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Original poster

Long lost family.. Without a trace

132 replies

Pebbledashery · 24/05/2021 21:20

Who is watching?
I've cried already!

OP posts:
RedHotChiliChips · 26/05/2021 14:37

@DobbyTheHouseElk

It’s only his word that it was consensual. Poor girl, I didn’t get a good vibe from him at all. He wasn’t a bit sorry he didn’t know who he’d shagged.
Quite a reach to imply that he's some kind of rapist Shock. Tells a lot more about you than him coming out with something like that.

My guess is the girl who he got pregnant was catholic and even though it was what 90-91, she must have been from a strict catholic family. Just musing as Liverpool has a large population of Irish or people with Irish ancestry.

I talked about this with my DH last night. We didn't meet until both of us being in our thirties. When he was in his twenties, he did go to 18-30 holidays and had lots of casual relationships in between longterm girlfriends. He said he would really struggle to remember the details now if that happened to him.

RedHotChiliChips · 26/05/2021 14:39

@JFCO

Elisabeth, my thoughts exactly! I shagged around a bit in early 90's and absolutely have no idea who or where they are now. One of them is memorised as 'Beautiful Russian', another- 'had soldier's necklace', third sent me a card from Greece, where he went on holiday... Have no idea about their names or anything about them. And I am a woman 😀
"beautiful Russian" Grin

Just wanted to say I very much identify with that Grin Just insert Irish AND American instead of Russian...

RiaOverTheRainbow · 26/05/2021 15:19

Surely it's equally possible that he always used condoms, and has no idea which time it failed?

Serpenta · 26/05/2021 15:42

@OnlyInYourDreams

Tbh I hate these kinds of programmes because they create a false picture of how adoptees seek out their birth parents and there is this emotionally ecstatically happy reunion and we can only imagine that they all live happily ever after.

When in reality there are so many birth parents who simply don’t want to know, or when the reunion happens it turns out they have nothing in common/the relationships are toxic and reunion has possibly done more harm than good. But they obviously don’t talk about those, and yet they must happen even with regard to that show.

I wonder how many successes they have vs failures.

To be fair they made a follow-up programme once where a couple of the cases that had featured were no longer in contact with the relative/s they'd been seeking, and they did focus on how it's not always a 'happily ever after' ending.
Serpenta · 26/05/2021 15:51

@the80sweregreat

Now on earth did they find all that out about the lady left in Paddington station? It Was all such a long time ago as well. It is incredible they found anyone after all these years.
isn't science mind-blowing? her birth parents long since dead but they can still find out who she is and where she came from.

These kinds of advances must make people who've assumed they'd got away with an actual murder feel quite uneasy.

ToffeeNotCoffee · 26/05/2021 16:03

I find it hard to believe the man who fathered six children, well, now seven children could not remember who the girl's mother was. He's now divorced as well as estranged from all six of his children by different mothers. Oh, make that seven, in fact. OK, he was shagging around and partying without contraception or thought for the consequences.

As a PP has said, did his new found daughter's face not jog his memory ?

From when she was born, count back nine months. Not difficult to calculate roughly is it ? He doesn't want to admit what a love 'em and leave character he was. That's being polite.

I suspect he doesn't want to identify the girl's mother as it will reflect badly on him.

As has been stated by PP's. He didn't use contraception, how many more accidental babies is he going to be accountable for ?

For someone close to 60 years old, he had a curiously young looking, unlined face. A life without responsibilities ?

He looked like he lived in a nice house. Was he trying to look like the good guy by agreeing to take part in the t.v. programme ?

Turquoisesea · 26/05/2021 16:12

I’m a similar age to him and around that time some people were very promiscuous and might have had lots of one night stands after drinking too much, I’m not saying it’s ideal but I can see how it happened that he would have no idea especially if he was the sort that went out clubbing/drinking every week. At the time, I knew a lot of people just like him. As he isn’t that old I wondered wether the birth mother would have recognised him and the circumstances and would then come forward.

Serpenta · 26/05/2021 16:19

He was basically that horny milkman from Father Ted, Pat Mustard. Except a Liverpudlian and possibly not a milkman. Women just couldn't help but de-knicker when he was around.

I mean, it wasn't the fairytale news she was hoping for but he seemed okay and I can well believe he can't remember who he was shagging 30 years ago.

ToffeeNotCoffee · 26/05/2021 16:21

As he isn’t that old I wondered whether the birth mother would have recognised him and the circumstances and would then come forward.

Good point. Also, his children would have seen him on the t.v. show. Even if it was just one of the kids. I bet they are not at all 'starry eyed' about their Dad on account of the fact that they know him.

How tragic was it that the sisters were both abandoned by the same mother, in the same circumstances in the same district ? Only 14 months apart. One on the steps of a vicarage December of one year, at 4am. The other on the steps of a hospital 14 months later.

(I might have got that in the wrong order)

Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow · 26/05/2021 17:38

@ToffeeNotCoffee
They weren't related! We thought they would be but no

Sandra15 · 26/05/2021 18:41

@the80sweregreat

Now on earth did they find all that out about the lady left in Paddington station? It Was all such a long time ago as well. It is incredible they found anyone after all these years.
I was watching that with Ancestry open at the same time, froze the telly on the death certificate of her mother and was able to find out who she was even though LLF have blanked it all out for the TV show. I found her address, details of her will, details of her on the 1939 registry, her marriage and that was in less than ten minutes.

Not that I am taking it further. I did it for curiosity and to see if it was possible.

lalafafa · 26/05/2021 20:11

I think the shagger was fibbing too, he would have been socialising locally and would definitely have known who the BM was.

Original poster
Pebbledashery · 26/05/2021 20:14

I don't believe any man can not know who birthed their child. He's lying.

OP posts:
torquewench · 26/05/2021 20:20

I suspect that he may well know exactly who the birth mother is and that she was (and Im speculating), at the time, underage.

Blossomtoes · 26/05/2021 20:25

@lalafafa

I think the shagger was fibbing too, he would have been socialising locally and would definitely have known who the BM was.
He was in Liverpool not a little village in the arse end of nowhere.

I have no idea why some of you find it so difficult to believe that someone who possibly had two or three one night stands a week more than 30 years ago can’t remember them all.

ToffeeNotCoffee · 26/05/2021 20:29

I suspect that he may well know exactly who the birth mother is and that she was (and Im speculating), at the time, underage.

Ah, that could explain it. I said up thread I think he's not revealing who the mother is as it will reflect badly on him. One could make further speculations...

But it's all about not incriminating himself which he puts above all else. Story of his life I suspect.

CoronaBanana · 26/05/2021 20:31

Omg poor bloke, first he's a rapist now he's a paedo Grin

Devlesko · 26/05/2021 20:33

@Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow

Yeah, about 1988 When we were a at the peak of advertising about condom use etc
The 80's was called the second swinging sixties. We weren't very original. I'm not sure what others can remember but to me promescuity was high due to fear. We were supposedly going to die of aids or nuked, might as well go out shagging. There's no excuse now, although no excuse then, but understandable if you were there.
DigOutThoseLemonHandWipes · 26/05/2021 20:42

I think it's a stretch to assume he can't remember anything about anyone he ever slept with. He might well be able to recall there was a Helen, a Susan, two Claires, three Sarahs and Joanne but that doesn't help identify the potential mother.

ElizabethTudor · 26/05/2021 20:51

@CoronaBanana

Omg poor bloke, first he's a rapist now he's a paedo Grin
What next, a murderer? All based on absolutely nothing. The judgement on here is really quite astounding.
DobbyTheHouseElk · 26/05/2021 20:57

I hope the BM is ok, she will have carried this secret for so long. Possibly birthed alone. Leaving her baby in the early hours.

My thoughts are with her.

ToffeeNotCoffee · 26/05/2021 21:09

*I hope the BM is ok, she will have carried this secret for so long. Possibly birthed alone. Leaving her baby in the early hours.

My thoughts are with her.*

I agree.

However I accept that there may well be questions. Was the sexual intercourse consensual ? Was the BM age 16 or over ? Were they already related ?

He's out to save his own skin. He knows.

Why should the BM give birth in shame and fear. Then be driven by desperation to abandon the baby ? What were the circumstances of her life at the time ?

DobbyTheHouseElk · 26/05/2021 21:12

I agree, I think he knows.

Horehound · 26/05/2021 21:18

Next episode on now. Feel sorry for Steve left in football toilets.

Blossomtoes · 26/05/2021 21:21

He's out to save his own skin. He knows

If he was out to save his skin he’d never have exposed himself to all you vipers on terrestrial TV.

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