Celebs go dating - and pouting and flouncing and whining and crying. Probably.

[theNumbersStation]

I will wait patiently for someone to find love.

I’ve more chance of being a size 8.

And don't get me started on Tom. He used to be nice in a kind of high camp theatrical way but dear oh dear, he's excruciating now!

I once thought he was delightful. I’m sure he is really.

But not on this. Not any more. It just isn’t funny.

Tom's terrible. As someone said upthread, he's just a caricature now. All faux-innocent innuendos.

Sheldon you never fail to cheer me up! (DanTDM here) Hope all's good with you x

Ulrika is depressing me. Why is everyone patronising her? Even Chloe B and Kerry K? I mean, she's 50ish and they think she's a saddo. She's more famous than they'll ever be and surely they can find her a more appropriate date?

The cosmetic surgery is so, so upsetting.

I loathe Nikita.

Tom is annoying now.

This dash guy is revolting.

Miles really is still hung up on Maeva. Chloe B thinks her and Miles are a possibility and this married at whatever woman is as plain as a pikestaff with fake breasts.

Off to watch Matt Tebutt in his new series...

adrift. I’m positively twirling with glee! How are you my friend? All well here - battling a chest infection but catching up with Matt from this morning. What isn’t to love as I splutter? 🙂 bonus with our Antneee on it 😍 x

I wish Nikita would dial it down a bit. I think there is a lovely lovely lass in there. Her wee heart is in absolutely the right place. Her mouth though. Im a sweary Mary but I’m not a filth merchant (not like that).

I’m not a prude, nor am I an ingenue but I can’t be doing with filth for filth’s sake.

Not buying wee Chloe and miles either. Nor did I buy him picking a lass clarted in tattoos. As if. It wasn’t a surprise when he didn’t want to actually date her.

Dash man is 20. It took me 30 more years to become that objectionable. He must have popped out curling his lip.

I’m more in Ulrika’s age group. It is depressing the way she is portrayed. And is spoken to. She’s a vibrant bloody woman in her prime.

I want proper courting. I want romance. I want wooed. Wouldn’t anyone?

This smacks more of a foray behind the bins than rose petals on linen.

I’m clearly old fashioned 🥴

Although I sound very like Tom and his exaggerated panting at the moment.

It sounds very much like I’ve got lucky.

I haven’t! 🙂

Ugh, so bored of the whole "eyes, otherwise 7 years bad sex" when they cheers. Who on earth made that up?? It's just yet another way to get sex into what would otherwise be a non sexual moment. Somemof these people seem I lynto talk in sexual innuendos. I would be so bored of it!

I wish anyone who says that 7 years of excruciatingly bad sex.

The innuendos are also making me proper fed up. I’m wheezing like a stood on bagpipe bag and it isn’t easy breathing when I’m cross.

Tom can’t possibly talk like that all the time so why do it on here? If you took a glug of grog every time he coyly mentioned cheesy baws or snug downstairs, I’d be hammered.

Rob is just out with it - it is just more honest 🤷‍♀️ and funny 😄

I fear if it hadn’t been for Rob , I’d have been offski.

Miles just needs Maeva. I bet he hasn’t had much in the way of criticism which is how he is pissed off. I think it is all about him. And he needs to lighten up and loosen up. Starting with his tights.

And more or less admitting he is what Paul said he was to his dad, will he ever acknowledge it to the ixperts? Doubt it.

Abz wasn’t feeling Cruella eh? But he is feeling Jess. She seems lovely.

Nikita inviting the dash. My Christ.

The moof 🤨. But that Charlie seems like he’d be good for her. She needs a nice egg. But she seems to be wanting a bad boy. Nah hinny ye divnae.

🤣 Love your summaries. I'm a bit behind. Just seen the one where Miles was on the date with the posh model, when he was talking about his "fetish" (which was actually a fantasy, not a fetish). And Nikita was on her cocktail-making date when every conversation seemed to involve a crude innuendo. Or not even innuendo, just blatant crude talk.

I FF through Tom because he's become really annoying and adds no value to the programme whatsoever.

Ulrika's guy seemed okay. And at least they seemed to chat about things other than carnal desires.

But yes, love Rob's quips. I'll stay for him 😁

You aren’t that far behind chika

You are about to get moofs and tongues. And cheesy baws.

Not from me. 😉 I’m all for being friendly. Just not Nikita friendly 😁

And aye - not a fetish. Unless he also had a packet of cheesy baws up an unmentionable.

What's the point of putting Dash with polite salt of the earth types, it's predictable! Try him with someone equally snotty and let them snipe it out.

I've never seen MIC but get the impression Miles is measuring everyone up to someone he isn't over.

Paul got the measure of Miles alright and he was fuuuuming. No way is he into Chloe. The dash thinks he’s a pure 10 when he’s pushing a 3 at best, he needs to better match to put him in his place. Actually I think the matching has been pretty poor this series, like Ulrika why out her with 30yr olds who want kids

They put Ulrika with older men at first but the first one was a bit odd and the second one liked talking about ailments. Not all over 50s are dull and decrepit; I'm sure they could find her someone closer to her age who's still fit and fun, and I agree it would be a better match. I worry that she'd be a bit of a novelty for a lot of younger men who will end up looking for someone their own age once they're bored of her. And yes, if they ultimately want a family of their own then she's just not a match for them.

Yeah, why can't they find a fun, lively older guy, possibly divorced with kids who wants the same as her? They must exist! I think this current one with grey hair might end up going that way- he looks and sounds more mature which might be a red herring as he was still banging on about sending 'nudies' at the first opportunity!

Yes to Paul clocking Miles. He seems to have an odd gratification thing of getting the women to tell him their sexual interests in some detail despite having zero interest in them. It seems to be a bit of a humiliation tactic.

I don't get how Miles can flirt and seem interested in women to then turn around at the end of the date and say he has no interest. It's like he's just playing a character which I thought he wanted to get away from. I liked him initially but he's going down in my estimation as time goes on.

Ooh, just seen Miles get his dressing down. He didn't like that at all did he? Though he took it fairly gracefully as it must have been hard to hear. I hope he reflects on it.

I wonder if being a reality star makes it difficult for people to be their true selves? They're not actors yet still they're playing a part, but that part is themselves albeit a probably exaggerated version of themselves. I wonder if they get to a point where they can't remember what's real and what's not. Do they feel they have to live up to their on-screen persona? Must be weird.

Oh see I don’t think he took it gracefully AT ALL!

The boy was seething! 🤣

Well, I suppose by gracefully I meant he didn't react how he probably wanted to, rather he seethed silently and held his tongue. But you're right, "graceful" is probably the wrong word.

🙂

It was a lot more graceful than I was expecting!

He took it as a character assassination when I don’t think it was quite that. He grudgingly accepted with his dad that they may have had a point so that was a start.

Mart is as bad. But goes one step further with tongues etc. if you don’t feel it then fine. But don’t lead folk on because that is just rotten.

As said, he probably won’t be that thrilled with anyone because they aren’t Maeva.

And although I have in the past hoped they’d get back together, his behaviour on here (scripted or not) has pushed me the other way. He isn’t coming across well.

I thought by the way that he’d be outraged and shout them down.

What do I know? 🤣

Is Maeva a girlfriend from MIC? I haven't watched that since the Spencer and Hugo days so I'm not familiar.

Aye she is. She is now with one of his (ex?) friends.

It came across that they both lament their love being lost but aren’t happy seeing the other with others.

Maeva has a dog I think with Her new chap (James?) and is all about the settling/weddinging/house and kids point now.

I think that nips out little seething chap. And naturally so.

But I think he really hurt Maeva and they’ve poked at eachother since in the programme.

I am sticking with it but there's some real painful watch in there.

I did quite like The Dash getting lip of a couple of the painters (the knob one was, I felt, not only accurate but somewhat excellent!). It must be exhausting behaving like a tit all the time, not to mention the extra effort required for getting dressed in the dark

Everyone else is just mind numbing, either by their constant smut talk (or attempt at such....Miles and his 'fetish'...child, you have no idea what is what!) or just being downright weird. As if JPower didn't do the shuffle with Pirate Pete. And Tom can go and pump his cheeseplant because he's become so OTT it's just not funny any more.

But yeah, if I weren't a wfh'er who loves tv for company I'd have given up days ago.

I'm with you Tits. It's shit really. I watch it recorded so that I can fast forward most of it. I never watch Tom; can't stand the man. Rob's voiceovers still make me laugh though.