Sort your life out BBC1

[Ulysees]

New thread in case there isn't one?

Definitely felt different without Dilly. All very cobbled together. But I think they are the one family (person!) who has been most resistant to letting go. Pointless going on the programme in that case!

@Putthefuckingthingsaway I feel like that about my parents house. It wasn't too bad growing up but the hoarding my mum does is beyond despair. My dad was talking about wanting to recarpet a few areas, but in order to do that there is so much that would need to be moved and I can just hear his thoughts on that. I sadly don't think their house will ever be what they want it to be as they are mid to late 70s now and that makes me sad. Especially for my dad. He has done so much of the work on the house getting it to what they want.

This weeks episode did feel a bit flat and they so needed Dilly. I hope she is ok. Mum needed so much more help but she was also an awesome person to work how she did, with a baby at 17, to buy the house at 20. They seemed such a close family and I hope they will get through this and have the house they deserve.

@Putthefuckingthingsaway Your post really resonated with me - so many of the same experiences. We rarely had people round; to be fair, my single mum had 3 kids in a tiny 2-bed flat, plus was a hoarder as we were pretty poor so she kept everything. But it meant I felt a lot of secrecy and shame about our home and family. I now have a beautiful home, which brings me a lot of joy, and is pretty well-ordered (but not compulsively so). And I love watching SYLO but sometimes it makes me feel pretty sad, as it's a bit too close to home. But I enjoy watching the transformations and I hope that, for some of them, it is genuinely life-changing.

Oh bless you and your poor Mum.

I think I’m so angry about the situation even now and my parents have both passed because I had such a lovely hardworking Dad and my Mother was such a difficult person to live with - a total narcissist who would denounce women who kept nice houses as ‘houseproud’ as a pejorative term. Her life could’ve been so different if she’d only counted her blessings and embraced what she had. She would only befriend people in lower socio economic circumstances as I think it made her feel superior about her own situation but it was a difficult upbringing. Middle class neglect is not really talked about, but I was aware even in Primary School that it wasn’t normal for a parent not to ensure that their children were not freshly dressed or clean. I did not have a frequent bedding change for example and there was no concept of ‘one on, one in the wash’. In my later years I collected my School records and it was clear that Teachers had noticed that all was not well at home which again made me quite sad. My Mother would not have reacted well to intervention - she would have removed me from the school rather than address the issues. Going to other people’s lovely homes with lovely welcoming mothers made me quite sad but I am thankful that I experienced those houses so I could model what they felt like as I got older and had my own space. Naturally my Mother declared my lovely home as ‘cold and soulless’ probably because I didn’t think it was necessary to keep the pledge in the fruit bowl… She used to leave out the hoover and cleaning products so people would think she was just about to clean. It was a farce really - you could see the house hadn’t been cleaned for many, many months.

One of my proudest moments was my DD texting me in her first week that she was cleaning her room then showing other people at Uni how to make some basic dishes and use the washing machine. At that point I knew I had broken the cycle. It takes a lot for some people to get through the other side of a difficult upbringing so I hope you are ok now too and that your Mum has maybe got some help dealing with her issues.

Ah yes - my Mother was very put out when tradespeople declined to quote for the work after learning they would be expected to both move the mess and put it back in the same order as before 😂

Why go on the programme if you are not going to take any notice of what is said?

So so much money wasted plus what the hell were they thinking with that huge ugly tv blocking the window? It would be bad enough on a unit or on a wall but honestly why?

This weeks episode did feel a bit flat and they so needed Dilly. I hope she is ok

@longtompot She’s finished her cancer treatment and is well, according to interviews over the past few months.

Why go on the programme if you are not going to take any notice of what is said?

@mydogisthebest - she was in denial about her problem. She said several times how desperate she was to fix the state of the place and how she blamed herself.

Unfortunately, Stacey replied with hugs and telling her “you’re doing so well” instead of a Dillyesque “Channel that feeling, focus on the change you want for your children, for your future, and only keep one in 10 of these outfits. You can’t get that change without taking action now, while we’re here to support you.”

I was shouting at the telly.

@Putthefuckingthingsaway Thanks. Again, your new post also has familiar elements - we were quite middle class in terms of education and values, but poor because mum was an illegal immigrant working multiple jobs. I would also say she was a narcissist who considered herself to be better than most others in terms of intelligence, taste and opinions. Also sought refuge in alcohol and shitty relationships. So not an easy home to grow up in! But I have also broken the cycle, which I'm really proud of, and sounds like you should be too. So many of us tried to help my mum to sort the flat out over the years, but she just couldn't do it, even though she knew it was an awful space to live in. She slept on a broken sofa for years because the bed was completely covered in stuff. There were pathways through the stuff in the rooms so you could walk through them. She died last year, and my sister told me that when the house was cleared, all the chaos was actually very well organised, which is what my mum had always said! She'd have enjoyed being proved right in the end.

Well, it sounds like we both have done our best on some challenging circumstances, sending you solidarity flowers 💐

The under counter curtain is actually very on- trend at the moment.
But it’s usually executed better.

I've got one. But my kitchen is 1950s retro.

I’ve also got one in my traditional farmhouse utility room

That would be lovely! She's my favourite.

I feel like Rob uses up most of his time on a single furniture, Ewan tests some online cleaning tricks, and Stacey is just panicking for having no time while sticking paper (!) cupcake cases on a lampshade.

I just watched the last episode and am very underwhelmed. I felt like the mum had real issues and they were not addressed. I think they should have suggested she seeks professional help. It was all her stuff and I felt sorry for the rest of the family.

The tv in the bedroom will most likely end up being up all the time. Should've been hang on a different wall, not blocking the window.

I still liked it. Agree there was a lot more going on. Her ex sounded horrific and undermined her confidence. And she did comment at the end that she hadn’t bought anything.

I do agree about this week's episode, and people are right to worry about the mum. I think she needs more than just the house sorted out - probably therapy of some sort.

I used to watch the American programme about dealing with hoarders, and I thought it was very sensible that they had a psychologist as part of the clearing out team, and they did examine the reasons behind the hoarding. I don't think every episode of SYLO needs that, but some of them definitely do, and this week was one of them.

I think there was a different feel to the last programme, I bet something changed. Maybe the budget or the director or something significant. It's a very strong formula which works like a dream but it works I think because you believe that the team are genuinely going through the work with the family.

This one definitely felt less of that warmth, Solomon is not as strong without Dilly. She is psychologically the element that kind of grounds the tone. She's a bit like "phew, the grown up has arrived".

I think the formula is more visible when it doesn't work as well - maybe?

The bake off and the sewing bee are similarly rigid formulae but they work (I think) because you believe in Patrick & Esme. The bake-off - ahh I don't watch it any more because of the ads 🤩

Yes, I agree there was a different feel.
May be Stacey not doing the second day in the warehouse to replace Dili affected the team vibes, as the guys are normally busy with their stuff on that day...
Or they all just found the family difficult to work with/ the project more difficult than usual.

In his eyes if you can't see it it doesn't exist , pour boiling water down. when you disconnect the plug it's not going to go back the same , the seal won't be as good . I'd love to open mine but I resist it .

I think the lady's attitude seemed a bit off from the point that Stacey asked her if she was ready to let go of stuff and she didn't seem keen. That impacted the show from the get go for me, it already seemed a bit pointless.
The lack of Dilly was tough, she became very ill very quickly so I guess they didn't have time to find another expert. She has explained all about why she wasn't there on instagram. Dilly is so skilled and can be tough but also comes at it from a place where she understands the hoarders, but can also explain how it impacts their loved ones as she is a child of a hoarder.
Then seeing them bring clothes back into the loft was just like a signal of failure. They've never put clothes back in the loft before. The lady in the show just wouldn't give up enough stuff, she wasn't fully invested in the process.
I wonder if her daughter or husband had done the application.

Going against the grain here but I enjoyed that episode. I think most people who go on this programme have some kind of issue so she's not alone there!
Loved the pergola outside.

Absolutely it was a casting/no Dilly thing.

And of course I don't blame Dilly, she's a national treasure as far as I'm concerned.

But they rarely get the casting wrong. I imagine the scheduling must be a very complicated process as it's all done in the warm months isn't it? I wonder how many months it takes to film the series? And if they are doing all the houses concurrently.

And the researchers all year round will be scouting the locations.

Agree with the comments- this was the first episode where I genuinely thought "it'll be the same in 6 months".

And first episode I just didn't get my usual feel good vibes. Sad really.

And missed Dilly.

The dad had nothing to show of himself in that house, said he'd get rid of the tv if she got rid of 50%, but she didn't! Only 40. And all the clothes back in the loft, why?? She will NEVER wear them. There's no way she even remembers what she has, let alone uses a QR code to seek an item out.

Do you remember the name of this show?

@Yourethebeerthief

There's one called Hoarders which I watched on Amazon Prime and Netflix briefly had a Canadian one called Consumed which had an identical premise to SYLO.