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The doghouse

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Original poster

How do I live with a dog I can’t stand

120 replies

Cherryblossom56 · 04/09/2022 20:23

My partner moved into my family home almost two years ago. When I say “family home” I mean I share it with other family members including my two children. We have always had one family dog which happened to pass away 6 months after him moving in. I decided to get a puppy as we all missed having a dog. So I bought the same breed of dog that our family have always had. My partner also pushed to get a puppy at the same time so without much discussion he went ahead and got a breed that is notorious for bit being great around strangers, prefers to be the only dog in the house, snaps at anyone who dares to put their hand over the gate. I am now expecting a baby and can’t stand his dog. He works long hours which leaves me to look after and clean up after his dog. His dog snaps at me when I go near it. His dog makes soooooo much mess which I end up having to clean. It sheds everywhere and creates dog dander on every single surface! Apparently I am being paranoid about the dirt/mess and think that the world revolves around me when I try to speak to him about a solution! I have tried telling him how I feel about his dog but he just takes the attitude of like it or not the dog is staying! Just wanted to hear other peoples take on this! Am I being unreasonable? Should I have to except living with a dog that makes me feel uneasy?

OP posts:
GetThatHelmetOn · 04/09/2022 21:39

AliceW89 · 04/09/2022 20:30

There is no chance I would have a dog like this in the same house has my DC. Unless the dog miraculously changes over the next few years, your unborn baby turning into a toddler could be a recipe for disaster.

What do the rest of your family think as well? Id be pretty hacked off if a family members partner moved in, got an aggy dog with no discussion, did nothing for it and allowed it to ruin the house.

All in all your DP sounds pretty selfish and unreasonable to be honest.

There is no chance I would have a partner like this in the same house as my family.

OP stand your ground, put your child first because his dad… won’t.

absolutelyanythingwilldo · 04/09/2022 22:05

I suspect the dog is sending your fear. A firm whack on the nose will put him in his place next time he snaps at you (or anyone else). It's zero tolerance for their own good.

MoaningMaude · 04/09/2022 22:23

Holy crap there is some very dodgy advice being handed out here, pack. theory has been debunked years ago, dogs do not need a pack leader, and please do not consider whacking the dog as then it liable to bite you back.

OP I wouldn't trust or have the dog near myself or the baby.

allboysherebutme · 04/09/2022 22:37

There is probably nothing wrong with the dog except he know you don't like him.
Please give him to a home that loves him, I feel very sad reading this. How would you feel living somewhere that you didn't feel loved, you'd be snappy too.
Send him to a loving home asap.
Poor thing sounds miserable. X

allboysherebutme · 04/09/2022 22:38

Maybe get rid of your partner too, you don't sound happy. X

allboysherebutme · 04/09/2022 22:42

Sorry got confused thought you had a dog each and didn't like his . So the dog was noticing this.
Ask them both to leave. X

redbigbananafeet · 04/09/2022 22:50

Melonportal · 04/09/2022 20:56

There's no way I'd have an unpredictable snappy Akita around my children. What were you thinking?

100%

redbigbananafeet · 04/09/2022 22:52

Cherryblossom56 · 04/09/2022 21:08

I am seriously worried! He is so friendly towards everyone else in the house…just seems to be me he doesn’t like but that’s warning bells enough for me! I had it out with him tonight and was just told that I am being paranoid about the dirt and that I think the world revolves around me. Started to make me feel like I was being unreasonable but clearly my opinion was correct judging by the amount of people agreeing with me!

Tell him that at the moment, yes the world bloody well does revolve around you and your unborn child!

redbigbananafeet · 04/09/2022 22:56

allboysherebutme · 04/09/2022 22:42

Sorry got confused thought you had a dog each and didn't like his . So the dog was noticing this.
Ask them both to leave. X

They do x

ozymandiusking · 04/09/2022 23:01

Get rid! I mean him and the dog.

Newuser82 · 04/09/2022 23:37

MoaningMaude · 04/09/2022 22:23

Holy crap there is some very dodgy advice being handed out here, pack. theory has been debunked years ago, dogs do not need a pack leader, and please do not consider whacking the dog as then it liable to bite you back.

OP I wouldn't trust or have the dog near myself or the baby.

Totally!

Enko · 05/09/2022 00:02

absolutelyanythingwilldo · 04/09/2022 22:05

I suspect the dog is sending your fear. A firm whack on the nose will put him in his place next time he snaps at you (or anyone else). It's zero tolerance for their own good.

Do NOT do this.

CockingASnook · 05/09/2022 00:45

Akitas are definitely not dogs I would tolerate around children. I would be almost as concerned by the DP’s dismissive response to the OP’s concerns.

Issummeroveralready · 05/09/2022 05:58

Out of interest, why did he choose this breed out of all the possible breeds?

locke360 · 05/09/2022 06:06

Cherryblossom56 · 04/09/2022 21:10

Just wanted to make sure that I wasn’t being unreasonable by telling him that the dog is an issue. He doesn’t see it and thinks I am just being paranoid.

Akitas are banned in several countries. You're not being paranoid, he is being a dick. You are pregnant - there's no way you can have this dog around in a house with a newborn. To me, that would be grounds to actually end the relationship because it's not safe and if he can't see that he is either an idiot or values a dog more than his family.

villainousbroodmare · 05/09/2022 06:14

For the love of God, don't smack it on the nose. It'll probably bite you.

Sswhinesthebest · 05/09/2022 06:29

I suppose he had just as much right to bring a puppy into the house as you did.

You should have had the discussion/argument/compromise then.

Hiwever I would not be putting myself or kids into danger, so ultimatum time and be prepared to follow through.

ememem84 · 05/09/2022 06:40

They are beautiful looking dogs. But not one I’d want in a family home. Maybe if I lived in a farm…

id be asking your dp to move out. From the op it reads as though you aren’t married and it’s your house.

I wouldn’t be letting it get to the stage where one of the kids or you get bitten and then have to make a decision re the dog.

toomuchlaundry · 05/09/2022 06:42

How did he just turn up with a puppy on the same day as you did? Assume not from a reputable breeder

ememem84 · 05/09/2022 06:42

Fwiw I love dogs and would hate to see any harm come to one. My fil has a jack russell Staffy cross which is a beautiful looking dog but it hasn’t been trained. They shout at it and smack it and never show it kindness. Funnily enough it’s a yappy snappy bitey thing. It jumps up at my dc.

DH has to be very on the ball when he takes the dc there. (I tend not to go with him).

that’s the only dog I’d ever give a good kick to if it tried to bite me again.

sjxoxo · 05/09/2022 06:52

You don’t live with a dog you can’t stand - you need to put the work in to change the dogs behaviour so you all can enjoy living together. What training have you done with the dog? It doesn’t really matter what breed it is - dogs need training and socialisation. Is it getting it’s needs met? Exercise?? I would call an experienced dog trainer and book an appointment. A couple of months of training and it might be a different dog! X

FourChimneys · 05/09/2022 06:53

Do you want your baby to be a statistic in the news? Baby/young child killed by family dog? This story is so common it's horrifying.

Get rid of the dog. If your partner can't see that this is the right thing to do, get rid of him too as he clearly has no respect for you.

Please don't risk the life of your child.

ScarlettnotOHara · 05/09/2022 06:59

Anyone who thinks a dog doesn’t moult must be pretty ignorant. This is why the kennels are over run, selfish people buying dogs without research and then dumping them !

Indoctro · 05/09/2022 07:02

It snaps at you ...you and your partner are aware that a Atkita could easily kill you if it wanted to.?

I think you need to seriously consider if it's safe to have that dog around you.

ScarlettnotOHara · 05/09/2022 07:06

akitarescue.org.uk/ Contact these hopefully the dog can be rehoused to suitable owners who know it’s needs and not treat it like a commodity. It’s soul destroying the amounts of dogs dumped after covid .