You know you have a dog when...

[mrsfred]

...at six o'clock on a Friday evening, dark and p**ing down with rain, you feel the need to go out for a walk.

...and a pocket of every coat you own has a little black plastic bag in it, and possibly a mouldering tennis ball.

very true lurcherlover. And treats, don't forget the treats

haha very very true.

...and pulling the occasional short black hair out of your beef stew no longer fills you with horror....

If I pulled a short black hair out of my stew Bella I'd be horrified ... my dog is red

There is a drawer in my kitchen I can only open at certain times of day, or with ridiculous stealth, because it makes the dog go utterly nuts (his poobags and lead are in it).

When you open the fridge and take out the cheese,a nd the dog knows, even if it's int the next room. How does it know it's the cheese?

when you open a banana and the dog is by your side. drooling - despite having been at the other end of the house seconds ago!

You drop food on the floor and dont even bother looking, as you know it will be hoovered up in seconds.
Then you do it at someone else's house out of sheer habit, and just look very rude

when your dog knows the command Sit, Down, Stay and err... Hoover!

You want to but a Barbour jacket

(Sorry had one years ago and now having a black lab pup has urged me to get a new one !)

Perhaps some Hunter wellies as well

... you're picking up warm poo from the street and carrying it around with you in a bag.

(Exactly WHO would appear to be the master were an alien looking down at man and dog?)

They allways know it's cheese!
You buy a new pair of hiking boots every year. And wear them out.

You go to get the baby wipes from the other side of the kitchen, hear giggling and turn around - to find a suspiciously clean baby and a innocent looking labrador lying down in the vicinity.

You don't want to move to answer the phone cause the dog is asleep sprawled all over you

There are lots of people you meet on your walks and you know them by the name of their dogs....

you get ridiculously excited about buying a volvo estate!

you get more excited about shopping for collars and leads than for clothes and shoes

you empty the cardboard recycling bin onto the kitchen floor in case you are out for more than 3 hours.

you go out with spaniel height slobber marks on your trousers without noticing.

the walk to the shops is 5 mins sans dog and 20 with - because everybody stops to chat and make fuss of dog.

you perform amazing feats of bladder control so you can get out of bed, get your crocs and bathrobe on, go downstairs, greet the dogs, find the keys and let the dogs out for a wee. Cos you wouldn't want them to wait

you constantly tread on wet patches on the carpet! OOh and you get ridiculously excited when your pup has a solid poo!

your dog walking friend asks for a large bath towel at school drop off... for her filthy, puddle laying dog. She knows that I always have old towels and bottles of water hanging around my car.

You spend your first, ever child free morning (dd2 has started nursery) shopping - for Kong toys I'm sure there used to be a time in my life when I shopped for shoes, coats, bags.

Although that could just have been new puppy excitement

you are on first name terms with the local pet shop owner .

Anything remotely edible is glued to the ceiling. Our pup has eaten 3 tubs of face cream this week. Yum yum

You have children that are meticulous about tidying away their toys (after various traumatic chewing-related toy losses).