MAFS UK Thread #3. Lips, nips and crystal tips. Washerwomen Feminists. It's almost time for a dinner party! NO SPOILERS.

[Dillite2]

I hope nobody minds, but since I saw "lips, nips and crystal tips" in one of the comments, I just had to make it into a thread.

What can he do to make you fancy him?

They asked.

Lose weight and get some tattoos.

She said.

Because saying I think you’re a pain in the arse is frowned upon

Again, she is entitled to find things about someone attractive or unattractive. But her being attracted to tall muscley men and not attracted to annoying fat men is no better or worse than a guy being attracted to short blondes. But that's not acceptable either for some reason.

And yes Emma was a lovely person, but if Casper had said she needs to lose weight and then we can talk he would have been strung up.

But he’d also need to stop being a massive nobhead.

Anyone else worried about whether groom Paul has dementia? His lack memory seems to be a bit worrying, especially as he has to use notes at home too and has tattoos to remember his kids’ names and DOB!

Tbf, “Care Bear” absolutely nailed it.

I can't imagine many fat men apply for a start, because why the hell would you?

Not everyone finds fatness a turn-off. Just saying.

And also, I think whether Emma was fat is a subjective question. I personally saw her as generously proportioned rather than fat.

Exactly, she wasn't as big as Dean and explained she had tried to lose weight and it was a struggle for her and she had spent a long time getting comfortable with it. Casper did say he couldn't fancy her because of her weight. Repeatedly. Emma kept trying and showed him she was a catch for multiple reasons including her personality. Dean is only trying to show off his "skills" to the camera as a Red Coat.

Dean also seems to be the one bringing up his weight, to Sarah off screen a lot too. At the dinner party it was him telling people about "never been with anyone bigger" which he had asked her yet he made out as if she said it off the cuff. Sarah can't win.

Nah

No, Paul just gives no shits for anyone else and what they might have to say, so he can't be bothered to ask or remember.

I know the show has very dubious screening processes re unstable people but surely putting someone with incipient dementia in the lions den would be too far even for them.

I agree, he's making out it's a memory thing but it's a giving a shit thing.
Usually people who want to avoid talking about their own past ask lots of questions of the other person, but he seems to have lost this ability and has instead opted for slapstick humour (rolling eyes, snapping teeth, slapping his head, wide eyed stare) as a route out of any meaningful chat. When that doesn't work he word salads' the question back at whoever asked it.

From what I remember Caspar repeatedly said Emma’s size was one of the reasons he wasn’t attracted to her. I think he agreed she was a lovely woman but he simply didn’t ‘fancy’ her. Not really any different to Sarah simply not fancying Dean, though obviously his personality isn’t helping! But no matter how lovely Emma was, Casper couldn’t change how he felt, which isn’t unreasonable. It would be much worse to string someone along believing they’ll see past it when they truly cannot. If my DH put 3 stone on now I’d be okay with it, I’ve been with him for 25 years and have that long term bond, but if he’d been 3 stone heavier when I met him I doubt I’d have dated him. Because I’m just not attracted to fat men and at the outset that’s what you’re going off.

True, he is manipulating the narrative a little...

Emma also was too like Caspar’s sister for him. It wasn’t just about weight.

But Caspar was overweight too. He said in his intro videos that women rejected him for being overweight. You can hardly insist upon getting paired with a Victoria’s Secret model if you aren’t a Calvin Klein underwear model yourself.

Dean and Sarah remind me of Bob and Meghan. Meghan was tired of Bob’s cringey over-silliness on Day 1 of the honeymoon.

That's very true and a totally legitimate ick. She really really was.

Ah, but... the much replayed soundbite was that Casper said he didn't fancy 'curvy girls', remember the clip where Emma told her friends that and they all recoiled like he was a complete bastard. 'You can't say that!' they chirped at him. And then for the next six weeks Casper was made to feel like a piece of shit for having dared spoken 'those words'. Not because he thought she looked too much like his sister (which is also a valid point).

I mean I'm sorry but I can't imagine Dean's friends reacting like that can you? They'd probably all agree and say he's a lard-arse and needs to sort himself out...

My point is Sarah shouldn't be expected to get over it and fancy him or face the wrath of the judges for being fattist. I just think Casper was treated unfairly. And he really was made to feel like an arsehole week after week... wasn't he?

Caspar didn’t have a leg to stand on, being of the curvy persuasion himself. Pot and kettle and all that.

No. I would find effeminate men really unattractive despite being very feminine myself!

I know Emma gets a lot of love on here, but I found her annoying as hell.

Oh come on. That’s not what we’re comparing here. DH and I both cook healthy meals, he runs marathons, and I do Peloton. Equally yoked. Caspar and Emma were equally yoked. Maybe she was too like his sister—ick; fair enough. The feminine/masculine comparison doesn’t work for heterosexual relationships.

I think Robyn is saying curvy women get treated differently on the show and on here to obese men. There's a disparity in how we view Emma vs Dean.
For Robyn it is solely about weight and size the rest of the traits aren't important.

Most of us we can see Dean's whole personality is at play in Sarah's ick and that his try hard "LOOK AT ME" attitude is wearing on her. He also doesn't seem to be listening to her when she asks him not to do things like rapping, so he isn't exactly trying very hard to be someone she wants to date. It really isn't hard NOT to get the whole table waving their arms to a rap you've created for the first dinner party to make sure you are once again the main character. Most people just sit, chat and eat.

I'm just saying that Caspar doesn't have to fancy curvy women just because he's curvy himself.
it's probably a losing battle for him, but there you go

I met my DH when he was 21 stone. Didn't fancy him but I did like him. He was funny and charming and really clever. We stayed in touch. When he posted on Facebook three years later that he'd lost weight I suddenly surprised myself by realising I did fancy him.

We got together 18 months later when he was 19 stone. He's now just over 16 stone and still gradually losing. But my god, I fancy him so much.

My point is that it's not the weight. Sarah just doesn't fancy him. And Dean asking the question about being with bigger men shows his insecurity about why women might not fancy him.

Am I being unreasonable to wonder if they paired Sarah with Dean to see if she would like a "nice guy" and also brought in Joe to see if there's an attraction there?