Celebrity Masterchef

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

It's called Celebrity Masterchef. Faye Winter is someone who is not a celebrity. She was on a telly competition that she didn't even win. By that token you might as well have the losing contestants on a head to head of Pointless on this show.

Nope. Meringues should be crunchy, maybe with a chewy bit in the middle.

And people shouldn’t have two bumps on their foreheads.

No way on earth is she doing this cold.

that aside, floating islands are just wrong.

<gavel>

They shouldn’t unless they are kid goats

Yep she definitely did that before

I can't believe they just 'somehow' know what to do. I cook a bit but I'd have no clue where to start with this challenge. They surely must edit out a whole section where they give them a bit more guidance!

Go on Danny! He’s not a ringer by the look of this

First Nan mention of the series. DRINK

I'm increasingly suspicious about how the tacky reality types on this show always seem to have pretty good knowledge and skills. Is it just a question of them having time to practise a lot when they know they are doing Masterchef?

I bet Faye was all "I don't know what to do" and whined a bit so they told her, whereas Danny is the type to just give it a go.

I cook as well wouldn’t have a clue on this one

They've obviously been coached in some way

I would have had a vague idea because I saw it on GBBO or something once. It looks awful, though. Make proper meringues, not these terrifying things.

I like Kae. He's a trier.

Sweet eggy soup with a flobby meringue adrift in it. The most terrifying thing since the iceberg that sank the Titanic.

That wasn't whisked properly

I’m still hungry after a 2 person pizza, a toasted bagel and an individual tiramisu, but I wouldn’t eat these things, they’re a travesty of an actual dessert

Definitely coached. I quite fancy Iles flotantes. Mind you, I'm currently eating what may be a concoction of my own: a tin of anchovies melted down with garlic cloves and a chopped up lemon, rind and all, with spaghetti stirred in. I may have unusual taste.

At least Danny and Kae are believable when they say they don't know how to do it.

Ooh Kae, that's the horror I was expecting.

I've had a summer pudding and some mccoys steak crisps. Balance

Why do they have to do this one by one? So boring.

That sounds echt Italian, Bibliomania, if you’ll forgive the language mash-up

It is very boring isn't it

Burnt offering

Just had chicken and Parmesan fettuccine with ciabatta and a tomato salad. A ready meal but quite nice!

I like Kae and I want to give him a hug. He looks shellshocked.