise how much your life has to change for this cute but utterly horrible creature that is biting and barking at you and peeing and pooping all over your house.

puppy blues are totally a thing and I think everyone gets them, thankfully for me they have been fleeting this time, but my old departed boy I cried everyday for the first two weeks as I completely regretted my decision and nearly took him back several times, but he grew into the most amazing and now very missed boy.

ivfbabymomma1 · 15/05/2023 19:06

Just here to say it will get better

And puppy pic! (We have 3 dogs in total and survived through the puppy blues)

Regret getting puppy - 6 days in
pookiedoodlepuppy · 15/05/2023 19:17

@ ivfbabymomma1 your pup is so cute! Unfortunately our eleven week old pup has earned the nickname Taz, if anyone here is old enough to remember the Looney tunes Tasmanian Devil cartoon you'll get it .😁

SirChenjins · 15/05/2023 19:32

Gorgeous puppy photos! 😊

Sgtmajormummy · 15/05/2023 20:10

Puppy pic of Ralph, who’s now a chilled 2yo.
It had been more than 20 years since our last dog and there’s a huge difference in what’s considered responsible ownership nowadays. In the early days when he needed to go out 5 times a day I kept thinking “who put me up to this?”…that would be me.

Regret getting puppy - 6 days in
Regret getting puppy - 6 days in
ilovesushi · 15/05/2023 21:00

It will get better. Get everything set up to minimise the stress on the cats - calming plug ins (Feliway). Food bowls where they can eat and drink undisturbed. Cat only areas out of bounds to puppy. We got a new cat flap put in in the dining room so they could come and go without seeing the dog. Get a crate or pen for the puppy. Train puppy to sit on seeing the cats and give treats and praise. Use stair gates. Pop a lead on if the cats are in the same space. Getting a puppy massively upsets the dynamic but you will all shake down and it will be okay. You are just in that chaotic transition stage.

Vegemite001 · 15/05/2023 21:40

Oh god. Ours is 4 months and the evenings are just awful. She has spent the last 2 hours circling the kitchen and jumping up at everything (and I’ve tried the lot. Lickimat. Positive reinforcement. Boundry games. Calming activities). Unfortunately I’ve lost my temper, too. Hoping it gets easier sooner than 2 years!!!

Spudlet · 16/05/2023 07:35

Remember, no one gets a puppy because they want a puppy. You get a puppy because you want the dog they will grow into. The puppy bit is rubbish, especially before they can go out for little walks. Ours was frankly a little twat, and also managed to run up some humongous vets bills and cause us to cancel a holiday and lose all the money (uk holiday cottage booked before we got said puppy so we hadn’t taken out insurance)😖 However he is now 2 years old and we wouldn’t be without him, he is an absolute superstar and we adore him. We’ve even booked another holiday cottage this year… with the cancellation insurance box ticked this time 😉

LdyPdy · 16/05/2023 07:37

I had puppy blues. It does get better! It took a few months of him biting my ankles on every walk and making me bleed, but I persevered and I love him to bits now. Even when he's being super annoying 😂

Regret getting puppy - 6 days in
Random789 · 16/05/2023 07:46

When my current dog was a brand new puppy I was struck by how 'lonely' his complete lack of understanding made me feel. I'd become so used to living with my elderly dog, who knew my every movement. With an established dog (or cat) it is a conversation all day long, but with a puppy there is nothing there. Yet.
I enjoyed the lovely cuteness, and luckily I was at a quiet enough time in my life that I could cope with the CONSTANT stress of having to stop the puppy doing idiotic life-threatening things. But I can remember thinking that I might get an older dog next time around!

It will get better. The most distressing thing in your post is that you feel worried for your cats' peace of mind. I can understand that. But it is as big an adjustment for them as it is for you, and with time they will settle down and find their own solutions.

Newpeep · 16/05/2023 07:47

We were here…now we’re here at 9 months. I fully recommend checking in recall training. Hers is stunning and she’s a joy to take out.

Regret getting puppy - 6 days in
Regret getting puppy - 6 days in
Random789 · 16/05/2023 07:50

Oooh, pics! Smile
Here's Bolt.

Regret getting puppy - 6 days in
EdithStourton · 16/05/2023 08:00

I feel for you, OP - I've been where you are. Our last puppy was a bloody horror, and a nightmare to house-train, but she's she's grown into a very sweet and affectionate dog.

As someone upthread said, you get a puppy because you want a dog. Puppies are damnably cute, but dogs are so much nicer to live with

CM1897 · 16/05/2023 08:10

sukiwh · 15/05/2023 11:45

Hello everyone, I’m really just looking for some reassurance here. First puppy in many years, had dogs before but do not remember it being this hard. The cats are furious, I feel so guilty that I have ruined their peaceful little lives, and if I could go back in time, I would not get the puppy. I can see she is objectively cute and understand she is 8 weeks and 6 days old, so can’t expect much from her in the way of understanding. I just wish I could go back in time and not get her. I feel depressed.

Please tell me these feelings will lift. I feel resentful towards this tiny sweet thing. Lots of support from DH and DC, I have no idea why I feel so negatively. I can’t see a future where this decision turns out to be a good one.

Ideally, puppies shouldn’t leave their mum until 13 weeks as the mum teaches them important things they need to know. It’s also better to get a rescue as that’ll prevent more and more breeders who sell their puppies too young, you are also likely to find calmer dogs.

When your puppy is a bit older you’ll be able to take them to puppy training classes which will help. Try not to give up, they could end up being your best friend one day soon

CM1897 · 16/05/2023 08:14

Chasingadvice · 15/05/2023 14:15

Why do you need a photo? Another person who simply cannot survive without seeing a picture of the dog? Seriously.

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Slight over reaction lol. She was just stating a light hearted joke 🤦🏻‍♀️

CM1897 · 16/05/2023 08:15

PimpMyFridge · 15/05/2023 18:37

Alright Cruella. 🤣🤣🤣

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂

wheresmymojo · 16/05/2023 08:21

My cats HATED my dog for a few months...

Now, one year on and they all live together happily.

My big boy cat is her bestest friend.

Regret getting puppy - 6 days in
Regret getting puppy - 6 days in
Regret getting puppy - 6 days in
wheresmymojo · 16/05/2023 08:22

Big boy = big boy cat, not my DH Grin

Newpeep · 16/05/2023 08:41

CM1897 · 16/05/2023 08:10

Ideally, puppies shouldn’t leave their mum until 13 weeks as the mum teaches them important things they need to know. It’s also better to get a rescue as that’ll prevent more and more breeders who sell their puppies too young, you are also likely to find calmer dogs.

When your puppy is a bit older you’ll be able to take them to puppy training classes which will help. Try not to give up, they could end up being your best friend one day soon

Show quote history

Not true. They are good to go from 8 weeks. Mum has usually washed her hands of them by then and they have learnt a great deal! At 13 weeks they have missed the vast majority of their crucial window for socialisation so unless the breeder is amazing and can socialise fully anything from 2 - 12 puppies to the same degree all individually they are much better in their new home.

My last dog was a rescue. She had multiple issues. We loved her but she could be hard work and took a lot of management. Current pup is a pup but she has so far zero issues other than the usual age related ones. She is a joy behaviourally. She has come from a very experienced breeder and has been fully health tested and bred for temperament.

Better to get a rescue - depends. We have a cat. We spent 2.5 years trying to rescue. Nobody would rehome to us. Puppies were in huge demand (750 applications for a litter we applied for). We were never going to get a dog that way now. Hopefully in the future but knowing lots of people in rescue it has changed dramatically with the vast majority of dogs having significant health and behaviour problems.

CM1897 · 16/05/2023 09:00

Newpeep · 16/05/2023 08:41

Not true. They are good to go from 8 weeks. Mum has usually washed her hands of them by then and they have learnt a great deal! At 13 weeks they have missed the vast majority of their crucial window for socialisation so unless the breeder is amazing and can socialise fully anything from 2 - 12 puppies to the same degree all individually they are much better in their new home.

My last dog was a rescue. She had multiple issues. We loved her but she could be hard work and took a lot of management. Current pup is a pup but she has so far zero issues other than the usual age related ones. She is a joy behaviourally. She has come from a very experienced breeder and has been fully health tested and bred for temperament.

Better to get a rescue - depends. We have a cat. We spent 2.5 years trying to rescue. Nobody would rehome to us. Puppies were in huge demand (750 applications for a litter we applied for). We were never going to get a dog that way now. Hopefully in the future but knowing lots of people in rescue it has changed dramatically with the vast majority of dogs having significant health and behaviour problems.

Show quote history

Larger breeds are ok to leave a bit earlier but most breeds benefit from more time with their mother and litter mates, that’s been proven. Everyone has a differing opinion though and that’s fine

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 16/05/2023 09:00

I remember that stage well - especially the ‘potty’ training!

Seemed to take forever. She would charge round and round the garden for 20 minutes - and then come back in and poo on the carpet right in front of the television. 😩
But that stage did pass - she lasted 14 and a half years, and I missed her most dreadfully when she was gone.

spiderlight · 16/05/2023 09:02

Ah, the puppy blues!! We normally have older rescue dogs, but the one time we adopted a puppy (at 16 weeks, so she wasn't even still in the ridiculously cute stage), we both sat on the back doorstep on the second day and cried our eyes out. It did get better, and we had 14 wonderful years with her and still missed her terribly. Don't forget that you are basically dealing with a stranger at this point. You don't have a bond or a history with her yet, but that will develop and you'll be utterly smitten with her soon!

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