MAFSUK thread 5. Congratulations are the meek, for they shall inherit the universe. Egg fried rice optional. As is intimacy. Grab yer bottles and get ma name oot yer mooth. All cowments appreciated. (Translation services by Sunbird)

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

Wire in.

Okay I have to admit that I do somewhat see the appeal of JJ. I'm sorry! I can't hold it in anymore. Yes he does have shit hair. But he has a lovely, cheeky smile and I find it quite pleasing.

Really @beastlyslumber?

That's sarcasm, right?

Be honest now - have you opened the wine? Are you Tasha-level drunk?

Peggy looks ridiculous. She always has her mouth open and her tongue over her teeth so she looks like a dog with its mouth open needing a drink.
I also think it's weird that she's pumped herself full of fake shit to make herself look like Barbie, presumably to get attention from men, but actually hates sex :/ so she wants to be a sex doll lookalike, wants children, but doesn't want sex ever. Peculiar

I'm not up to date with the episodes so I haven't seen what Tasha has done but I just dont like her.
She's taken on a strange persona but it's not real
She talks in memes. She makes weird faces. She's like a cartoon character rather than a person.

I don't like Tasha since she pulled a weird face and raised her eyebrows when telling the camera her and her fella had sex. You are adults ffs.

@beastlyslumber NOOO! Do not head to the dark side! You must have been blinded by Brad's teeth, see an optician immediately!!

I don't get why any of them would want to get with JJ. Yes, cheeky smile but also shifty eyes and his hair looks like he's about to play Henry V in Shakespeare copying Laurence Olivier's off of the film. It is truly awful and I don't know why anyone would go to a hairdressers/barbers and say "Yeah, I'll have that haircut because I'm off to be on the telly and I want to look like a twat."

Peggy's lips are bad but Ella's are on another level. It was a few episodes that she could, clearly with some struggle, actually close them. Most of the time she looks like she's having an allergic reaction to a wasp sting. Her lips are almost as big as her plastic tits.

I’ve given up trying to work out where Ella’s lips actually end. They seem to just blend in with the shine

Hahahaha brilliant!

Look, I'm menopausal, okay? It's sent me insane. JJ may have Shakespearian hair but yes I would do him.

Sorry. It's my hormones. You can't hold me fully responsible.

Hormones can make us want the strangest things. Pregnant women have been known to eat coal. The menopause can send us in a couple of directions. Fancying those who should be unfanciable and wanting to block up your chuff so no man ever enters it again. No blame from me!

Henry v - genius!

Ach beastly

I’ll not chastise you for teetering over the JJ brink. Others there seem so trickit with him and want to sook his face off - he must have summat about him.

So, to that end, congratulations on seeing what most of us in the wild are clearly missing.

I did write this just before he got wed -

”If Gavin dresses to the right then I think I know how he pulled a model.
He’s pulled it that much he’s stretched it.”

If all the skin gets redistributed downstairs in times of giddy, then no wonder his eyes are struggling to open and no wonder he is luring folk in.

Meat seeking missile hormones are buggers.

Ps I think blackadder was not Henry v but dick3 times.

Still got the hair though.

Thank you so much @SheldonesqueTheBstard my pelvic floor muscles needed the exercise.

I've been thinking, the whole cast is recruited from a party at a strip club that was the venue for an end of series party for dating a celeb. Wicked, so efficient.

Shamelessly placemarking ;)

Bloody hell page 16 and I've only just found you again!

😂🤣😂

We’ve had the Mafs girly night oot.

Let’s hear it for the Mafs boys…

Is that little one JJ?

beastlyslumber well done for fessing up!

I have to admit, Thomas, I have gone off him since he did the confrontation with poor old Arthur. All a bit High Grant and Colin Firth fighting in Bridget Jones's Diary!

I like Ella. She isn't mean.

I think when out is out put on the spot "who do you fancy who is not your husband ' it's easier to say someone who has already been mentioned. All the girls like the same one deflects from I really like this one on particular.

However, I think Ella said JJ because he had already said she was his type. And I do think Erica was saying JJ to 'win' against Ella.

Did the other group get asked that question?

I'm watching Season 11 of Married at First Sight USA and it is very good. The people mostly seem very genuine. The experts are very good. Good advice, it seems.

I'm in the chuff blocking camp of menopause and definitely would not do JJ!