Dog really hates toddler DS

[TheHolyGruel]

I have posted about this before. I have two dogs (staffs) and a toddler DS who is 20mo.

My older dog (male) really dislikes my DS. He growls at him constantly and it is just getting worse. We had problems with this dog being dog aggressive but this has been overcome somewhat by walking him on a muzzle and walking the dogs separately. The dog has been checked by a vet, other than a recent worm problem (now sorted) there is nothing wrong.

We sought advice from a dog trainer/rescue person who we had a couple of sessions with. His advice re the toddler/dog situation was to put the dog down, as if something did go wrong then not only would it be a dreadful situation for us, but dreadful for staffies everywhere (another story for the papers etc, another crack in the BSL nonsense defence - I fully believe that BSL is bollocks and that the problem is not because he's a staff, but I'll talk about that in a moment). But I don't feel I can do it. In the meantime, any attempts to unite dog and DS are failing. DS is instructed to offer dog treats, to sit nicely and pet nicely, not to run up to dog, not to touch anything belonging to dog, etc. I make an effort for the dogs to be in the same room as DS as often as possible, but I am becoming worried for DS safety, as dog is really sounding at the end of his rope.

I honestly believe it is because the dog has been usurped from his position of 'first born'. The other dog displays no such issues, and is very fond of DS. The problem dog has always been the established top dog.

DH works away from home sometimes and has his biggest stint of the year coming up next month. He is away for a month, and I am petrified of how I will cope with this situation alone. It is so stressful.

In the first instance, does anyone know of a way in which I could find a foster carer for my dog, initially for this upcoming period, or is this unrealistic? He is fine with dogs smaller than himself and with older children (all children aside from DS it seems, in fact).

Can anyone offer any other advice or solutions? I think ultimately he will need rehoming, but I also know it's not that simple...

It's really off that your dc can't enter your kitchen, but you mention the dogs quality of life. Why can't you rehome? Is it that it's hard to rehome staffies in particular? Won't dog shelters take him in?

look rescue centers are full of untrained, unsocialised staffys

People buy them for dubious reasons, don't bother to train them and then dump them when they don't behave.

anyone?

It's not easy to rehome any dog, there are far more unwanted dogs (a large proportion of them staffies) than there are good homes for them, and often there's a waiting list even for spaces in rescue kennels, never mind actually finding a permanent home after that.

I would guess a Staffie that had shown aggression to a child would be more difficult than average, to say the least. And if there's a question of possible pit-bull type, then there could be a legal issue as well.

I hope the OP has some luck with the rescue contacts suggested and gets something sorted, but no it's not an easy or instant process usually.

LookBehindYou, it is hard to rehome any dog properly. Around 25,000 dogs in the Uk are PTS every year because there are no homes for them and around half of those are staffs or staff crosses. Dog shelters are full and most have a long waiting list for places.

OP, I understand this is a difficult situation for you. Can you chat to a couple of behaviourists and see if they can come up with a solution to the financial issue? They may be able to offer a reduced fee or know of someone good but who wants to gain more experience or something? I appreciate what you say about your dog's quality of life, but that has to be weighed up against the alternatives and if some days you can only offer him a short walk, then perhaps you can find time to throw a ball in the garden or do some training with him, or give him a bone frokm the butcher to chew? Perhaps during the periods your DH is there you can spend more time with the dog and more time walking him and maybe you can find someone to walk the dog for you some of the time or mind your DS while you walk the dog? Yes, it's an adjustment and no, it's not ideal, but plenty of dogs live in a less than ideal situation and are still perfectly happy.

This is an awful situation for you OP and I hope you can resolve it soon.

This is a vicious circle I think. The more you feel guilty about the situation the more stressed you become. The more stressed you are the more that is felt by the dog and the dog becomes stressed too. That will inevitably affect the dog's behaviour.

Easier said than done I know, and not a long term solution, but while you are looking for a new home for your dog anything you can do to make yourself calmer and more peaceful around the dog might help.

Can I ask how you react when your dog growls at your DS? Do you fuss the dog or remove it? Or just ignore?

Good luck

Then the OP needs to take other measures. Obviously training isn't possible or the OP would have done it by now. This is a tragedy waiting to happen. No need to bang your head on the desk hairy - I asked the question before to stress that rehoming wasn't going to happen. So it's plan b. The plan that nobody wants to mention.

I am sorry for the OP who is clearly in a stressful situation, though the best and quickest answer would be to have the wretched animal put down. However, what boggles me more is all the whinyarses going, persevere with a difficult, dangerous dog, it's a terrible thing to have a dog put to sleep even when it's a clear danger to your own children.
People's circumstances change. You might well start off with good intentions having a pet, but then you might have a DC who is allergic to the pet - so you need to get rid of the pet. Or you might end up seriously broke through no fault of anyone's (redunancy, serious illness, disability) and need to get rid of the pet because the household budget can't support it any more.

THe bottom line is, a pet is just a pet. You can't give it priority over the children. If it has to go then it has to go.

solidgold well said

"I know it seems like Herbert is being harsh, but it seems like staffies are 'her breed' iyswim and having to constantly defend them and clean up after inexperienced or neglectful owners must be wearing"

I agree, it must be wearing, but she really doesn't help her cause by being so obnoxious to someone who is trying to act responsibly.

Wow. just wow

what sgb said.

NoDeposit, I ignore, I don't want the dog to have any attention for this behaviour. Although at the same time I know the growling is a warning, so I have no idea whether I should be doing something for the dog since he is clearly not comfortable with DS around.

And rescues, in an ideal world, should only exist to help with unforseen circumstances such as allergies, redundancy, illness or disability. Unfortunately people who deserve the help are often left with none because their space has been taken by someone who simply cannot be bothered any more or brought a dog into their home without thinking it through properly. This is why so many dogs end up being killed for lack of a decent rescue space and why people on threads like this get so exacerbated by the "Re-home without trying all other avenues" attitudes displayed on this thread.

FWIW I don't believe that rehoming or pts is the only option in this case. It would be an option to keep the dog and the child separate until a behaviourist could become involved. But then I am not OP and I don't know the layout of her house or how much time she has to devote to rehabilitating this dog. For her own reasons OP has chosen to rehome the dog to a responsible, no kill rescue. Were it not for the deplorable 'disposable pet' attitude that many people have that rescue space would not be so hard for OP to find.

Were it not for the undeserved reputation of the staffy thanks to the hysterionics of the uneducated masses and media outlets like The Daily Fail fuelling the hysteria, then Staffys would not be suffering en masse in rescues and OPs dog would stand better chance of finding a good home.

Midori, I appreciate your suggestions, but I have exhausted these options. I asked for help with a behaviourist before, that's when I was referred to Val's person.

We have no garden, no money, no wiggle room, and frankly I'm sick of the stress, I am on eggshells in my own home. I just want to rehome him. If this is impossible, DH has said he will take him to be PTS. Obviously I would rather this didn't happen, but dealing with this has made me ill on top of PND and I can't cope with it. Sorry but I can't. I've tried.

Yep, we defo need to bring back the dog license and introduce some sort of ownership test to weed out people who clearly are not up to owning one, however much they convince themselves.

I don't think a dog licence would help. I don't know what would, but a licence is not the answer.

A total ban on the breeding of SBTs in the UK would help. Not a ban on ownership or rehoming via responsible sources, just breeding. Making it illegal to sell dogs or any live animal for that matter on Gumtree, FB etc. would help.

Monitoring breeders more closely would help.

It's not the daily fail's fault (although they often get the breed of the dog wrong anyway). It's the fault of people who breed dogs like this for specific cruel intentions and idiot owners who don't think it through or take on the responsibility of training their dangerous dog.

'the attitude and beliefs of the masses does not land dogs in rescues'

Haven't read every post on this thread so don't know if it's been mentioned already. But would these people help or at least advise you on the best way forward.

www.staffordwelfare.com/

I wonder if other animals behaving in a less than ideal way would bring their respective experts out of the woodwork to help?

I actually could do with some advise on a different animal. I might try that.

I have an evil chicken who tries to rip your finger nails out every time you go near her

D0-why should there be a total ban on breeding SBT?
I own one, so do many of my friends-our dogs are lovable, infact they would lick you to death if anything!
ops dog's aggressivness towards her son is the problem here but is doesn't mean to say all the SBT are evil