Dog really hates toddler DS

[TheHolyGruel]

I have posted about this before. I have two dogs (staffs) and a toddler DS who is 20mo.

My older dog (male) really dislikes my DS. He growls at him constantly and it is just getting worse. We had problems with this dog being dog aggressive but this has been overcome somewhat by walking him on a muzzle and walking the dogs separately. The dog has been checked by a vet, other than a recent worm problem (now sorted) there is nothing wrong.

We sought advice from a dog trainer/rescue person who we had a couple of sessions with. His advice re the toddler/dog situation was to put the dog down, as if something did go wrong then not only would it be a dreadful situation for us, but dreadful for staffies everywhere (another story for the papers etc, another crack in the BSL nonsense defence - I fully believe that BSL is bollocks and that the problem is not because he's a staff, but I'll talk about that in a moment). But I don't feel I can do it. In the meantime, any attempts to unite dog and DS are failing. DS is instructed to offer dog treats, to sit nicely and pet nicely, not to run up to dog, not to touch anything belonging to dog, etc. I make an effort for the dogs to be in the same room as DS as often as possible, but I am becoming worried for DS safety, as dog is really sounding at the end of his rope.

I honestly believe it is because the dog has been usurped from his position of 'first born'. The other dog displays no such issues, and is very fond of DS. The problem dog has always been the established top dog.

DH works away from home sometimes and has his biggest stint of the year coming up next month. He is away for a month, and I am petrified of how I will cope with this situation alone. It is so stressful.

In the first instance, does anyone know of a way in which I could find a foster carer for my dog, initially for this upcoming period, or is this unrealistic? He is fine with dogs smaller than himself and with older children (all children aside from DS it seems, in fact).

Can anyone offer any other advice or solutions? I think ultimately he will need rehoming, but I also know it's not that simple...

Dogs don't feel human emotions. It could be that he is protecting you from a perceived threat i.e DS or it could be that he sees you as his possession and DS is touching his stuff. How is when other people are close to you?

I understand the trainers reasoning completely. The last thing the bull breeds need is yet more bad press and of course you need to keep DS safe, he is the priority.

However as you say the dog is fine with other children I don't think this out and out aggression or something un-solvable. Only you know whether you have the time and space to solve this safely.

With the growling on the sofa 1) stop the dog going on the sofa. Give him a cosy bed, near you but not so close that he's going to get tripped over. Make the bed more appealing than the sofa. Hide treats in it and give treats every time the dog goes to the bed of his own accord. If he gets on the sofa quietly remove him and put him on his bed. Treat once he is in bed.

Don't let him sit on you unless you invite him to do so. Not a dominance thing, just good manners. Sit on the floor with him and invite the dog to come to you.

If he growls quietly take him out of the room. Don't punish him or shout at him. Just take him out until he is quiet again.

Is there no money at all for a trainer? Have you been in touch with Val since then? She may know of someone else who could help or a rescue group who would be willing to take and work with the dog.

If you contact the rescue I linked they will put in you in touch with the group nearest to you.

The dog is 5. He was from a breeder, but I can't find their details anywhere. I only know they were based in Surrey.

Thanks D0oin, will contact them when DS goes down for a nap.

The sitting on/close to me is on the floor when I am in the playroom with DS, he is invited in, when it gets too much for him he will sometimes opt to go back to his crate where he is safe (DS knows not to touch it) but mostly he just growls and snarls at DS, even if DS is with the other dog playing. I feel he is threatened in some way, I just don't understand it. Dog is fine with me when other people are close to me. We really didn't expect this of the dog when DS came along, he had always been lovely with kids.

'top dog', bollocks?
A dog is a pack animal. Yes they do work together but they also protect eachother and create a hierarchy. This dog is protecting the op (member of the pack) and asserting itself against the newcomer (ds) it doesnt want to drop down the pecking order. This isnt us putting human emotions on an animal, just nature of an animal.

How absolutely awful for you OP. I really hope that you can find a home sooner rather than later. Is there a Dogs Trust or Blue Cross near you? I think personally I would have the dog pts if it was so obviously threatening to my child (especially if the only alternative would be for the dog to languish in a home for the rest of it's life), but I realise that this is a very difficult decision.

Ephiny - I have a 'jealous' dog. My rescue greyhound can't see me, DH or DD fussing another dog without coming over and trying to push the other dog out of the way. Luckily she is the softest dog in the world, just very needy.

Read your own posts, HG:
"[the rescue worker's] advice re the toddler/dog situation was to put the dog down"
"any attempts to unite dog and DS are failing"
"if DS gets too close (not even approaching him) he growls." "
"I just cannot relax in my own home. The dog can scale the babygates and frequently does."

He is a danger to your son. That should be the end of the story and he should be out. Rehoming would be nice but if not he should be put down. You should do anything it takes to protect your son. Why are you hesitating here?

If he's fine when you are close to other people it's unlikely to be that he sees you as something that is his and only his.

I'd keep the dog out of the playroom for now.

He snarls as well as growls.. So bears his teeth?! Why the actual fuck do you still have this dog? It's threatening your baby. This is bonkers

Bares not bears

I am a pet lover and owner -cats at the moment but have had a dog in past.

I would have to agree with scummymummy - you should rehome the dog ASAP. You would never forgive yourself if anything happens to your DS, particularly as the dog has given you so many warnings. It is asking to be rehomed.

A wolf is a pack animal. Staffies aren't wolves. They are canines. Dogs. Not wolves. They are sociable animals, but they don't have packs in the same sense that wolves do. They don't have a rigid hierarchy. They have fluid social groups and any relationship is based on past interactions and experiences.

Even wolves do not have a hierarchy so rigid as we have been led to believe, their's is based on age and experience and mutual respect, not power gained from fear or violence or by oppressing weaker pack members. The research that started all of this off was flawed. The researchers themselves have admitted they were wrong.

You must be mad.

You are risking the life of your baby? Are you insane? Why are you even tossing this over in your mind? Total and complete neglect of your child's needs

The world has gone bonkers. Truly.

DO why don't you have the dog then? It is a danger to ops son, it's aggressive, she has sought help. However, Barbara woodhouse you seem to have a great deal of knowledge and understanding of this animal, so perhaps it would be best placed with you?

Sorry, I do love animals but in this instance I would have to rehome the dog.

IMO the 'top dog' theory isn't bollocks, it is absolutely true. And the problem with the OP not having the dog from a puppy is that she's not been able to train her dog to know his position of 'bottom' of the pile rather than 'top'.

I am a Staffie love but the only advice I can give here is for the dog to be re-homed. Can you tell us a bit about him, OP? My old Staffie died a couple of weeks ago and we are not really ready for another yet, but there must be some families like mine with grown up children, where no children ever cross the threshold, who might be interested if he is generally friendly and well behaved.

Who cares whether it is top dog/not top dog/feeling lonely/feeling whatever?

It growls, it snarls, it shows its teeth.

And it does all this at a baby?

And some folk on here think it's worth sticking with it?

MADNESS

I would happily take the dog if OP cannot find anyone else. People really need to stop challenging me with things like that as though it is something I would find shocking. My answer is almost always that I will take the dog until a place of safety can be found.

How is he with other dogs in the house and cats? Because that is something that would present a problem to me. A bit iffy I can work on, full on red mist descending and I-need-to-eat-that-whippet-now would be harder for me to manage.

Let's reword this thread:

My boyfriend doesn't like my baby, he shouts at him and threatens to punch and bite him. I can't trust him near him, and this is even if I am in the same room. What do I do???

Answer : leave the bastard/chuck him out

I think most people are saying the dog needs to go, aren't they? But it might take some time to find a place. In fact, the OP is saying that she wants to rehome. She's looking for help in doing so.

Get rid of the dog. It's only a bloody dog and your child should take priority.

because it is a nasty potential killer of toddlers,

Posts like this really piss me off. Very useful and informative to the OP. There is no need to panic like this. Any human/dog/animal could be a potential killer of humans but we don't go round trying to scare people by telling them all that.

OP It might be a good idea to look at rehoming the dog there is no need to have the dog put down he obviously needs an adult only home. Well done for not getting panicky about the dog and child. In the meantime make sure your DS and Dog are never left alone together.

It does sound like a ticking bomb OP, I really wouldn't hang about in rehoming this dog, - in fact is there anyone in your area that could 'foster' it while looking for a new home? Try googling it.

Yay DO take the dog, take the dog, take the dog.

Anything to get it away from this baby

chicken yes most people can see this is an unworkable situation