Long lost family.. Without a trace

[Pebbledashery]

Who is watching?
I've cried already!

Also the update never mentioned her relationship with Kevin. Just a sentence to say still working on finding out the mother. I wonder if her relationship broke down with Kevin.

Young lads in their 30s going out clubbing, drinking and having sex. Hardly a shocking revelation. Ever heard the term 'sowing a few wild seeds' - it's been going on since time began. Some real prides on this thread

Prudes not prides

@bigfloweryblouse

Young lads in their 30s going out clubbing, drinking and having sex. Hardly a shocking revelation. Ever heard the term 'sowing a few wild seeds' - it's been going on since time began. Some real prides on this thread

That'll be the prudes that have said they did the same? But would still have some kind of details to try and help someone understand their heritage.

But yeh, 6 children by different women and now divorced hardly paints a great picture of him in later life too...

Some

At least he stepped up to meet her and presumably have some kind of relationship with her. It would've been easy for him to say it was a one night stand and he doesn't want anything to do with her.
I can also see how he might not know her mother, out clubbing, drinking, sleeping with a different girl each night....

I was sad for the older lady on tonight's episode, all those lost years

@RedHotChiliChips

I'm watching this but really dislike the tone this thread has taken. Didn't realise we still lived in Victorian times . 30 years ago I was 18 years old and in college and had a period in my life where I partied a lot and had one nightstands. It all stemmed from having been able to move away from my authoritative mother into the student accommodation and basically do what the hell I liked at last. Amongst my peer group this was fairly standard though, partying and sex. If I were a man, this is something that could have easily happened to me.

I completely agree. I can’t remember who I slept with 30 odd years ago. I was single for a fair few months and “put it about” a fair bit. The judgement here is shocking.

But yeh, 6 children by different women and now divorced hardly paints a great picture of him in later life too...

It didn't say how many women were the mothers of his children, did it? He could've just been married/divorced twice, plenty of people are.

[quote Horehound]@ugzbugslz but you concede yourself that you know some details of some of the people you had sex with...that would be something to go on at least. So for him to have nothing at all is doubtful.[/quote]
Some but not everyone i could even remember their first name. A one night stand from a girls holiday, no idea where he was from. Very slap dash I know. I would say at a push I could recall maybe over half of the approx 40 people

Well 20 people is a good start to go on! :)

Yep i judge people wo have indiscriminate, unprotected sex leading to the birth of children who grow up with no idea about their origins.

I think more people should judge that kind of behaviour.

Don’t clutch those pearls too tightly @Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow, you’ll break them.

And the other thing is...you'd think his memory may be jogged a bit when looking at her? Surely there'd be something.
It just be very very hard for her.

Blossomtoes....do you think it is morally acceptable then?

@Horehound

And the other thing is...you'd think his memory may be jogged a bit when looking at her? Surely there'd be something. It just be very very hard for her.

I did wonder that but not if it was a girl he'd just met (and shagged) whilst drunk.

@Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow

Blossomtoes....do you think it is morally acceptable then?

I don’t make moral judgements on other people’s behaviour.

No judgement of the mother then for not leaving any details of her identity?

At least they knew who the father was? Would people be judging the woman if she’d said she didn’t know who the father of the baby had been?

The mother dumped the baby and never looked back, but people are criticising the man?

In the early 90s I had sex with loads of men and I've no idea now what their names were. I've even forgotten some of them altogether because I know vaguely how many there were, I used to keep count and can remember that, but about half have just drifted out of my memory completely.

Young people get drunk/stoned and shag about shocker.

@OnlyInYourDreams

Tbh I hate these kinds of programmes because they create a false picture of how adoptees seek out their birth parents and there is this emotionally ecstatically happy reunion and we can only imagine that they all live happily ever after.

When in reality there are so many birth parents who simply don’t want to know, or when the reunion happens it turns out they have nothing in common/the relationships are toxic and reunion has possibly done more harm than good. But they obviously don’t talk about those, and yet they must happen even with regard to that show.

I wonder how many successes they have vs failures.

The do do follow ups - What happened next? And it’s always a happily ever after / skip into the sunset family reunion. As you’d expect. Some reunions work, some don’t.

@DobbyTheHouseElk

It’s only his word that it was consensual. Poor girl, I didn’t get a good vibe from him at all. He wasn’t a bit sorry he didn’t know who he’d shagged.

It’s all got a bit judgy. Why should he be sorry he can’t remember who he had sex with 30 years ago? And throw in an accusation of non-consensual sex too, on absolutely no basis whatsoever. Just because he went out, got drunk, shagged around, and has fathered 6 kids. Jeez, can you pull your judgy pants up any higher?

^^ ** And it’s NOT always a happily ever after

Elisabeth, my thoughts exactly! I shagged around a bit in early 90's and absolutely have no idea who or where they are now. One of them is memorised as 'Beautiful Russian', another- 'had soldier's necklace', third sent me a card from Greece, where he went on holiday... Have no idea about their names or anything about them.
And I am a woman 😀

At least Kevin took responsibility and agreed to meet her. Whether or not it works out Rachel does know part of her heritage.

I love watching this programme but I feel it just focuses on the positive stories and doesn't explore the reality of the situations that don't turn out well. However how would they show that on television without upset?

I don't know who my birth father is and I totally understand the pain these poor people feel of not knowing their roots. All I know is that he was in the RAF and married - and disappeared when my mum got pregnant. My grandmother tried to get contact with the RAF and they closed ranks.

I do want closure - not to have a relationship but just to know my roots. It's painful when you have grown up seeing friends with amazing paternal relationships. I am in my 50's now so unlikely to happen.

Now on earth did they find all that out about the lady left in Paddington station? It Was all such a long time ago as well.
It is incredible they found anyone after all these years.

I think it was all DNA searches. It’s amazing to hear the stories. Such a lot of sadness as well.

@chocolatemonster

At least Kevin took responsibility and agreed to meet her. Whether or not it works out Rachel does know part of her heritage.

I love watching this programme but I feel it just focuses on the positive stories and doesn't explore the reality of the situations that don't turn out well. However how would they show that on television without upset?

I don't know who my birth father is and I totally understand the pain these poor people feel of not knowing their roots. All I know is that he was in the RAF and married - and disappeared when my mum got pregnant. My grandmother tried to get contact with the RAF and they closed ranks.

I do want closure - not to have a relationship but just to know my roots. It's painful when you have grown up seeing friends with amazing paternal relationships. I am in my 50's now so unlikely to happen.

Have you done a dna test on Ancestry.com?
My sister had someone contact her on there because they had a dna match and he was trying to find out who his mum's father was, apparently we shared the same ancestors. She gave him our family tree information and from that it narrowed it down to who it could be. Amazing really.