Regret getting puppy - 6 days in

[sukiwh]

Hello everyone, I’m really just looking for some reassurance here. First puppy in many years, had dogs before but do not remember it being this hard. The cats are furious, I feel so guilty that I have ruined their peaceful little lives, and if I could go back in time, I would not get the puppy. I can see she is objectively cute and understand she is 8 weeks and 6 days old, so can’t expect much from her in the way of understanding. I just wish I could go back in time and not get her. I feel depressed.

Please tell me these feelings will lift. I feel resentful towards this tiny sweet thing. Lots of support from DH and DC, I have no idea why I feel so negatively. I can’t see a future where this decision turns out to be a good one.

@sukiwh how are you feeling now? I have a little 9 week old pup and definitely have a case of the blues. I’m so exhausted and stressed but determined to keep going

Honestly stick with it, my pupper just turned 17 weeks and everything is better, not perfect, but the biting is less, we have had several completely clean days, and he is just an absolute joy, remember everything thing is a phase and they will grow out of it.

Puppies are hard work, but they grow up so quickly that once they’ve been an adult for a few years, you tend to forget that stage almost entirely. It feels like a really tough slog at the time, because you have to be so on top of them to ensure they don’t develop any bad habits that they’ll carry into adulthood, but it’s worth it in the end when you get the desired end result of a well-rounded dog.
I don’t particularly like puppies, at all, honestly, I like adult dogs, but the best adult dogs are the ones you get as a puppy and do all the hard work with.
Some people get a puppy because they want a puppy, and they quickly find out that they’re hard work, you either manage the puppy or do damage control, it’s hard work either way, and people who have the end goal of “having a puppy” usually shouldn’t have bought one. My goal when buying puppies has always been to raise a DOG. I love dogs, but not puppies, getting through the puppy stage, for me, isn’t a problem, because my intent in buying the puppy was to end up with a great adult dog. Puppy regret is a thing, they’re challenging, and often overwhelming, I’m not saying I had no puppy regret at all, just that reminding myself why I got the puppy was enough to get through because there’s a clear aim, people who bought a puppy to have a puppy don’t have that, they had an idea of what having a puppy would be and reality hit them in the head pretty hard with no silver lining for them as puppies don’t stay puppies for long.
it sounds like you’re just going through standard puppy regret, all I can suggest for your situation is to remember that even though you can’t remember it being this hard before, it definitely was, it just doesn’t last long, and you clearly got through it then. You can do this.

I don’t particularly like puppies, at all, honestly, I like adult dogs, but the best adult dogs are the ones you get as a puppy and do all the hard work with.

This is so true. I raise puppies for guide dogs so do all the hard work and someone else benefits from the lovely adult dog 😂

I look endlessly at dhlters and they are never dogs suitable for out family.

I've just sat and read through this whole thread with tears streaming down my face - 4 days in with my new pup and feel exactly the same. Missing my old girl and the ease of our bond and life together. Now living with a tiny, bitey, whiny stranger who I can appreciate is super cute but nothing much beyond that yet. Feeling trapped, overwhelmed and like I will never leave the house ever again!

OP, would love to hear an update on how things are with your pup now months have passed!

Hang in there @moonriver32 It gets better, but it takes a while. You will fall in love with this impossible creature, just as you did with your old girl. I’m in my 60s and have had and lost many dogs over the decades. Puppyhood is much like Labour pain. It’s hell, but we forget and do it again 😳 Your old girl will have been bitey and whiney, but it was a long time ago. This puppy too will grow into a lovely, loveable creature too. My most recent puppy is one-year-old now. She was a bloody nightmare as a young puppy. She’s a big breed, so when still crazy bitey, she was also big and strong. I spent a lot of time looking like a violent abuse victim, covered in bites and bruises. At times I wondered what the hell I’d done, but gradually, I fell in love with her and she really is a gorgeous, loving, loveable girl. I no longer get bitten, she is obedient, but I still get bruises because she is a big, boisterous youngster, but we’re getting there. You’ll be okay and it will be worth it 💐

@AnnieSnap Thank you so much for your reply. Every time I read a post like yours I'm in floods of tears again, I honestly haven't felt like this since I had my son and was in the throes of post-natal depression! Which sounds so dramatic/ridiculous to say. Luckily puppy is a small breed so not big and strong, but it's very early days and we have a long way to go. He's clever, quick to learn and I can logically see that he is very cute, and I want to do the best for him. He just doesn't feel like "my" dog yet and looking back at our life last week it looks like simple bliss! Really appreciate your reply, thanks again.

I hated mine and wished her back to the breeder for about the first 6 months. Then it got easier. Than harder again. Now at 18 months I can't imagine life without her even though she still knows how to push my buttons sometimes. It is a relentless painful, messy, suffocating slog for at least the first year but the dog you get is worth it. As someone says if you want a dog then you get through it. Puppies are truly vile.

I remember being on mumsnet 4 years ago and saying I wanted to give the puppy back to the breeder. She was a bitey little shit, we couldn't walk her anywhere as she hadn't had her injections, there was wee everywhere, the cat hated her....

And someone said, in a year's time you'll be looking down at a little dog asleep in her basket or walking with her somewhere she loves, and you'll forget all that.

And she was absolutely right. Couldn't imagine life without her now, she's just part of the family.

OP if you're still around, I would love to know how things worked out for you?
I am 7 days in with our puppy and feeling really down about everything.

It will get better!! Hang on in there. I remember a friend telling me that in a few months I wouldn't be able to imagine life without my dog and how right he was. I had a terrible time in the first two months and I really wanted to take him back

Hang on in there. It can be a tough journey. Just think how much quicker than human children they are at growing through every phase. It’s worth it when they get there. My girl is 15-months-old now and has been easy for months. She’s my best mate 😀

I was you two weeks ago, I was even ready to take the puppy back but was too tired to do the drive back to the breeder, I now feel ashamed of myself as I just felt nothing for the puppy that I was so excited to bring home and had been counting down the days, but something changed slowly over a couple of days and now I'm head over heels with my fluff ball, but it was horribly dark for the first 10 days.

Hang in there.

The first year is basically just one big investment into a happier future once the dog is mature, once you know their quirks better (and come to love them for it) and once you start to have joyful shared experiences that bond you.

Then, of course, the teenage months hit . I remember sayying to mine "see you on the other side [of teendom] buddy" and here we are, on the other side and I am so in love with him it's unreal.

@ILoveaSunflower

Highly recommend www.facebook.com/groups/dogtrainingadviceandsupport/?ref=share

It's got some great guides for the early days.

Honestly it gets better once they are able to go outside on walks and are reliably house trained.

If they are being awful they are probably over tired. Settle them, even if that's on you on the sofa.

And font bother with crate training.

I'm in a similar position and have found your reply... Lovely feedback 🙏🏻
Can I ask if your pup cried when you left?
My puppy (Henry) doesn't leave my side and cries as soon as I leave the room. He is 15 weeks. I do have a crate and he will sit in it if I'm in the room.
Thank you in advance for any replies.

@CheryllO you should start a new thread, you will get lots of helpful replies in the dog house, but your post will get lost here.

Thank you... I will do that 👍🏻
New here

I feel your pain OP ... our furry little ASBO is 13 weeks (got him at 8) and while I love him I would say there are several times a day, every day, when I dislike him and resent how shit life is at the moment. I know )fuck I'm praying anyway!) that it will pass but right now in the thick of it, I'm tearful most days.

Folks, can I ask, about enforced naps ... ours is a border terrier who fights sleep most days. Sometimes if I let him fall sleep on me first I can put him in his crate and snuggle him amongst his blankets and well maybe get a 45 minutes rest

But he won't go there by himself to sleep (crate is in a corner of lounge and only place on house it will fit) and DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO CHILL THE F OUT!!!

I'm balancing a few training sessions a day, playing with him and letting h potter. As he's restated his jabs he can't really go out for another 5 weeks so other than the garden, visiting friends (oh, he hates the car and wines while trying to climb out of his little booster box thing) were very limited to how we can help him get rid of his energy.

If we just place him in his crate before he's got dozy on us first he cries, thrashes about and tries to rip his bed up. Not helped that generally when enforced naps are attempted it's when his bloody biting has got OTT so he's in the Gremlin Zone.

Weirdly, when he has napped in there and wakes, he'll happily sit and have a stretch and watch us occasionally changing position, for up to half an hour. So clearly he doesnt hate it! And seems happy to sleep at night with a few wee breaks.

OP I'm sorry to have hijacked your thread. I'm taking comfort that there are many of us currently in the trenches

Sorry just noticed this is an old thread

@CheryllO @tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz there is a very supportive long-running puppy survival thread on here – v much worth looking up as a lot of us have been on it with the same troubles.

Thank you. I did see that. Looked through a lot and made a post. Someone suggested I make a repost as my post may get lost.
I will go back and have another look through your see if there is anything I can take from the replies.
Thanks again 🙏🏻

Hi. How are things with you and what was your pup?

It takes a while for "love" to develop, no matter how cute they are. I struggled with my rescue dog for the first few months and now the same behaviours don't aggravate me like they used to. The family moulds itself around the new dog shape in their lives.