MAFSAus 2026 Thread 5. NO SPOILERS PLEASE. Romcoms, Double Denim and Flapjack Envy.

[dapsnotplimsolls]

Enjoy.

The bisexual’s husband looks like he should be wearing a vest in an 80’s band like Climie Fisher or Go West or Huey Lewis and the News.

Oh Lordy, why did you go there.

I’m going to have nightmares tonight now.

I know someone who was sat next to BoJo at a dinner party. She was mightily unimpressed by being propositioned by the not-as-charming-as-he-likes-to-think-he-is fat oaf. Rather grubby was the verdict.

Jules is just honouring her own process okay!!?!?!

They remind me of Belinda and Whatshisame, the virgins.

DS said he looks like a Canadian curler

Chris is realising he is married to a biatch…

He is..

Don’t need to know about the hour long plus full body massages Filip!

Why would they be drug tested? It’s not the Olympics.

Don't bring your nan into it 😂🤣

Exactly, and coke is everywhere now, never mind tv studios

Jules called out the bullies; go girl

Julia was blindsided a bit there!

Brook is just vile and I cant even see her friend ship with cock and balls lasting.

🤣

😂🤣🤢

Oh my gaahhd, thank you for pointing this out!!

I do hate the way they are pressurised into being more 'intimate' then they are ready for.

I can't remember who Julia's partner is! I feel a bit sorry for both of them, they look good together but it isn't a good match at all.

Quite a lot to unpack in that episode:

• RomCom + Farmer: John: “We saw two different Mels at the dinner party” - Oh no, John, there are many more Mel’s - e.g. Stalker Mel!

• Foxes (turned Weasel v Fox): Mrs Fox’s Best Paddington Stare at Weasel when ixperts said (to Charismas?) you have to lean into your partner. He’s dull AF and was deffo hoping for younger.

• Knob Nose + Scott: You can’t unsee it. Scott’s just enjoying the sex, obvs. Why no quizzing of DC name?

• Bec + Horsey Habsburg: Deffo giving pity shags. He constantly looks clammy.

• Heehaw + Boaty McBoatface: Sitcom laugh. He’s tres uncomf - virgin or gay or both?

• Brook + Chris: Mean and bitter. She’s making him look like Mr Nice-and-Tactful.

• Charismas: Oh dear, she will NOT like that. Him: lights are on but no one’s home. Does he know what day it is or where he is? Did you know she’s bi?

• Paul + Alissa: Can’t forgive her for the knee thing. Both seem sound.

• Stella + Filip Felop: Fair play to her. Not sure she’s that into him (Uncle Joe’s words ringing in her ears) but giving it a good go, as she says.

Ixpert Mel vogueing it tonight - verdant in her green 😭

Darn I watched later and then read this thread so have yet to see knob nose!

I don't think Mel is really going to try, she doesn't seem like she is ready to let go of her perfect match criteria.

It’s very bad they do that. Worst bit of psychologically unsafe charade show.

Totally agree. She has her age and looks now but she's not going to age well at all. Another 10 years time the outside will match her ugly inside