Dog really hates toddler DS

[TheHolyGruel]

I have posted about this before. I have two dogs (staffs) and a toddler DS who is 20mo.

My older dog (male) really dislikes my DS. He growls at him constantly and it is just getting worse. We had problems with this dog being dog aggressive but this has been overcome somewhat by walking him on a muzzle and walking the dogs separately. The dog has been checked by a vet, other than a recent worm problem (now sorted) there is nothing wrong.

We sought advice from a dog trainer/rescue person who we had a couple of sessions with. His advice re the toddler/dog situation was to put the dog down, as if something did go wrong then not only would it be a dreadful situation for us, but dreadful for staffies everywhere (another story for the papers etc, another crack in the BSL nonsense defence - I fully believe that BSL is bollocks and that the problem is not because he's a staff, but I'll talk about that in a moment). But I don't feel I can do it. In the meantime, any attempts to unite dog and DS are failing. DS is instructed to offer dog treats, to sit nicely and pet nicely, not to run up to dog, not to touch anything belonging to dog, etc. I make an effort for the dogs to be in the same room as DS as often as possible, but I am becoming worried for DS safety, as dog is really sounding at the end of his rope.

I honestly believe it is because the dog has been usurped from his position of 'first born'. The other dog displays no such issues, and is very fond of DS. The problem dog has always been the established top dog.

DH works away from home sometimes and has his biggest stint of the year coming up next month. He is away for a month, and I am petrified of how I will cope with this situation alone. It is so stressful.

In the first instance, does anyone know of a way in which I could find a foster carer for my dog, initially for this upcoming period, or is this unrealistic? He is fine with dogs smaller than himself and with older children (all children aside from DS it seems, in fact).

Can anyone offer any other advice or solutions? I think ultimately he will need rehoming, but I also know it's not that simple...

It's a woman aggressive parrot who has been left in my care, which is sensible seeing as I am a woman

I am not looking forward to feeding it later today or meeting it for the first time.

I might go and start an hysteria inducing thread in the bird cage (is there a bird cage on MN?) and await insightful and helpful replies.

oh my god, get the agressive parrot out of your house now

open the cage and let it fly away

Because there are too many of them Pumpkin and until this problem is solved we need to stop breeding more of them.

I am not saying we should eradicate them completely. Once the issue is solved and there aren't rescue upon rescue bursting at the seams with them then there is always the option to import some from other countries where they are not maligned and over bred.

There used to be good, decent staffy breeders in this country, who now choose not to breed, because of the state of staffy welfare as it is currently. I am sure that if the problem was solved, they'd happily begin breeding happy, healthy, well adjusted staffies again for the few responsible folk who adore them so.

A few general points I would like to make.

1. A dog growl is not necessarily an aggressive reaction.
2. A growl is a warning sign
3. It is the quiet dogs that attack without warning
4. I will always put my children before my dogs
5. Dogs behaviour can and is easy to change with some effort and expert qualified advice
6. When buying a dog make sure you have a plan IF things do not work out as expected. eg Keep breeders names and ensure they will have the dog back for the life time of the dog if anything changes in your situation.

7.Get the dog from a reputable rescue - they will also take the dog back if things change

1. Allow money or get insurance they will pay for behaviour assistance if required.
2. The reason I may seem narky is that if all the simple factors above had been considered that I would not have had to spend hours today trying to rehome a dog that needs rehoming on MN. Alongside the other 6 requests for rehoming today.

Maybe not Spoon, but it might cause people to think twice shelling out for one if they aren't serious about the commitment

i haven't read all of this but I used to be a paediatric nurse in an urban area. I saw many nasty dog in toddlers I'm sorry to say the majority were staffie type dogs. OP you need to wake up a child bitten by a dog is likely to be emotionally and physically scarred for life and thats the best case scenario children do die of dog attacks. Most parents say there dog "have shown no aggression towards their child" and their children are still bitten I always feel sorry for them but in your case I and my colleagues would label you as an irresponsible parent as I think would most sane parents.

You as a parent have an obligation to protect your child from danger you wouldn't move a child abuser into your house and say its OK he's behind a door or I'm always supervising them when they're together but you think its ok to have a dangerous dog in the same house as your child?? Finally in most cases we inform social services because as nurses we have a legal obligation to protect a child above everything else; is this what you want?
Its a dog (i have dogs) and I'm sure you love it but I sincerely hope that you love your DS more and therefore his welfare has to take priority over any dog. Put it down that way it will not pose a risk to any other children it comes into contact with.

Good luck with that, Dooin. My friend had a parrot when we were kids. It used to say 'closer, closer, closer' and then when you got close scream 'FUCKER!' at you then cackle in an evil manner. I bet her Dad thought he was really funny when he taught it that. Probably got wearing after the first decade or so.

Arrrgh frantically trying to stop that post. dooin not spoon, ducking phone

Haha! I want that parrot!

Herbert, it is the silent dogs that you need to watch when you're outside. But in an enclosed place a growl at a particular person is v specific and is a big warning. This dog is lovely - it's been warning for years now! How long does it have to hang on before it snaps? I would not have that in a house with a toddler at face level.

This one doesn't do that. According to my mum it 'launches itself at your face and tries to eat your eyeballs', according to my dad it 'pecks you when you try to feed it and it hurts a bit'

Seeing as she over states things drastically and he under states things drastically I am expecting it to go flipping nuts when I put my hand in to feed it and my hands will be shredded by the end of the week, but eyeballs will remain intact

I could open it's cage and let it go couldn't I? I was just gonna try and feed it grapes and other tasty tit bits and hope it starts to associate women with nice things and not terror and pain.

Obviously over reacting and doing something hysterical is far better plan

You should flap about and scream, too, DOoin. That'll really ramp up the drama.

The majority of dog bites were from staffy type dogs?

Ive got to say, I think that even though I think that might be slightly inaccurate, I tend to agree with d0oin

There are too many people breeding staffies over and over again, selling the pups to anyone with the money to pay for them.

I have had staffies, I have a 3 month old pup now (from a rescue)
My dogs have never been agressive to me, my family, my DCs, other dogs or anything at all because they were all properly trained and socialised.
But there are too many people who buy into this reputation that staffies have as aggressive, violent dogs, buy them for that reason, do not train or socialise them, keep them until they have had a litter and then dump the dog in a rescue home.

That dog is then very hard to rehome, an older untrained staffy who has not been socialised with children, pets, other dogs, people..they are to most, not a good prospect as a family pet.

And yes d0in screaming, shouting, blaming parrots for every evil known to birds and besmirching every parrot owner in the country would be much better than doing something...y'know..constructive.

"I saw many nasty dog in toddlers I'm sorry to say the majority were staffie type dogs"

This ^^ here is part of the issue with the reputation these gorgeous breed has. I have never heard of a "staffie type" breed. They do not exist, its either a staffy, or it isnt. I was bit by a scruffy rat dog when I was little, but I dont go around now saying "it was a JRT type", because it wasnt. It was a scruffy rat dog that looked like a JRT, but it wasnt a JRT.

oh bollocks. The point is that it's a dog that IF it kicks off will wreak considerable damage. What would the bichon frises do? Savage your ankle?

They don't have the same jaw. But if a labrador owner posted the same problem I would give them the same opinion.

hairy it's amazing how many dogs are staffy types

Apparently it means every "dangerous" dog.

Funnily enough we had a poodle when I was 6.
It was the nastiest, snappiest dog I've ever come across, it used to bite everyone's ankles, growl, pull on its lead, corner people and not let them leave the room.

My staffies on the other hand walk by my side, always come back when I call, sit, stay, leave etc and have never so much as shown their teeth to anyone. They come to work with me and play happily with the other dogs there.
But apparently they are a dangerous type

LBY, so what to do? Ban all SBTs because they cause more damage than a Bichon Frise? Ban all Labs because they can cause more damage than a JRT? Ban all JRTs because they cause more damage than a gerbil? Ban all gerbils because they cause more damage than a stick insect?

My fluffy little ball of terror also has big teeth and jaws that regularly grind through bone with ease.

Maybe he is a 'staffy type' What do you think? Staffy type?

Tantrums that poodle must have been a staffy type dog then

I once had a policeman show a bit of an interest in my SBT "ooh he looks like hes got some pitbull in him", I said "hes a she for a start so forgive me if I dont take your powers of observation that seriously"

and then hurried off as I realised I had been a cheeky twat to a policeman

Given that people are the ones that have the responsibility to train these dogs, maybe we should just ban people instead?

Let no one be allowed to own any type of dog?

And FWIW my staffy (and that is staffy, not staffy type) will grab onto things and hold on tight...and then let go when I say drop it

So the lock jaw bs is irrelevant.