Celebs go dating - and pouting and flouncing and whining and crying. Probably.

[theNumbersStation]

I will wait patiently for someone to find love.

I’ve more chance of being a size 8.

Yay, it's back! I like this format more than last year's "mansion''' but I guess in a pandemic we all do the best we can.

I always feel so depressed when I see the terrible creepy uncle types that the older ladies get lumbered with in this show - first the creepy Maltese bore then the ancient "model". Poor Ulrika. Meanwhile Abs who is 42 and looks 55, is covered with prison tattoos and can't string a sentence together (bless him) gets paired with a luscious 29-year-old.

Chloe Brockett was coming across well at first then was vile to her poor date - good self-awareness in her interview though.

Nikita Jasmine is going to be good value. Love a filthy Geordie.

Miles and Tom were funny together - at least Miles seems to have some chance of understanding Tom's long words and getting his jokes. Not really interested in seeing Miles date though, we've seen enough of that on Made In Chelsea.

I think Paul and Anna will break Ryan-Mark by episode 4. He'll cry. He deserves to, the silly little boy.

Watching last nights. Had to smile when Marty said you'll know me from Geordie Shore. No Marty, I had no idea who you are. He is a complete tool. I can't stand him or Nikita.

I’m going to have to binge this weekend. Someone has gone sick. Again. 🤨

Doesn’t Chloe sound like Chantelle Houghton? I love Nikita!

Love this show - Rob makes me laugh out loud.
I'd heard of 4 of the celebs (Ulrika, Miles. Abz, Ryan-Mark). I think Miles has beautiful bone-structure and colouring.
Ulrika needs to get matched with better dates.

Nikita is vile, almost unwatchable!

The funniest person is Rob Beckett!

The essex girl ... "I hate the way we are all portrayed as thick from Essex, I'm after a northern lad, a southern lad, don't care really. Am I from the south?"

@ISpyCobraKai

I know who Marty is, I used to watch GS

I used to watch geordie shore too and I do not remember Marty one bit! 🤣

I'm watching +1. Abz and Shane 🙈

@JaneJeffer

I'm watching +1. Abz and Shane 🙈

Me too plus1. Loving the Kim Jong-un impersonation. Not loving the slurpy kissing noises🙁.

Haven't seen tonight's but had a catch up earlier today.

Why would Ulrika-ka-ka want a 20 something bloke? He's really not going to be interested in you for the right reasons. I mean I get you might not want someone who's going to talk about their ailments all night but you don't want someone your son's age surely, that's just embarrassing. As for the chat with Kerry Katona, yeah she's got great track record.

Miles and Chloe are quite cute but they'll never be a decent couple, he'll be longing for a polo pony before too long despite bemoaning he's dated that type all too often.

RyandashMark and Marty were a bit grim serving at that double date but I'm putting money down that they had a drunken pash sitting behind that bar necking drinks! Aside from that R-M is just rude and Marty is a different kind of rude, time to leave the 'shore behind.

Nikita hasn't been too controversial so far...but I can't wait to see her face when Jessicka turns up! Incidentally she deserves no-one, she was mean to porn tache Micko...

I agree with those who say the conversations are too sexual. Why can't people talk without innuendo?? I used to love Tom in the earlier series but I have to FF him now. I can't stand his faux-innocence when talking about "keeping one's knob beautifully polished" or some such shite.

Rob's narration is great.

@ChikaCherryCola

I agree with those who say the conversations are too sexual. Why can't people talk without innuendo?? I used to love Tom in the earlier series but I have to FF him now. I can't stand his faux-innocence when talking about "keeping one's knob beautifully polished" or some such shite.

Rob's narration is great.

Yes agree with this! I'm trying to remember my dating days and don't think I ever mentioned my vagina once! 🤣

I definitely never talked about my bits and pieces! But also, how did Nikita know her friend had a bit of disco fanjo? There's no mystery these days!

Well, given that we're only on page 2 there's clearly not a lot of action in this series (if there were pages and pages I'd think I was missing something!). Not sure what adding Jessicka is going to add to the party, aside from challenging Nikita in the letting it all hang out stakes. Less is er...less....

Oh my God Jessica 🙈

Ryan-Mark is NOT going to do better than Callum from Barbados FFS! What does that handsome, honey-voiced hunkatron see in the poisonous podgy little gerbil?

Jessica comes across as totally fake and a horrible person.

From memory, when Jessika was on Married at First sight Australia, she wasn’t very pleasant. And neither were her family.

I'm an episode behind but, as much as I dislike Marty and he grosses me out with his constant gross sex talk.. that girl at the mixer was such a dick to him and I can completely see why he reacted the way he did.. two girls approach him, fair enough he was a bit ignorant about her being Muslim but she then tells him he needs to read a book, then she laughs and makes fun of his accent, then Miles comes over and she tries to embarrass Marty by telling miles that he's trying it on with her and that he has no chance. Backfired on her though because she looked embarrassed when he started arguing back .. anyway yeah just annoyed me! She was so holier than thou and thought she was better than him. Anyway, back to hating Marty!

@TheOccupier

Ryan-Mark is NOT going to do better than Callum from Barbados FFS! What does that handsome, honey-voiced hunkatron see in the poisonous podgy little gerbil?

Jessica comes across as totally fake and a horrible person.

Totally agree, on both points, except that I feel you're being unkind to gerbils.

Callum is lovely! and Dash, well, isn't.

Just lost a massive post.

Anyway. I’ve had a binge and am fairly up to date.

Marty - neanderchoad.

Miles - seemingly still hung up on Maeva and her little French foof.

Abz - I think he is really there for the love.

RyandashMark - notdashalldashthat

Rikakaka - probably there for love but I think would be happy enough with the bitsdoings.

InstaJ - my opinion of them has not changed. If that is their real persona? No hope. Fine flashing flapping orbs. It’ll reel ‘em in. But get wor Cyrell ower with her flapping tongue of truth and we will see them jumping off the hook.

WeeChloeB - needs a proper decent man. There’s a lovely but hurt lass in there that deserves better.

Same with NikiJ. And though I couldn’t be done with the loudness, I think there is a right good but hurting lass in there. Says girl code. Means it.

Tired of Tim and his grunting, innuendos and fawning.

Tired of the ixperts not ixperting.

Not tired of Rob. He’s the saving Grace.

I've been a bad viewer. It's not keeping my attention at all and I don't know anyone's name unless I knew them beforehand. I used to love this but I have become indifferent.

I would have to agree jane

After a backlog of viewing I regret to say that I was prioritising ancient Midsomer Murders over this.

I’m disappointed and I can’t think why. Probably because I don’t feel they are all looking for love. Not really.

I get that bills need to be paid and you can’t look a gift horse in the mouth and all that.

I fear it is maybe because they aren’t characters but caricatures.

And it is hard to actually care. 🤷‍♀️

I don’t feel they are all looking for love
I think you've hit the nail on the head there Sheldon. It used to feel a lot more sincere.

Someone telling me not to use 'that kind of language' on one of the threads when I said someone was a dick kind of put me off posting about it as well! She would have passed out after five minutes in my company

Yes agree as well. I think bringing people back like Pete Wicks is evidence of this. It's coming to something when Pete Wicks is more inter than the current lot.

interesting

jane I fear most would need smelling salts after some of my posts 😳

When Nikita and her chap last night were discussing bits, I think she told him to go canny.🧐

And then Rob said that was the pot calling the kettle pissflaps I about ended myself 😉

And aye, l’il pirate petey chummy with InstaJess? And his smouldering?

Pull the other wooden one.

They’ve gone all mafsuk with it.

Put it back.