Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Husband does not want to take in my dogs.

158 replies

HelloKat · 29/10/2021 22:53

I have two yappy small dogs whom my parents helped looked after for 3 years while i was renting in the city. During those years, my bf and I got married and we're just about to buy a house together. I want to bring my dogs with us to our new home but he is completely against it and is insisting that my parents should continue looking after them. He always knew the dogs were mine and we have often lived with them but as our accommodation for most of the 3 years didnt allow pets, he never had an issue. My husband is threatening to leave me if I bring my dogs with us to our new home. He says that I'm picking them over our relationship and that I should just put them up to adoption. My problem is that I love my dogs and I cant bare the thought of putting them up for adoption and my parent can no longer help look after them. Please help. Really need advice.

OP posts:
Thatsplentyjack · 30/10/2021 06:34

Considering they are 11 (please don't get upset by this) they are unlikely to have a long time left. Cant he put up with them for a few years?

Thatsplentyjack · 30/10/2021 06:35

Although yapping dog that I didn't even want in the first place would drive me absolutely insane.

icedcoffees · 30/10/2021 06:43

@Thatsplentyjack

Considering they are 11 (please don't get upset by this) they are unlikely to have a long time left. Cant he put up with them for a few years?
Small healthy dogs can easily live until they're 15/16/17 years old, if not older.

They could easily be around for a good half a decade yet.

Classicblunder · 30/10/2021 06:50

Something that stuck out to me our accommodation for most of the 3 years - so some of the accommodation over the last 3 years did allow pets but they still stayed with your parents?

I can completely see why he got the impression that they were basically your parents' dogs now.

Some people - myself included - did not grow up with pets. Intellectually, I get that some people feel very strongly about their pets but I don't really get it. I would not want to live with yappy dogs at all.

CovidCorvid · 30/10/2021 06:51

Could you not train them so they don’t yap for a start? That would drive me mad.

I’d pick the dogs over dh.

My dh isn’t a dog person but more than puts up with my dogs which is why he’s a great guy. He loves my current dog even though he pretends not to. And my last dog used to attack him constantly and even in 2 years of being bitten most days he never asked me to get rid of him!

Andwander · 30/10/2021 07:07

I have experience of this dilemma.ther is only one option for: you either keep your dogs or your husband.I strongly recommend,get your own place with your dogs.If you get amplace with your partner,it will end up in tears,believe me.

Strictly1 · 30/10/2021 07:08

If you're not a dog person it's hard to get. I wouldn't want to live with yappy dogs and have my home smelling of dog. It would be a deal breaker for me; I would not be told to 'grow up' as it wasn't obvious or discussed, you've changed the goalposts.

GirlWithAGuitar · 30/10/2021 07:19

Classicblunder

It sounds like OP and her husband have lived with her dogs when possible, when the accommodation has allowed pets over the 3 years. You quoted the last part of this sentence but missed the first part that said just that.

He always knew the dogs were mine and we have often lived with them but as our accommodation for most of the 3 years didnt allow pets, he never had an issue.

Fireflygal · 30/10/2021 07:21

100% agree @Luckingfovely.

You assumed which is foolish on your part. Your parents have had the dogs for 3 years and now you want to take them back??

Who has been financially responsible for the dogs during this time? Life with dogs is a big adjustment listen to his concerns.

If dogs are vital in your life then your dh should have known..I imagine you did act as if they were important to you, until now!!

SW1amp · 30/10/2021 07:36

Can you explain how much of their 11 years has been spent living at your parents house, vs living solely with you?

When you say you used to live with them, do you mean when you lived at home, or did you move out with them?

Because regardless of what your DH wants, if they’ve only known being at your parents house, you’re effectively rehoming them if they moved in with you after being settled, and that’s not particularly kind to them

All the posters saying ‘dogs come first’ are conveniently overlooking that they clearly didn’t come first for OP when she dumped them on her parents!

MichelleScarn · 30/10/2021 07:40

My dogs can be yappy but they are really sweet. I have told him that I will be happy to do all the looking after by myself and won't expect him to help out at all. But he just doesnt want them.

Ah but would you really? Every single walk every mess, everything?

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/10/2021 07:59

How can I persuade him in taking in my dogs?

You can’t. And even if you did, how could you be sure he wouldn’t neglect them, throw them out on the street or drive a long way away with them and drop them off on a busy road to be run over?

I know this sounds rather melodramatic. But I’m trying to weigh it against his insistence they be rehomed.

For me, it’s a no brainer, I’d keep the dogs and ditch the man. This isn’t a compatible relationship.

HaveANiceFuckingDay · 30/10/2021 08:17

I don’t like dogs . BUT. I got one because my husband grew up with dogs and itwasa compromise .
I still dont like it
I very reluctantly take it for walks because it needs to be walked and hardly anyone in this house takes it for a walks I’m lumbered
That’s as far as my parenting of the fucking thing goes
If he doesn’t like dogs he doesn’t like dogs and having one around won’t change his mind
If anything it reenforces the fact
I hate dogs even more Now I have one . Yet my husband treats the thing like another child , petting it , laughing at it , talking to it like a baby , it’s 2 next month , we have many more years of the thing
I really wouldn’t have got it knowing then what I know now
The dog hair, the shit in the garden , the neediness , it’s like having another child honestly
Listen to him . He won’t change his mind . If he’s not a dog person he isn’t a dog person and will treat it like it doesn’t exist or rather he wish it didn’t exist.
I can’t stand animals. Some people are not animal people

Immaculatemisconception · 30/10/2021 08:22

Choose the dogs. You’ll never feel the same about your DH if you don’t. 🐾🐾

Immaculatemisconception · 30/10/2021 08:24

@HaveANiceFuckingDay

I don’t like dogs . BUT. I got one because my husband grew up with dogs and itwasa compromise . I still dont like it I very reluctantly take it for walks because it needs to be walked and hardly anyone in this house takes it for a walks I’m lumbered That’s as far as my parenting of the fucking thing goes If he doesn’t like dogs he doesn’t like dogs and having one around won’t change his mind If anything it reenforces the fact I hate dogs even more Now I have one . Yet my husband treats the thing like another child , petting it , laughing at it , talking to it like a baby , it’s 2 next month , we have many more years of the thing I really wouldn’t have got it knowing then what I know now The dog hair, the shit in the garden , the neediness , it’s like having another child honestly Listen to him . He won’t change his mind . If he’s not a dog person he isn’t a dog person and will treat it like it doesn’t exist or rather he wish it didn’t exist. I can’t stand animals. Some people are not animal people
How chilling to read that! I can’t stand animals WTAF?
Mybalconyiscracking · 30/10/2021 08:26

As someone like to get landed with the smelliest, most spoilt fat little shot hound for the remainder of her expensive life, I do feel your DH’s pain. But this is my Mum’s dog and I love my Mum… so!
Dogs don’t live forever!

Mybalconyiscracking · 30/10/2021 08:26

That should be shithound!

HaveANiceFuckingDay · 30/10/2021 08:30

@immaculatemisconception
Yes really . I can’t stand animals
I barely like people
Some people are not animal people. I don’t like the Fucking thing and don’t get how people laugh at them , pet them and treat the like another child. My friend bought clothes for her dog and cried when it died 🤷🏼‍♀️

HaveANiceFuckingDay · 30/10/2021 08:33

Also , when I take it for a walk and people say , he’s lovely , isn’t he lovely , I’m like ‘ take it ‘ no really .
They look at me weirdly

GoodnightGrandma · 30/10/2021 08:34

I can understand why he thought they’d be staying with your parents, but I’d choose my dog over a man every time.

Snoken · 30/10/2021 08:36

I never thought I would be on your husband’s side in a situation like this, but I think he is right. Living with multiple yappy dogs is hell, and it can really destroy your mental health and just the general mood in the house. Our neighbours have yappy dogs, and they go off every time somebody walks past the house (which is more or less every couple of minutes), and if someone rings their doorbell it’s mayhem in there for several minutes. I only hear it in certain parts of the house, but I would absolutely hate living in that kind of chaos.

Because you never made it clear to him that you and the dogs came as a package, I think it’s really unfair to expect him to want to live with them.

Is the yappy-ness the reason your parents no longer wants them?

MichelleScarn · 30/10/2021 08:36

@HaveANiceFuckingDay he sounds like a bloody doggy Disney dad, what an arse!

CircusSands · 30/10/2021 08:39

No matter how the current situation pans out (I don't think you will change his mind), do you know your husband's feelings about other dogs in the future? i.e. is it just the 2 little yappy ones that are the issue, or dogs in the home in general? If you have always thought that when you have your own house you will have dog(s), and he is the opposite, this is a real issue.

SilverOtter · 30/10/2021 08:40

@Clymene

Dogs over men. Every time
I second this.
BruceAndNosh · 30/10/2021 08:40

Your dogs can't be THAT important to you if you let them live elsewhere for 3 years.
Were you going round and walking them? Paying for their food and vets bills?