Total beginner in dog ownership: advice please

[stilllovingmysleep]

Hi all

DH and I are starting to research about getting a dog. We have a DS aged 7. We want to do proper research before starting the actual process of looking for a dog. So far I've asked a few people who seem to have all sorts of different views so I'm confused! By the way, I've never owned a dog but DH always had dogs while growing up.

Both DH and I work but I am about to finish (in 3 months) a demanding job and will move to a more flexible job where I aim to be working long hours 3 days a week & the rest more flexibly. DH has lots of flexibility too.

Instead of asking specific questions, can I just throw this at you so that you can advise me about what to consider as first issues?

I wouldn't worry about neutering yet OP - it really does depend on the dog. Mine is almost 11 months old and still isn't done. Research shows that the longer you can leave it, the better. If he was humping everything or everyone in sight, I would already have done it! He's not though, so no big rush.

CalliopeTorres such a sweet dog!

I think the fact that you're thinking carefully about this, willing to do your research are all positives, so much better than people who rush into dog ownership on a whim!

I've fostered twice and while I loved it, I did appreciate the days after they'd gone to a new home because it meant I had a break from dog walking! (my DH and DD weren't really interested in that). It's important that your DH and DS are on board with the whole idea. Children generally love dogs but lose interest with the day to day stuff, walking, picking up poo, feeding etc so that's all down to you.

The foster dogs I had were ex-street dogs, but had been in rescue kennels, were pretty much house-trained (one was perfect), sociable and very easy. Just had to wait a few weeks until they could be let off the lead (as with any dog). Much, much easier than puppies.

A couple of pictures .... both rescues. One, Eleanor, already in a UK foster home, the 2nd, Jimmy, is in Cyprus (very easy adoption procedures for both). He's a poodle cross and may well be non-shedding!

You've had some good advice on here but just to go back to your fear of dogs...

When you walk your dog, you will encounter lots and lots of other dogs. Some will want to play with your dog, some might even be aggressive towards your dog.
And your dog will be closely looking at your body language, and giving you body language clues of his own.

If you have a deep fear of lots of breeds, this is going to be something your dog picks up on and could have a negative effect on your dogs behaviour.

Think about if you are out for a walk, and a friendly whippet comes up to your dog. Your dog reads the body language and thinks all is fine, but then looks to you to see you scared and wide-eyed (and even worse, transmitting that down the lead which you've now gripped tight)
The dog is confused initially, but the 5th/10th time you do this, the dog picks up the pattern that this breed is a threat to you.
You are potentially creating a behaviour problem and making your dog reactive.

Given that the dogs you've listed on your 'scared' list are very very common, it would be a good idea to work on overcoming your fears and learning how to read dog body language ahead of getting any dog.

Knowing the basics of dog body language is great, especially when you have dogs and children, so you can read their stress signals. If you respond when a dog tells you it is stressed (by children, other dogs etc) you can stop the situation escalating to an aggressive one, and make life happy for you and your dog.
It will also help you realise that there is nothing to be scared of when a dog is displaying happy behaviour...

Sparechange thanks that's good advice indeed. I don't however have a 'deep fear' unless it comes to a Rottweiler off lead. I don't think I would be scared of a whippet for example, just wouldn't feel 100% comfortable as first time owner owning one.

Today we are visiting our first shelter for our first chat and for some coffee

Just to try and reassure you somewhat with regards to Rottweilers; we were walking in a local forest a couple of weeks ago and came across a woman with her Rottweiler who was off lead. He was a huge muscly dog and my dog is a tiny fluffy 8kg scrap of a thing.

Our dogs had a great old time together, playing chase, for the ten minutes we stood chatting to the Rottweiler's owner. The Rottweiler was a lovely dog, beautifully behaved, and was fantastic and patient with my dog, who still has the exuberance of a puppy. He also came to say hello to me and my husband at one point, sitting politely in front of us and letting us stroke him.

The owner told us she gets quite a bit of negativity about her dog. Just that morning someone had made a comment to her about having a dangerous dog off lead. It was a silly comment because you only had to look at the relationship between him and his owner to see that he was beautifully trained and really well behaved.

There are preconceptions about certain breeds, but since we've had our dog, we've found the breed doesn't really matter - it's how the dog has been trained that counts. We actually met one dog owner a few months ago who always kept her dog on a lead because it was nervous since it had been attacked... by a Jack Russell.

Dogsmightfly yes I'm sure that's 100% true, that the relationship to the owner and the quality of training is what matters rather than the breed. Having said that, as a first time dog owner I wouldn't feel confident to get a large dog like that.

By the way we visited a shelter today as a first exploration and it's true that there were loads of Rottweilers and staffies there which made me sad

Oh I wasn't suggesting you get a Rottweiler! I thought you meant you were a bit worried about seeing one off lead

OP, this will possibly be a helpful suggestion for you: please read 'On Talking Terms With Dogs: Calming Signals', by Turid Rugaas. My behaviourist strongly recommended this ... and said that I'd want to put my copy of 'Perfect Puppy' in the bin after reading it! It is all about communication between dog and owner, and basically how to understand your dog better.
I feel it would help you both with your own dog-to-be, and those you will encounter on walks, etc.

Dieu thanks for the book suggestion!

you're welcome and all the best.