Virgin Island

[lunaswand]

Will anyone actually be watching this? I keep seeing trailers for it & can't believe this sort of show is going to be shown on tv, i'm not a prude & love trashy tv but surely this is a step way too far?

I haven’t watched but reading here am really surprised it was made unless they are all actors.

I’m sure they have all had MH assessment and there is aftercare. However I can just imagine the insurers and lawyers looking at this and the risk to mental health in the future. I don’t think a member of public can sign over to say that there is no liability in England (though maybe I’m wrong.)

Any guesses what Zac did for Kat to end the session? Or do you think it’s just editing to get us to watch next week?

I’m finding the partner surrogates fascinating and I like how Ben thanked Kat for her class biology lesson because as he said, she did it to help them.

It might be just to get us to watch! I mean programmes often do that don't they!
But we'll see

As a virgin older than these people I watched intrigued and I definitely would not do this and feel this is exploitative. This would be my absolute last choice on how to lose my virginity on TV, being made a show of and whilst I get the anatomical education would be helpful it feels very demeaning and child like.

It feels like each episode is a task which is laying them bare and open to mockery, for exercises that i feel offer little benefit.

It wouldn't have got the audience but I think it would have been better to focus the programme around sexually inexperienced people ( not virgins) and those with body issues/ trauma affecting adult relationships

Virgin through choice? If not, what would have helped you do you think?
I ve never understood how those who hate their bodies appear on tv like this though.

To want to have sex you also have to be attracted to the person, and what if they simply aren't attracted to the surrogates, I mean there's a massive age difference for starters but fancying someone is also a personal thing regardless of the age.

Interesting about the one who realised she's a lesbian and she realised she's simply not attracted to men at all. I am straight but this reminded me of when I've gone on dates with men who I've viewed as purely platonic and tried to make something more out of it and realised I just see them as a friend. This isn't my view of all men though and I have gone out with and slept with men who I have fancied of course.

But it made me think that she's 29 so it's quite old to be coming to the realisation that she isn't attracted to men at all isnt it and she's never wondered before that she might be lesbian?!

@Sunshine386 to be fair, she started out saying she was bisexual but didn't seem to have much experience with men or women

"Surrogate partner"? What the blazes! And the therapist snogging one of the "contestants" too. Totally yeuck.

Well I'm up to episode 2 now and will end it there for now. Why are the female therapists heavy breathing and saying "yeahhh" when caressing the male "contestants?" Pretending to be turned on.

Haven't seen a female contestant be "touched" yet. Surely it is all put on. They can't do that with everyone. What if the person was really smelly and you were totally turned off by them?! Very uncomfortable and gross actually.

@eyebleacheurgh I get you wouldn’t want to do this on tv but what about with a therapist who also uses a surrogate partner?

I think if you’ve never been touched intimately, I can see how it could be helpful to get some training on that before you meet someone you really fancy but are too afraid to approach.

it’s usually true that the unknown is way scarier than reality and we build things up in our head to be bigger or worse than they really are. I can see someone benefiting from all this, just not on tv! But voyeurism aside I truly hope it’s helping other scared virgins.

I’m finding it quite interesting. Agree we’re starting to see another side to Zak. His list of compliments was very ill judged. The therapists are very “these people are sex people, Lynn” with their man buns and tattoos and yoga pants.

Ben has written a blog about the experience, which he said he found very helpful.

Just watched the most recent episode. I am still a bit stunned about what they are showing on TV but found it fascinating regarding how they felt getting naked. Their confidence or lack of was completely unrelated to how they actually looked. Although I’m not sure anyone would be comfortable doing that.
The preview of next episode of sex therapist with Zac is scary. She looked really uncomfortable. I wonder what he has said or done.
But I love the way the other couple were laughing together about the one who climaxed early. That must be a real worry for older male virgins.

I can’t believe anyone with low confidence would do this. I think that some of them are lying just to get on the TV.

I think this programme is fairly well done so far and I can see it would be very instructive for the young people on the show. I feel like the surrogate partners are very sensitive with the young people’s feelings but the age gap might be a thing. All of them seem to have body issues which is sad and I’m sure is a result of social media/instagram.

Zac creeps me out a bit. I wonder if he watches too much porn.

which ones? All of them seem to lack confidence or social skills to me.

I understand what posters are saying about the age gap between the surrogate partners and virgins but I think we would probably be more uncomfortable if the surrogates were very young themselves!

The average age of most therapists I.e. counsellors tends to be middle aged. I don't know anything about these surrogate therapists but perhaps it's similar to that where its usually a career for the middle aged, not something a young person would go into.

They also have to deal with people who are not comfortable with touch with anybody and to help them get them comfortable. I think there's a lot of psychological issues going on with the women in particular around sex and not being comfortable with it. For the men it seems to be more about not being comfortable approaching women and taking the lead.

Just turned over to watch - have missed the last few episodes. Oh, my word. Which one is Zak?

Edit: I know who is now.

😮

I just finished it all. I don't know what to think tbh. In some ways I thought it was wonderful, and really helped these people - then I swing to its exploitative and goes against every guideline for therapy (Im a therapist myself). I thought it was as exploitative for the 'sexual counsellor' (was that the term?) as it was for the client. It felt like glorifified prostitution. I mean how is it helping when you aren't actually in an intimate relationship with that person - they are doing it for money on a timer? That would not feel good for either party I feel - or maybe the sex counsellors feel great about it? The age gap as well concerned me. I feel there is a power imbalance.

The end scene though was very moving I won't lie. But still - it really has thrown me and I don't know what I think!

I haven't watched the last two episodes just read about them online. And saw a dodgy clip..
I know what you mean about the practical sexual stuff, it is weird viewing.
But then I think there would be loads more virgins and inexperienced people if a big percentage of young people didn't go on dates/ parties/ school and kiss and more while drunk or being unsure and aren't in a relationship with said people.
I was a late virgin. Probably reason is I was too cautious when in late teens/ 20s and just never wanted to go all the way. But most people just had more alcohol and didn't worry...
I don't think saying no to sex is a bad thing. But it's seen as so weird. It's almost pointless to be in the dating game in your 20s if your not ready or up for it.
It's complicated for sure!

In the end, I felt quite conflicted by it. I actually think it was well intentioned, and not the voyeuristic rubbish i’d expected. But there seemed to be a real culture clash between the poised, super cool and generally attractive therapists and the awkward, shy and generally not very attractive contestants. It was like California meets Croydon.

And although they were all fairly positive about the outcome I doubt any of them really derived much benefit. For the guy who did end up losing his virginity it must have seemed terribly transactional, rather like losing one’s virginity to a prostitute, and the way he left, like he was leaving a shop where he’d just bought a newspaper, simply confirmed that impression.

But I was genuinely moved by a lot of the contestants, who seemed to be kind and gentle people for the most part. I do hope they did take something positive from the experience and that they can find the happiness they deserve.

I thought it was interesting and yes, quite moving. I’d hope all the stuff about touch and body confidence and intimacy will help them.

The surrogate partner thing was weird and I couldn’t get my head round it. Kat seemed fond of (and maybe even slightly attracted to) Dave (who was quite good looking with a sweet personality) but seemed quite cold and transactional with Zak, even after they got over their rift. Perhaps that was just the edit.

I’m always fascinated by how these things are made and the editing choices. We saw very little of some of the virgins compared to others, and very little of the women with intimacy partners.

Dave seemed like a sweet guy who was prepared to engage with the process and fortunately had some kind of connection with the therapist. Not sure we needed the sound effects with the view of crashing waves though!

I see at the end of the programme the message was that four more of them had lost their virginity since the making of the programme. If true then maybe this 'therapy' helped them get over their reticence or gave them some more body confidence or techniques to use. Still not sure why the heck they wanted to do this on national TV!

Some of the participants weren't featured much at all and I wondered if they could veto the filming. Maybe some just had a more interesting 'journey' as they like to say. Most of them seemed like nice people who had this blockage in their lives they wanted to get past. Slightly icky viewing at times and I was hoping it would have greater insights into the psychology of the issue and the difference in male/female sexual experiences.

There's one more episode to go isn't there? Or was Monday's the last one?