Masterchef #3

[GrandTheftWalrus]

Carry on here chuffians!

And we've still got the woman who insisted of making her own themed plates to come.

(I actually like Louise.)

Oh Viques! They'll be next to the sous vide water bath and the pasta maker.

If you want to hurt someone flick them with a tea towel. It’s very painful. (4 brothers)

Jonty keeps going on about dishes not being wet enough. Perhaps his saliva glands have been botoxed to buggery.

I hate eggy, curdled brûlée.

Oh grown arsed women in pig tails. Bet she wears those play school dungarees too.

Surely your crème brûlée being “a little bit curdled” is like being a little bit pregnant. Curdled is curdled.

Nooooo, Leeeeeee.

You should have made a takeaway.

Totally up for the invite em back concept now.

Oh dear, even her cheekbones couldn’t save Vera.

In fact Vera, Lee and Aaron were all nice.

Not Vera she was one of the star cooks. Courgettes are wet you idiot man.

Sorry to see Vera go.

I’m needing coffee and a slice of polenta cake.
Wanky chef alert.

I'm Team Tom now. Just here for the accent.

'What's occurring?'

Open fire

Now, Nessa on Masterchef would be worth a watch. Fag ash in the jus.

First place I looked. Nada. Might be in the Madeleine tin or possibly the coconut grater.

Cekeryack carbonara!

Oh no celeriac

Take the celeriac and toss it in bin

Have they made this dish just to allow us to mock Jonty?

Celery ack in a carbonara! No wonder that prat Coren liked it.

If he had hair the chef would look like the actor who plays the scout leader in Ghosts.

Giles Conran!
Really hope he's mispronounced Giles Coren - the GC'll be livid 😂