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The doghouse

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Original poster

How do I live with a dog I can’t stand

120 replies

Cherryblossom56 · 04/09/2022 20:23

My partner moved into my family home almost two years ago. When I say “family home” I mean I share it with other family members including my two children. We have always had one family dog which happened to pass away 6 months after him moving in. I decided to get a puppy as we all missed having a dog. So I bought the same breed of dog that our family have always had. My partner also pushed to get a puppy at the same time so without much discussion he went ahead and got a breed that is notorious for bit being great around strangers, prefers to be the only dog in the house, snaps at anyone who dares to put their hand over the gate. I am now expecting a baby and can’t stand his dog. He works long hours which leaves me to look after and clean up after his dog. His dog snaps at me when I go near it. His dog makes soooooo much mess which I end up having to clean. It sheds everywhere and creates dog dander on every single surface! Apparently I am being paranoid about the dirt/mess and think that the world revolves around me when I try to speak to him about a solution! I have tried telling him how I feel about his dog but he just takes the attitude of like it or not the dog is staying! Just wanted to hear other peoples take on this! Am I being unreasonable? Should I have to except living with a dog that makes me feel uneasy?

OP posts:
AnneTwackie · 04/09/2022 20:29

How is your relationship otherwise OP? Your partner doesn’t sound very considerate at all. Not sure if you know but the section ‘dog house’ is usually about problems with pets, posters might help you with handling the dog but it sounds like the problem is with your partner.

AliceW89 · 04/09/2022 20:30

There is no chance I would have a dog like this in the same house has my DC. Unless the dog miraculously changes over the next few years, your unborn baby turning into a toddler could be a recipe for disaster.

What do the rest of your family think as well? Id be pretty hacked off if a family members partner moved in, got an aggy dog with no discussion, did nothing for it and allowed it to ruin the house.

All in all your DP sounds pretty selfish and unreasonable to be honest.

Losinghope9 · 04/09/2022 20:31

What breed of dog? Male or female? Why is it snapping? How old is the dog?Does it get enough exercise and attention? If he wants so keep the dog then he needs to put the work in to correct these behaviours, you really can't have an unpredictable snappy dog around a young child it will get bitten.

If he's not willing to do this, I would be telling him that he and the dog need to move out.

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 04/09/2022 20:32

So having got a new dpuppy he got another one? Without agreeing?

RandomUsernameHere · 04/09/2022 20:32

I wouldn't want to live with either of them!

NoName2223 · 04/09/2022 20:33

Sadly it sounds like it’s not necessarily the dog that is the issue here.

Summertimesadnesss · 04/09/2022 20:40

Get rid of your dh & his dog
problem solved

Original poster
Cherryblossom56 · 04/09/2022 20:42

Our relationship is really good otherwise! The only sticking point we have is his dog!

OP posts:
Summertimesadnesss · 04/09/2022 20:44

what Is your dhs plan if his dog snaps at you when you have your little baby in your arms?

Original poster
Cherryblossom56 · 04/09/2022 20:45

We got the puppies on the same day. I didn’t want him to get the pup as I was simply replacing one we had lost after 16 years as my kids were devastated and the house seemed empty. There wasn’t much discussion around him bringing a pup into the house…his mind was already made up!

OP posts:
Original poster
Cherryblossom56 · 04/09/2022 20:47

It’s a make Akita just over a year old and only ever snaps at me. We have a large garden that it has access to for several hours a day. Partner walks him when he gets home from work.

OP posts:
serenghetti2011 · 04/09/2022 20:49

So your partner has a vicious snappy dirty dog which he leaves near kids and his pregnant partner & expects you to clean up after and it’s otherwise a ‘great relationship?’ Sorry but your barre is low I would not be putting up with that the dog and the man would be living elsewhere. How will you manage with a newborn no sleep etc
don’t accept it, tell him it’s the dog or you
or don’t but don’t then moan about it?

Dontstopmenowimhavingaball · 04/09/2022 20:51

Agree with the above
he doesn’t sound like a great dh by any stretch of the imagination

Original poster
Cherryblossom56 · 04/09/2022 20:52

At the moment he only snaps if I try to bring him inside the house but it’s his unpredictable nature that makes me feel so uneasy! Apparently it’s my fault he is like that with me as I don’t show him enough affection 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Catch21 · 04/09/2022 20:53

It's worrying that he doesn't seem to be listening to you about this OP. Can't he understand how much impact it's having on your life?

Melonportal · 04/09/2022 20:56

There's no way I'd have an unpredictable snappy Akita around my children. What were you thinking?

sunshinecoffee · 04/09/2022 20:57

I would point blank refuse to live with or look after this dog. What if it goes for the baby? I'd be saying it's me or the dog.

Newuser82 · 04/09/2022 20:57

Oh dear. What a dreadful situation. I know some Akita's can be lovely dogs but they were bred as fighting dogs and are very strong and powerful. A bite from one of those can be catastrophic (obviously as can a bite from any dog). However, this dog is already snappy. Under no circumstances would I allow an aggressive Akita anywhere near my children and I suggest you don't either. I really hope your partner sees sense! Must be very difficult for you.

LadyApplejack · 04/09/2022 20:59

It's hard to know what to suggest. Personally I'd get rid, no question, and DH would have to lump it. But then my DH wouldn't have got a dog without consulting me, and he certainly wouldn't tolerate an aggressive one.

Your issue is your partner doesn't care what you think, or you wouldn't have the dog at all. How do you force it out when he was prepared to dismiss you the first time? It'll probably boil down to you saying "it's me or the dog", and mean it. You're not in the wrong. Let's hope he makes the obvious choice.

Original poster
Cherryblossom56 · 04/09/2022 21:02

My kids are teenagers and it wasn’t snappy as a puppy. Only ever snappy towards me.

OP posts:
Dontstopmenowimhavingaball · 04/09/2022 21:02

your dh is a dick and sounds clueless if that’s his response to your concerns

what are you wanting to people to say on this thread? I don’t think you’ll get many people agreeing to keep a dog and put young dc at risk?

Issummeroveralready · 04/09/2022 21:03

Jesus. Akitas are not to be messed with
Haven't they been read as killing dogs 😬. I'd be seriously worried bring a baby into that.

RandomMess · 04/09/2022 21:05

Honestly I'd have Victoria Stillwell out "it's me or the dog" he for a dog he doesn't have time for that you have to clearly up after Angry

Original poster
Cherryblossom56 · 04/09/2022 21:08

I am seriously worried! He is so friendly towards everyone else in the house…just seems to be me he doesn’t like but that’s warning bells enough for me! I had it out with him tonight and was just told that I am being paranoid about the dirt and that I think the world revolves around me. Started to make me feel like I was being unreasonable but clearly my opinion was correct judging by the amount of people agreeing with me!

OP posts:
greywinds · 04/09/2022 21:08

It's very worrying that it snaps at you, and you are pregnant. Yes, you need to do something to remove the risk.

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