Long lost family.. Without a trace

[Pebbledashery]

Who is watching?
I've cried already!

He looks young for 57 too. I wonder what happened to her mum.

Tbh I hate these kinds of programmes because they create a false picture of how adoptees seek out their birth parents and there is this emotionally ecstatically happy reunion and we can only imagine that they all live happily ever after.

When in reality there are so many birth parents who simply don’t want to know, or when the reunion happens it turns out they have nothing in common/the relationships are toxic and reunion has possibly done more harm than good. But they obviously don’t talk about those, and yet they must happen even with regard to that show.

I wonder how many successes they have vs failures.

Maybe he could remember, but just didn't want to say? He didn't look ashamed did he? Not at all :(

@Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow We get it, you are DISGUSTED!

He’s already got loads of kids he knows about, by different women, he’s probably fathered half of Liverpool.

He doesn’t look embarrassed at all.

The poor woman. You can't imagine how desperate you would have to be.
I am really surprised by how prevalent child abandonment seems to be/ have been. You think of it as something unusual or shocking but so many poor people..

Its not ideal but he certainly isn't the only person. Im a female of 40 and would never be able to recall all the names I have been with, some would be a first name and some I just can't recall let alone in another 20 years time.

And you can't remember a detail about any of the people you had sex with @RedHotChiliChips?? Because that's the bit that's fairly shocking. He doesn't have a single clue, tidbit, breadcrumb at all ..I find it hard to believe!

@OnlyInYourDreams

Tbh I hate these kinds of programmes because they create a false picture of how adoptees seek out their birth parents and there is this emotionally ecstatically happy reunion and we can only imagine that they all live happily ever after.

When in reality there are so many birth parents who simply don’t want to know, or when the reunion happens it turns out they have nothing in common/the relationships are toxic and reunion has possibly done more harm than good. But they obviously don’t talk about those, and yet they must happen even with regard to that show.

I wonder how many successes they have vs failures.

I often wonder about this too. It actually must be quite difficult to accept and include a complete stranger into your family. Curiosity may drive the meet up first but once that dies, it must be hard to keep including this new person if you don't have anything in common.

I also wonder if there is participants and episodes filmed where they have found the birth mother but they don't want anything to do with it. So these episodes never get aired. And based on the judgemental comments here about sleeping around, no wonder some may not want to be in TV at all.

I would have absolutely no problem with him riding rings around himself with whomever he can get to consent . It is the lack of protection.

Do people really have lots and lots of unprotected casual sex??

@ugzbugslz but you concede yourself that you know some details of some of the people you had sex with...that would be something to go on at least. So for him to have nothing at all is doubtful.

I can imagine that many people are rejected by their birth parents. It can't always be a happy reunion or they just don't want to meet them.

@Horehound

And you can't remember a detail about any of the people you had sex with *@RedHotChiliChips*?? Because that's the bit that's fairly shocking. He doesn't have a single clue, tidbit, breadcrumb at all ..I find it hard to believe!

Well no, I can't recall what some of them were called, that was 30 years ago. It surely can't be that shocking

Yes there will no doubt be a fair amount who don't want to be contacted or anything to do with the child.
But that doesn't mean some people can't find happiness...so what's the problem?

A friend was adopted as a baby and met with biological father in adulthood. Dad was very welcoming and wanted gather friend into the folds of his family but friend found it really overwhelming and backed right off. It was essentially a stranger.

@Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow

I would have absolutely no problem with him riding rings around himself with whomever he can get to consent . It is the lack of protection.

Do people really have lots and lots of unprotected casual sex??

In defence of myself I did insist in protection but in general all the young men would have been more than willing to ride away without anything. And these were all normal, nice young boys if you get my drift.

For me, I felt sad that she didn't get the outcome she was looking for, rather than his story. And for her to be told that he didn't have a clue who her mother might be made it even harder to watch.

I ' enjoyed myself' in the late 80s and 90s too but it was always, always protected.

The fact that he went on to have 6 further kids to different mothers doesn't reflect well on him i think.

@RedHotChiliChips yes but you can remember some

That's the difference. He claims to know fucking nothing. It just doesn't ring true.

And I'm not saying it's horrendous to have a fair few partners, so did I but I can definitely remember most names or at least first names plus where they went to uni or where they worked etc so would have something to go on.
Also made sure to take the pill and the guy to wear a condom. Not just for protection from pregnancy but also from STIs...

@monkeyblonde

For me, I felt sad that she didn't get the outcome she was looking for, rather than his story. And for her to be told that he didn't have a clue who her mother might be made it even harder to watch.

I agree and I think further down the line she might resent him for not given her any kind of breadcrumb of information to go on.

Do people really have lots and lots of unprotected casual sex??

Yes, lots of people do. Or have contraceptive failures.

I agree with @RedHotChiliChips - I'm not at all surprised that someone wouldn't remember all the people they slept with, back when they were out drinking and clubbing. Just think of all the young ones on 18-30 holidays for example - I bet they have no clue who've they've had sex with. I'm surprised people were shocked by this guy, tbh. I thought it was nice that she found her father.

It’s only his word that it was consensual. Poor girl, I didn’t get a good vibe from him at all. He wasn’t a bit sorry he didn’t know who he’d shagged.

I dunno, all the events 30 years ago are kind of muddled together and bit hazy on the finer detail.