Dog really hates toddler DS

[TheHolyGruel]

I have posted about this before. I have two dogs (staffs) and a toddler DS who is 20mo.

My older dog (male) really dislikes my DS. He growls at him constantly and it is just getting worse. We had problems with this dog being dog aggressive but this has been overcome somewhat by walking him on a muzzle and walking the dogs separately. The dog has been checked by a vet, other than a recent worm problem (now sorted) there is nothing wrong.

We sought advice from a dog trainer/rescue person who we had a couple of sessions with. His advice re the toddler/dog situation was to put the dog down, as if something did go wrong then not only would it be a dreadful situation for us, but dreadful for staffies everywhere (another story for the papers etc, another crack in the BSL nonsense defence - I fully believe that BSL is bollocks and that the problem is not because he's a staff, but I'll talk about that in a moment). But I don't feel I can do it. In the meantime, any attempts to unite dog and DS are failing. DS is instructed to offer dog treats, to sit nicely and pet nicely, not to run up to dog, not to touch anything belonging to dog, etc. I make an effort for the dogs to be in the same room as DS as often as possible, but I am becoming worried for DS safety, as dog is really sounding at the end of his rope.

I honestly believe it is because the dog has been usurped from his position of 'first born'. The other dog displays no such issues, and is very fond of DS. The problem dog has always been the established top dog.

DH works away from home sometimes and has his biggest stint of the year coming up next month. He is away for a month, and I am petrified of how I will cope with this situation alone. It is so stressful.

In the first instance, does anyone know of a way in which I could find a foster carer for my dog, initially for this upcoming period, or is this unrealistic? He is fine with dogs smaller than himself and with older children (all children aside from DS it seems, in fact).

Can anyone offer any other advice or solutions? I think ultimately he will need rehoming, but I also know it's not that simple...

I'm still waiting for one of the new doghouse posters to advise me on whippet/acid rain problem if y'all are bored.

I read the OP. 20m dc. Growling dog. Dog can scale the baby gate and frequently does. OP still hasn't rehoused. The OP would not be able to stop the dog if it attacked.

No issues with DH, scummy, he was actually my dog although DH loves him too. It's just unworkable for us as a family now. We are in agreement that fostering in the short term, if not rehoming, is the best solution.

I have read the first and last page only, I can imagine what is in between...

OP, I am very suprised that someone who Val recommended suggested you have your dog killed rather than try to find a solution to your problem and I'm even more suprised he professed to know that the dog may have Pitbull in him. Anyway, if you can't currently afford a behaviourist, then speak to one (you can look here: www.apbc.org.uk and start saving up. If your dog has insurance then this may well cover a behaviourist.

In the meantime, just keep the dog seperate from your DS and if you need to, then this can be a long term solution.

Your dog is not 'aggressive' as some people have suggested, not with humans at least. Dog/dog aggression is a completely different thing and in fact, most dog aggressive dogs are ironically some fo the most affectionate dogs with humans. The fact your dog is growling suggests he is of good nature. If he could speak, it's the equivalent of saying 'I don't like that, make it stop please'. So, listen to him. He doesn't like being around your son. You may or may not be able to work on that and change it, but keeping the two seperate shouldn't be a problem, surely?

I keep my own dogs seperate from my youngest two children, except during walks, as my youngest DS has Downs Syndrome and doesn't understand that he can't harrass the dogs and can be clumsy, so could easily fall on one. I just don't want to put my son or dogs in that sort of position (even though I really doubt any of my dogs would react negatively if something happened, they love all my DC). My dogs spend the day in the utility room/kitchen when not out for walks and then once the youngest two are in bed, they have free run of the downstairs with us. It's not that difficult to do at all, it just requires a couple of stairgates.

look THE OP KNOWS THAT

SHE IS TRYING TO REHOME THE DOG.

WHAT ELSE DO YOU SUGGEST???

Oh, and if the dog can jump a stairgate, either train it not to, or keep the door shut as well. (or get a dog height gate if it won't jump that)

toutou where have I been arse to OP?

doin sorry I didn't realise that only the select few were allowed to post their opinions. This came up I active convos. I have small children, I like dogs, I clicked. So sue me. I'm not dog therapist, I'm a nurse, and a mother. I've grown up and loved with dogs for much of my life. All my dogs have been lovely and I miss each one.

I don't like that any numpty can own a dog (not talking about op). I am allowed an opinion, and If Oi read the thread there are a majority who feel this situation is only resolvable by removing the dog from the hope (op included). So rather than the whys and wherefores of dog psychology and trying o encourage op to work with dog against her better judgement, I was supporting her in the rehoming.

We had exactly the same problem with our male staffy. He couldnt stand my 14 year old daughter. He got anxious just being in the same room as her. There never seemed any reason for his behavior-we had had him from a puppy. We had him at the vets a few times, they found nothing wrong with him. It all came to a head when he went for her boyfriend. We then felt we had no other choice but to have him put to sleep. He couldnt be re homed. He was only 2. It was the hardest thing we have ever had to do.

No, not supportive IMHO

DO I'm sure you are able to deal with the whippet issue, as you are after so knowledgable on dog psychology. Me, I was supporting a mother who wants to keep her child safe.

Midori, the OP has already said that the dog jumps over the stairgates.
Growling is a sign that a dog doesn't like something. Consistent growling is a sign that the dog is going to snap.

Stop shouting Tantrums. I can read. The OP needs to get rid now, not drift on. I cannot believe any of you think it's okay to have a little child growled at by a dog if it approaches his/her mum.

Messtins we had the staffie that bit my exh (post upthread) put to sleep, straight away, even though pretty sure he did it because he was a rescue dog mistreated etc and my exh leaned suddenly across him and we believe he had that split second instinct to defend himself.

The rescue charity we got him from were furious as it was one of those apparently were the dog still belonged to them iykwim so we had no right really to have him pts.

But l couldnt have lived with myself if they had taken him back (they'd talked us out of it twice when we had previous problems with him - so we'd perse with behaviourists etc) and given him to someone who even had a small chance of contact with children - as you say there arent many people who can guarantee never to have contact.

Anyone is welcome to post in the Doghouse topic, it just surprises me that all of our threads are relatively quiet and only a few posters post here regularly, but whenever there is a staffy related thread hundreds of canine behaviour experts come out of the woodwork.

If there are so many doggy experts here, they should stick around and give helpful and informed replies to the more mundane topics like "How can I stop my dog chasing the cat" or "How can I get my whippet to walk in the rain, without reacting like someone is trying to muderise her slowly". There are posters here who could really benefit from their vast experience and knowledge.

Yes we clearly all said that it was a good idea to keep the dog and do nothing didn't we?

Personally I think it a shame to have the dog PTS when there could be a solution to the dogs behaviour, a way to teach the dog and the op DS to live together.

Yes, I am more than able to deal with the whippet issue, but there is more than one way to skin a cat, so to speak. Someone else might have a better way of solving the issue that does not involve me standing in torrential rain waving soggy chicken in the air.

Thing is though my advice to rehome the dog is completely nothing to do with its breed. This dog is not fitting in with the family, it is likely to be a danger to the children.

Even if it was a Yorkshire terrier is be saying rehome, if it's behaviour with the toddler was a concern.

Bloody typos!

Oh well. I expect he OP has rehomed in the time we've all taken to yell at each other. I've never noticed dog threads before. But now I know they're there mwahahaha!!

She is trying to rehome though!

LBY what do you suggest then? OP Opens her door and lets it run free?

Any practical advice except just "get rid now" when OP has said she doesnt want to have him PTS? She is looking for a rescue centre, she is being responsible, she has been a responsible dog owner and parent. Lets give the OP some credit, she has protected her DS from this obvious child eater for 20 months, a bit longer until she finds a rescue WILL BE FINE.

persevered !

doin I wouldn't mind knowing how to get my dog to walk in the rain, as opposed to sitting on the floor whimpering.

midori, it is absolutely true that she recommended him, he does some brilliant work with staffies and other breeds, including "type" dogs, I don't think he would want it advertising on here as I know they have been raided fairly recently but I know his advice was well-intended. At the time we had decided against rehoming but the problem just continues, I can't cope with it anymore in terms of my health, let alone my DS's welfare.

I know that dog aggression does not = aggression.

Keeping them separate is an issue as I feel that the dog does not have a good quality of life. It impacts on the other dog too, as she is generally shut away with him. My DS has never been in our kitchen (the dogs' domain). It is all a bit ridiculous and because DS doesn't sleep properly there are some days where the dog has no interaction other than a quick walk and receiving his food. I feel that it is unfair. I am scared for my DS, I don't want to feel stressed all the time.

I'm sorry I'm not a bigger person for not being able to cope with this but I have lived with it for almost 2 years - damned if I do, damned if I don't, I just want some help.

midori, I have checked, insurance does not cover behaviourists.

My friend conditioned her petrified of water dog with a watering can - just a slight brief spray while giving dog treats etc (preferably outside obv.) and gradually built it up to a longer spray quickly followed by fuss and treats etc. Worked a treat apparently but took about six months.

LookBehindYou, I'm assuming that the dog can't jump over closed doors? (that said, as I have said, you can train a dog not to jump stairgates, all of mine can jump the stairgates, none of them do)

A dog that consistently growls does so because it is not being listened to. You are right, that might eventually lead to a snap, but for most dogs it won't. The key here is to do something about the situation before it gets to that stage and that doesn't have to mean rehoming or killing the dog.