If there was an alternative Crufts, what would your dog win?

[CMOTDibbler]

I'm idly watching Crufts and contemplating how Cmotdog would run round the agility at high speed the wrong way, then try and eat something.

But, based on today, he would win 'most horse poo eaten' and 'fastest consumption of pig ear'. And I wondered what other classes there should be for real dogs

"guess the breed/heritage" for my friends dog he is just bizarre looking

Most food stolen in a week.

Most disobedient dog at class.

Most quilts chewed.

Guiltiest look.

The 'Drooling for toast' award.

The whooshiest tail.

The best footballer!

The most enthusiasm for anything.

Best trumpet award and snorting award (pug)!!

I like the idea of guiltiest look . Mine rarely looks guilty, esp when he should relating to food stealing.

Footballing should be a class.

"Smelliest feet" or best "feed me I'm starving" look. He's a Labrador.

The best 'selective hearing' award!

GSD - the stinkiest farts
Patterdale - highest body to jump height ratio - from standing

Champions

I think Cmotdog would give yours a run for their money with the farts WhereAreMyShoes - esp last weekend after he ate an apple pie...

Best kangaroo impression

Best "move over mum I need to sit on your knee cos I'm scared" all 40kgs of him !!!

The sofa aerobics award

Best smile

'Best kangaroo impression'

Ooh, I'm entering that class.

also, best sad face and worst recall

Loudest shouting at the cat flap award

Today mine would win fastest and stealthiest cheese sandwich theft

Best reaction to licking a frog :-D

Possibly not many other entrants and i'm doubtful i could get her to repeat said frog licking!

Lab-Collie cross.

Trotting around, with three tenis balls in his mouth PLUS four or five sticks of wood.

Most shits during a walk.

Most interesting thing vomited up.

Most ridiculous coat when unclipped.

Longest time holding breath under water while trying to pick up an enormous boulder.

Largest boulder found on riverbed.

Most insurance claims over lifetime.

We went to crufts today - lovely! Anyway, my lab would win Best Rolling Performance (fox poo coverage).

Staffy would definitely win Best Gobshite!

He spent over an hour woofing at pigeons that dared to sit on the roof!

I forgot one -

Best presentation of a shit on a platform higher than their arse. (Involves tricky handstand manoeuvre against tree stump, bench or similar)

Best at sniffing out and scoffing the mothers day chocolates DS2 made at school and hid under his bed and didn't shut the bedroom door.

Then best at comforting DS2 when he was crying and couldn't tell mummy about it because its a secret.

My Staffie would win Best Impersonation of a Duvet Covering a Human Being.

He cries unless we let him lay flat out on us.