Sort your life out BBC1

[Ulysees]

New thread in case there isn't one?

I assumed she was some sort of locum hygienist or in a group of surgeries and works in different places rather than having multiple jobs.

Poor woman was emotionally battered

He’s a cock in RL too, one of our friends lives in the same street.

If she was a locum, and he got a decent Civil Service shared paternity leave payment, that might explain why her own ML was short.
Lovely family but what was with the BBQ in the bedroom?

First time they'd been to Scotland too.

I think sometimes it’s better to donate stuff rather than put it on Vinted or eBay.

I left a pile of baby clothes for weeks because I was “putting them on Vinted” finally got round to it and didn’t get any interest. Sometimes you value the space more than the tiny bit of money you’d get from selling online. Not forgetting your time to then go and post said item.

😕It did seem like the Keith show didn’t it?
I don’t think it matters if he did get decent paternity leave, she’d only just had a baby. He did come across as someone who ‘wanted in’ on the time off rather than understanding the physiological or psychological effects giving birth has on a woman. If he did he’d have put his big boy pants on, fucking tidied up and gone back to work. At 12 weeks post partum I probably looked like I was coping on the surface but I absolutely was shell shocked. Even the usually mild-mannered Stacey was giving him the side-eye. ‘Pulling t shirts?” Dear god. Yes he’d had some knocks in life, but haven’t we all at some point? I cannot get my head around choosing to have three kids none of whom could see their own beds because their Dad had decided this was how they were going to live. It was far from Mum’s choice, poor woman.

God yes, absolutely this!

I think we did see the living room when the team walked round the house before they met the family.

I felt so sorry for Charlie and the children - Keith was useless - filling their home with clutter and 'things', and turning it into a shit hole 😡 I did maternity leave with a very disabled toddler and a EBF newborn and didn't fill the cot and beds with crap 😡😡

I hope the transformation lasts. He did not come across well on the programme. Neither did the ex husband last week or the gardener that kept all his suits and ties in a previous show 😡😡

This show does seem to highlight how many women live/have lived with such completely selfish men.
I must admit, I did wonder what Charlie was getting from this relationship - a bankrupt layabout seems to be the answer.

That ex husband was an arse. The other two blokes Tim and Keith were hanging on to stuff for mental health reasons and feeling inadequate. The other one, Darren, was just a cheating gaslighting twat.

I wonder how much family money Keith has spent on his hoarded silver and his clothes and his unused tools?

I got the impression this was the final chance for Charlie - a breakdown or a walkout looked on the cards, otherwise.

But I'm struck by how much distress lies beneath the surface in all these stories - the mess is the tip of the iceberg.

Over all the series the last few years we've seen people coping with ADHD, disability, having come to a strange country with nothing, infertility, bereavement, infidelity, bankruptcy etc.

This process, although it must be incredibly freeing, can be traumatic as we so often see from the tears and the reluctance. Desperation and family conflict makes terrific telly, as this week's award for the show proves. Much as I enjoy SYLO, I do hope the families get some kind of ongoing professional support from the BBC and they're not just left with their homes reset but their below the surface issues still going on.

I have also been wondering how the selling side of things works. I'm currently trying to flog a few bits and pieces online and on local selling groups and it's quite slow going, so I can't imagine how you'd sell all that stuff that they put in the piles on this show. I wish there was someone on MN who'd been on it, would be a great AMA!

I thought it quite strange that underneath all the stuff were what seemed perfectly clean and new carpets, paint and wallpaper. Had they just moved in? Or was it staged?

I would also love to see some catchups from a year later, to see if people manage to keep it up. I hope so!

We felt sorry for the older girl (the dancer) on last week’s episode. She really wanted to have a good clear out but the mum wouldn’t let her and made her hold on to junk. Sadly I can foresee the house being a tip again quite quickly, with the exception of the older girl’s bedroom.

edit to add - I think some PPs are being quite harsh on the ex husband. Yes, the garage contained a lot of his stuff but that didn’t explain why the rest of the house was top to toe with clutter and mess? That wasn’t his fault, as much as the mum tried to make out it was.

The mum had adhd I think and was working two jobs after her h fucked off. He promised to make the kids a dance studio in the garage and then didn't bother - just pissed off and left his crap on the garage instead.

I think some PPs are being quite harsh on the ex husband

Let’s face it, saying you don’t love your partner any more then leaving and suddenly finding a new partner after a few weeks doesn’t usually scream “straightforward, honest person”.

I think that was in the nick Knowles one. It's was the same program just on a different channel with different presenters

Absolutely, I'm not saying he was an angel. But the mum was trying to lay the blame for the mess on him, which wasn't fair. He's moved out years ago, there was no reason for the house to be in such a state. I felt so sorry for the girls.

I am also struck by the distress beneath all the clutter. All the couples seem to be average and sometimes low earners - so much money spent on stuff. Someone needs to tell Keith that there is no additional value in those coins - just the value of silver from which they were minted - collecting them for the children or collecting them for himself - along with the Tshirts, power tools...I suspect he will just start new collections.

I thought she made it pretty clear why the house was in a state. Emotional distress, suspected ADHD, two children to look after (both with SN), a job. I don’t think it’s very surprising that she hadn’t got much further with it.
Personally I’m a bit of an unsentimental neat freak but I don’t find it difficult to see why people get stuck and overwhelmed.

There was a declutter program with a psychotherapist a while back.
The hoarders usually had distressing trauma in their past. One woman had a whole room full and at the bottom of it all was a photo of her dead husband. She piled stuff on it to hide it. Not consciously. I found it so interesting.

I was a bit shocked by the mum and two daughters episode as it was like looking at my own life (so, so many similar details). My extended family is very neurodiverse but I’ve always been cast as the ‘coper’ and the NT one. Obv I have got this far in life without realising but I find my job very overwhelming and have recently been told I’m performing below expectation. It’s like all the tabs are open and I just jump from one thing to another. I recognise that I need to declutter at home but controlling stbx DP sabotages everything (inc emptying out bin bags)

luckily I have private health ins at work so will see if I can find out what’s going on

@AlligatorActually best wishes to you. Tell ex to eff off!

I agree that the men recently have been awful. Keith this week was a lazy knob.

Are Dilly and Stacey friends in real life? I hope it's not just for show as they both seem like lovely women and look close.