Rehoming dog

[HouseOfEssex]

I'm prepared to be flamed terribly for this but I'm desperate for an impartial ear.

We have an 8.5 month old dog, bought after a lot of research from a reputable breeder. He's obedient and well trained.

He has always resource guarded, many things but never his food. Bully sticks and long lasting treats (so he doesn't have them any more) spaces (no longer allowed in certain areas) and random things he steals (could be anything, usually non food) It has taken a LOT of work to manage this, particularly as I have 4 and 7 year old children. They have worked really hard to manage the RG with us along side a behaviourist.

He has bitten my Dad once hard enough to break the skin, both children and my husband. He has bitten me once. All as a result of guarding behaviour.

Today we had left an old pram in front of our armchair. We came in from a long walk, and the dog went to sit on the chair (he's allowed as he understands down means down from that chair) My daughter went to move the pram away from the chair for him and the dog bit her wrist (didn't break skin but left a mark) I told him down and he jumped straight down, as I moved to my daughter he lunged towards me and bit my leg.

He nipped my daughter on Friday when she went to move a pair of glasses away from him. So he's bitten her twice in 3 days.

He has to go doesn't he?

It's so hard as he's currently snoozing on my lap and can be the sweetest dog but I don't trust him around my children and would NEVER trust him around other kids who didn't understand how he can be. We usually have a big Christmas party every year and I know we can't this year as I could never relax with the dog around a load of kids.

I can't believe this has gone so wrong. I'm heartbroken

@SarahSissions I recognised the limitations of my experience and expertise and so sought expert advice. I'm genuinely stumped as to how you think, given my lack of expertise, I could and should have filtered out "bad advice" If I had the knowledge to assess that it was bad advice I wouldn't have needed help in the first place?

I'm really grateful for the insightful, knowledgable and compassionate replies on this thread.

What I've taken from some other posters is that unless you've owned dogs for your entire lifetime and are knowledgeable and experienced about every single aspect of dog ownership and any potential issue you may encounter you should never dare buy your first dog 😔

@HouseOfEssex i don’t think it’s that you should only have a dog if you’ve owned them before- but there is so much advice out there good and bad. I’ve seen many people make mistakes persevering with trainers that don’t work for them or their dog, or not knowing when to go elsewhere.

as I said I would suggest that before considering getting another dog I would spend more time with trainers, owners or breed clubs so you have a bit more experience to assess sources of knowledge or advise.

I think your vet guided you very badly, before you get another dog I would like to see you either personally in a position where you can recongnise bad advice or with a support network who can act as a sounding board

@SarahSissions Thank you for clarifying. In the real world I'm a mum of two kids who wanted a family dog. I did what I thought was enough to have a good outcome for all. I'm not sure how much more time I could invest in becoming an expert on dogs before I get another dog. So I guess my children won't be able to grow up with a dog 🤷🏻‍♀️

@SarahSissions I apologise, that was maybe unecessary. But, I've cried pretty much for a week solid now, and plenty of tears in the months before that. Being criticised when I'm in such a low place is very hard to take.

A difficult decision @HouseOfEssex but done in best interest of dog. No reason that a quiet household a better match for ddog

We have a goldendoodle ( or mutt if anyone prefers I call him that) and both he and all his siblings and parents are the gentlest dogs ever. Some of them are mad as brushes and rookiedog does occasionally bark at random strangers, but he has absolutely never been violent in any way.

I think you were just unlucky - it happens- and unfortunately I think you're right, there's no real option except rehoming. They are a popular breed and it sounds like he'd be much happier in a quiet home without DCs.
If you're at all concerned about how or where the breeder will rehome him too, it looks like there are a number of doodle rescues that might take him in.

the fact you say the pup had issues from 8 weeks concerns me slightly- this really isn’t normal so I would question the pups upbringing at home.

For the OP and for others who may read it - it is entirely normal to bring pups of many/most breeds home at 8 weeks, so not sure why that would be thought to be an issue. Toy breeds would be expected to stay longer with reputable breeders, but most breeds would be fine at 8 weeks.

I think PP means it's unusual for a puppy to show issues from such an early age, so the breeder/background was possibly not great.

@HouseOfEssex I think you have made the best decision under the circumstances for both your dog and your family.

@HouseOfEssex I'm so sorry. For what it's worth, I think you have made absolutely the right decision, both for your family and your dog. And I think you're very brave for making it. You were much more careful than the vast majority of people when looking for a puppy. And wise enough to choose a breeder who would take him back if things didn't work out. Don't beat yourself up xx

You’re right - read that completely wrong, sorry!

Op. I have been in ur exact position. Researched , trained , read. Had a good vet and a very good behaviourist and I still had to re home mine. It was either give him to a rescue with a on the job behaviourist or have him put down.
the day they came and got him I cried my eyes out as I failed him. I loved him so much.

He did ( to my limited knowledge) get re homed . But he was in foster care for a long time before that happened.

I just didn’t know enough and even the behaviourist said it was time to send him to someone who could work with him 1.1 and knew all the little signs to look out for.
To me it sound like u did a good job and did everything u were supposed to do. I would love another dog. But I cannot put myself in that position again. So I help look after others.

@HouseOfEssex I've read all your comments, though not the whole thread. I'm sorry some posters were needlessly shitty towards you. It gets The Doghouse a bad name which, sadly, is not entirely undeserved. There's no need for it. I didn't post earlier as I didn't feel qualified to comment on RG, and I've only just come back to the thread.

I think that you have been very unlucky. Either the dog was never going to be quite right, or the training regimen (and you did your best) just didn't suit him. Given that he has been difficult since he was very young, probably the former.

It's not your fault.

And there's nothing wrong with owning a sensibly-bred crossbred, either.