chris - cbeebies

[Carla]

Yeah? What about him?

Thats strange my post seemes to have disappeared!! Was just wondering if anyone else had noticed that he had overdone his lippy this morning!!

Haven't seen him this am, but he's always overdoing his blusher!

He wears even more make-up than Balamory's PC Plum. I never thought such an achievement was possible.

do you think he and plum get special bulk-buying discount when they have their eyeliner/eyebrows permanently tattooed on?

I thought his eyebrows were specially made marionettes operated by the sound man

Big cook, Little cook?

The more I watch BCLC the more I am strangely drawn to ben

Ha ha, obviously, a man who can cook, give me Big cook Ben anyday!!!

I'm here and I'm hot hot hot!

Dear bigCookben
Please can you explain to me why this morning when little cook suddenly handed you some mini croissants they grew to normal size when you picked them up?
Also are you pissed off you can never look through the hatch and discover who your customer is yourself?
Also that only one person visits your cafe at a time?
Many thanks
DillyDally

Where's your special friend Small?

And why they never pay? Or get to choose what they want to eat?

It takes us so long to cook anything that we can only manage one customer at a time. The exception is when we 'cook' something really extravagant like bees made out of rice paper. Then it only takes 5 minutes.

I let Small look through the keyhole because I'm hoping that one day he'll fly his spoon too fast and get wedged in there.

They were special croissants. Like everything else in our kitchen they change size dramatically whenever we both use them.

And why does little cook small fly over the exact same group of kids everyday when he's doing his flying spoon thing?

and why small never seems to catch on that there is flour in his paper wipes

and why you don't tell Small to pull his damn trousers up when he's riding on that spoon so we don't all get an eyeful of builders bum

So who does your tax return?

Isn't it funny how the customers always seem to leave EXACTLY what big cook,little cook need on the plate???

Small is generally a lazy sod who flies off anytime there's any actual work to be done.

"Yes, Ben. You prepare all the ingredients and I'll just fly off to see how grass grows."

"Yes, Ben. I'll watch you do all the cooking and then make a big deal about setting the timer."

Does he have to complete a full tax return given there are only two employees and one is disadvantaged by size?

We pay no tax because no bgger ever actually pays. I phoned the Inland Revenue asking what value we should put on our usual gifts of magic dust and crp costumes but they just laughed and hung up.

My fave costume is the wooly jumper knitted by your Aunty that unravels around the kitchen
You look very handsome in that one

Is your mum proud of what you do?