Virgin Island

[lunaswand]

Will anyone actually be watching this? I keep seeing trailers for it & can't believe this sort of show is going to be shown on tv, i'm not a prude & love trashy tv but surely this is a step way too far?

I meant what if the virgins don't find the therapists attractive? The therapists are in their 50s, the virgins were in their 20s and early 30s. They're not automatically going to be sexually attracted in every case, which is an obstacle when they're trying to experience sexual desire and act on it.

I pressed Play hoping that it would be addressing any psychological issues first and foremost, as I know a number of young adults (22/23/24) who have failed to launch in the relationship area. I’ve always put this down to covid, scary porn putting off young people by leading them to believe sex=pain, the ever increasing number of young people with social anxiety.
Disappointed to find it’s mainly just about touch this, touch that. And one of the clips from further along in the series looked plain alarming.
i suppose that if you are late 20s and looking for a partner of a similar age it’s likely that partner will be more experienced, so perhaps you might need a wee bit of a roadmap. But I’m not sure a fortnight on an island with a load of aging ‘sex people’ is the answer.

I turned on the telly last night and this was on, near the end of the episode. There was the larger guy lying down being touched by the 'surrogate partner', and then they swapped, and he stopped and said something like he wanted more. I just shuddered. How are these surrogate partners not just prostitutes???! And all on TV? How much are they going to show? What even is this programme! Channel 4 has some right creeps making their programmes.

Yes, exactly. She said something like "later" or "next time" suggesting she will shag him. But, if she had real sexual attraction to him, they'd have just shagged then. There's so much potential to mess people up here. Make people feel there's a "connection" when this is purely transactional. Some of the "virgins" would have got the same experience just going to Amsterdam for the weekend. It would at least not be on tv for your family and friends to know about it. No beach holiday though.

It's an absolute minefield. Why would you want to do this on TV? I can't decide if they're brave or foolish. What's also awkward is the pairing up the participants to do exercises in touch, massage etc when perhaps one has an attraction to the other but they're not receptive - that's veering into reality dating shows. It could compound the feelings of low esteem some of them have and really affect the dynamics of the group. However, the alternative is working with a much older 'therapist' where the power imbalance is evident even if done with kindness. It's all a bit unsettling tbh!

I wonder if it's been pointed out to these participants that when they find a relationship & have children in the future that this will be out there for all to see

It's just horrible, I wonder how many complaints they have had

Surely they can’t be actual property qualified and registered therapists if they’re getting this hands-on? Thought that was a big “no”.

It feels very exploitative.

It is uncomfortable viewing but they are brave to be on it. I watched 2 episodes and it does feel wrong to be watching such intimate interactions and feelings. Not sure if I will watch anymore.

I noticed the lady with Zak had lots of self harming scars on her arms 😞

I haven’t watched this but there was a programme a few years ago about 2 adults who were virgins and too scared to have sex. They used hands on sex therapists to introduce them to it. The male client was successful but the female not. I’ll try and find the title and when it was shown

Do you mean the therapist person?

This was the program
https://metro.co.uk/2013/03/26/channel-4-documentary-showing-40-year-old-virgins-having-sex-comes-under-fire-3560441/
although the woman was only 29 years old

It was in 2013. Bit odd to repeat the concept. Must have thought that in 12 years it would be more accepted

The one that laid Zak down then she laid down.

I found it uncomfortable watching as in these are vulnerable people and I felt it was all a bit manipulative. I won’t watch it again and we turned it off half way through

I'm going to continue watching to see how it pans out

Oh yes, I remember this one. I thought both candidates failed to have sex in the end.

I wonder if the clients state their preferred "therapists"? You couldn't be expected to do this stuff with someone you didn't feel any sexual attraction to, surely? Which makes it all seem even more damaging. Or maybe it won't be and some of them will love it.

I put it in out of curiosity because I wanted to see what kind of people would sign up for such a show and how the therapists could help.

I find it all really odd. The tasks of touching someone etc…. I’m sorry but that’s nonsense as it’s nothing like being in a situation where you’re attracted to someone organically. I hate strangers touching me and it’s nothing like when my DH holds my hand etc… it’s like night and day.

That lust feeling after the build up of a connection with someone is addictive and not something that can happen with any random person. That initial spark and attraction is what makes is so great and it can’t be replicated so I almost feel sorry for the participants as it’s not going to be the great experience they’d hoped. It’ll be a physical act with no emotional connection and particularly for the women, will be shit.

Tbh I'm so sick of that degenerate channel, and how it promotes lewd, sordid programming and is constantly pushing societal boundaries.

It's bad enough that they're taking an active role in deteriorating standards but they relentlessly promote it on morning tv. I don't know why tf they aren't forced to keep their perverted little promos closer to the watershed.

totally agree @TheBlueUniform I'm finding it all quite weird and can't really tell if the therapists are making all those noises because they're actually enjoying it or just playing the role of a partner. It's all very odd and feels quite wrong. It's like going for a sports massage with a physiotherapist is nothing like if DP gets the baby oil out and massages my back!

I’m going to buck the trend here and say that I’m happy watching this. Yes there will be people who watch to judge and scoff but I’m watching with empathy. I may be getting on in years but I still remember the pressures of being a virgin.

At first I was a little uncomfortable about the therapists but I’m sure there’s a lot more going on behind the scenes than we see with safe guarding and they all seem to be assigned a mental health person too. Everyone is consenting.

To see some of the lads go from stiffening up just at the thought of a hug to gaining confidence and the relaxed posture and stroking hair etc I thought was quite endearing.

Charlotte telling one of the lads his stretch marks are ugly was a prime example of how easy it is for someone to have a negative experience, lose all confidence and remain a virgin for as long as they have.

Charlotte telling one of the lads his stretch marks are ugly was a prime example of how easy it is for someone to have a negative experience, lose all confidence and remain a virgin for as long as they have

What? I missed that comment. How awful and she's meant to be a 'therapist'?

Doesn’t feel appropriate.

I lost my virginity at 32, very intentionally but it was different - I met a guy on a hook up app, we had a bit of a connection, arranged to meet 2 days later for the purposes of hooking up - and went to the cinema together. I knew I was going back to his, but it was all just lovely and exciting - and private, I only told my aunty where I was going - rang her in front of him and gave her his address.

He didn’t know that I had been abused in childhood and assaulted in my twenties and was terrified. Heart palpitations walking into his house from utter fear and disbelief. I told him I was a bit anxious, that was all. Thankfully he was very sex positive and also very ‘safe’ …

It turned out to be one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life - luckily - but I can’t imagine any of that being televised. It feels like an incredibly private thing, I wouldn’t want the whole country knowing my face and knowing I’d experienced sexual trauma, or seeing my face during sex!! I was having NHS trauma focused therapy at the time - literally 12 hours later funnily enough, and we did discuss it but that felt OK, safe and not intrusive!