Celebrity Masterchef 4: How do you know when your biscuit is done?... Chooooomeric.. And 1970s Brandy snaps.

[Pebbledashery]

Here you go chaps.

@Lobelian

What is driving me MAD this year (apart from Jonty's slow morphing into a moderately successful actor-manager of a provincial theatre company circa 1880) is the producer's obsession with creating a 'journey' for the winning contestant. It massively favours the reality stars like Winky Swash and Kem and Megan who are schooled in this artificial wide-eyed 'who, little me?' bollocks.

Half the time it doesn't even make sense. If, like Joe Swash, you'd tried FOUR TIMES to make choux buns without a single success the night before a competition, would you still try to make them?! But wow, look, it all turned out ok on the day. And when they keep going on about 'how much they're learning...' WHEN!? When, apart from the chef rounds, are they learning anything? Who is teaching them? Aaargh.

Dion and his hat for the win.

Yes it's crap, Bez was so much better.

Joe Swash is very irritating

Who is teaching them?

Kem's extended family I think.

I do think its a sad reflection on the quality of the producers, not just of this but of other programmes too. I have not been watching Married at first sight UK but I can't help to have picked up on the kerfuffle around a particular contestant. Channel hopping I came across the latest "afters" programme with the contestant on it. Instead of being taken to task (and this can be done gently and sensitively) for her appalling (and abusive) behaviour she was lauded, hugged, applauded. My jaw was on the floor. We as a society seem to be celebrating the lowest common denominator and forgiving unforgiveable behaviour from young "influencer" type people. Joe S said some very unpleasant things and if that's what's being shown how much is going on that is not shown?

If it wasn't for you lot I would have bailed on this series in the first week.

Sorry for the rant.

I said to my ed last night that if the final is Kem, Megan and Joe I won't be watching as I wouldn't want any of them to win. If Mel, Dion and or Kadenna are in it then I will.
It is so frustrating for Kem to fail every unpractised round, or round with no instruction sheet, but every practised one he does so well. He is not an intuitive cook, he can just do as he's told.
To be fair to Megan, although she annoys me immensely, she does seem to be able to cook.

Agree that this series has been dire on the whole. When you think about people like Phil Vickery and Emma Kennedy, who actually did learn, and really could cook and who knew what a slotted spoon was, it puts Kem and Joe into their proper, dismal Sleb perspective.

We as a society seem to be celebrating the lowest common denominator and forgiving unforgiveable behaviour from young "influencer" type people.

I totally agree with this. I’ve dipped more out than in of this series and wouldn’t have bothered at all if it wasn’t for this thread. A cookery show should be about cooking (and yelling FUCK OFF GREGG), not about which numpty of TOWIE doesn’t know what goats cheese is.

Not to get too deep also but this trend for having talentless, vacuous people who seem to show off at being thick and taking their clothes off is really depressing. Not the standards I want to hold my daughter up to. We should be celebrating scientists, sports people, engineers etc and giving them airtime, not someone who doesn’t know what an earlobe is.

@Shirleyphallus

We as a society seem to be celebrating the lowest common denominator and forgiving unforgiveable behaviour from young "influencer" type people.

I totally agree with this. I’ve dipped more out than in of this series and wouldn’t have bothered at all if it wasn’t for this thread. A cookery show should be about cooking (and yelling FUCK OFF GREGG), not about which numpty of TOWIE doesn’t know what goats cheese is.

Not to get too deep also but this trend for having talentless, vacuous people who seem to show off at being thick and taking their clothes off is really depressing. Not the standards I want to hold my daughter up to. We should be celebrating scientists, sports people, engineers etc and giving them airtime, not someone who doesn’t know what an earlobe is.

Yep, that Abigail's party comment from JS made him look a real thicko - slaps side of face,

It's yet another example of the BBC chasing a younger audience, alienating the actual audience, and yet still failing to attract that younger audience. The BBC view of what young or working class people like is akin to one of those Tory M.P.s who thinks lowering the tax on bitter and meat pies will get them working class votes. They have no idea.

Absolutely agree! People who watch Masterchef want to see people who genuinely uncover a talent for cooking like Emma Kennedy and Phil Vickery as a pp mentioned. Sophie Thompson was my fave. She was fab!

This year's cohort are just a cringey attempt by clueless producers to chase a Love Island demographic.

I'm all caught up and feel bereft at Bez going. He's been such a good contestant and seems to have at least had his own ideas and been thinking of stuff AND has cooked ok in the rounds where they've been put on the spot. They are obviously coaching him and joe behind the scenes and oh what a surprise his choux buns worked 😐. And they did NOT looo great with an actual sheet of golf leaf draped on them. They looked beige. He seems nasty too. Those lemon meringue pies were lovely so I'm glad she went through instead of Bez but FFS. It's so obviously rigged

I think if you're having Love Island type people you need ones who are interested in cooking and actually want to be on the programme rather than because their agent has suggested it.

Yes, it's very striking that three of the contestants are famous for being famous and moving from one reality show to another. No substance, no hinterland.

I'm rooting for Kadeena, Dion and Melanie, who have a lot more about them.

Joe's alphabet only has 24 letters. Because there's no I or Q.

I don't buy the Cheeky Cockernee Chappy schtick either. He's not 'funny' or 'loveable' or 'kerazy'. He's a twonk with hair like a panda's pubes and a Pound Shop Cuprinol fake tan.

.

@squooshe

I love that all Essex slebs have been to Turkey to get discount gnashers,

If only Kems Nana had gone into dentistry .We could have been spared so much distress and angst.

As soon as Joe and Ken particularly started on with that faux-gormless 'I'm so useless in the kitchen, me' schtick in the first round, you could see what was coming - the predictable transformational 'journey' to competence via a much-loved family member and their recipeszzzzz.

Annoying, when there seemed to be a genuine 'sous vide changed my life' moment brewing with poor Katie Price. The way her face lit up at the judges' praise for her cooking was a little bit heart-breaking. And then she got her timings wrong in the last round with an ambitious menu and Joe made a big sponge in a tin with sprinkles and had to go. I wish she'd had some encouragement and had found a hidden talent. And Johannes! And Melissa George! Robbed.

@iklboo

Joe's alphabet only has 24 letters. Because there's no I or Q.

I don't buy the Cheeky Cockernee Chappy schtick either. He's not 'funny' or 'loveable' or 'kerazy'. He's a twonk with hair like a panda's pubes and a Pound Shop Cuprinol fake tan.

.

😃

Boot polish head

I had a very retro dinner of chicken kievs tonight :)

I went for comfort food tonight Pebble egg and chips. Washed down with a large glass of Pinot Grigio.

Can't beat egg and chips.

Sausage and bacon casserole ala Hairy Bikers recipe with broccoli and french stick for dinner tonight and a nice glass of Rioja. I think I saw Her Lady Grace of Dent is n this evening? I do hope so.

Ribs in a fuck off hot sauce. Nose stilling snorting

@fourquenelles

I do think its a sad reflection on the quality of the producers, not just of this but of other programmes too. I have not been watching Married at first sight UK but I can't help to have picked up on the kerfuffle around a particular contestant. Channel hopping I came across the latest "afters" programme with the contestant on it. Instead of being taken to task (and this can be done gently and sensitively) for her appalling (and abusive) behaviour she was lauded, hugged, applauded. My jaw was on the floor. We as a society seem to be celebrating the lowest common denominator and forgiving unforgiveable behaviour from young "influencer" type people. Joe S said some very unpleasant things and if that's what's being shown how much is going on that is not shown?

If it wasn't for you lot I would have bailed on this series in the first week.

Sorry for the rant.

Love everything you've said! 👍

God coronation street is making me depressed tonight.. Hurry up and finish so I can watch masterchef

Me too Peebles. Sad

Poor baby pebble has an ear infection today she's been so poorly today :(