Father Ted

[purrswhileheeats]

My favourite episode was on More4 earlier - The Mainland. I've seen it so many times but it still makes me cry laughing.

My dad and my ex boyfriend are Irish and they nearly came to blows in a restaurant fighting over who was paying the bill

Nobody has mentioned the bit wherers Doyle brings out the scones!

"They've got cocaine in them!
.
.
long pause
.
.
oh no I mean raisins"

😂

The one where Dougal does the funeral!

The apparently obscure B-side by Nin Hugo & The Hugenots - so sad that the whole band and everybody involved in making the record all died in a tragic accident.

"Ooooooooooh, no, Ted, we couldn't do that!"
"No, Dougal - think of it as a tribute to them all - just one that we can't tell a single person about!"

"Oh, thank you, Bishop; thank you so much, that's wonderful news!"

"No luck then, Ted?"

Crying laughing here.

I defy anyone with taste in TV to pick up a model cow without saying, "Small..................................far away".

Father ted is the best! DRINK! ARSE! FECK!

The one where Mrs Doyle offers Tommy teirnan a cup of tea. "Ah no, if i drink tea there's a 70%chance ill die" ....'will you have one anyway"

I had a serious allergic reaction to quorn. So now if im checking labels or i dont facy something "if i eat this, theres a 70%chance I'll die"

If we have an issue at work 'is there ANYTHING to be said for another mass"

"Ted, I really want to go on the Chair Of Death! They call it that because there was a young lad killed on it last year."

When the foreign visitors apologetically give Dougal a (then) state of the art video recorder as a diplomatic gift, and then proudly go on to present Ted with a hideous little fertility statue with an enormous 'lad'

Oh, and when Ted physically covers his cup over with his hand, to communicate firmly to Mrs Doyle that he does not want any more tea - and she just goes right on ahead and pours boiling water straight over his hand anyway

Oh, I love Dougal's clueless/ gormless/ vacant face, he doesn't have to say anything! Also, when they are playing charades when Father Jack has supposedly died is brilliant! Dougal can't get " Jaws" and guesses all sorts of daft stuff and says something like " Ghostbusters, then Ghostbusters 2 " they're very different films, Ted!" Also when Dougal was warned not to mention the Bishop's son in the us and you are watching his face, knowing he's going to say something!

Father Noel Furlong torturing everyone with his version of Bohemian Rhapsody when they’re lost in the caves - ‘can you do the fandango?’

Mrs Doyle and her pal coming to blows over who pays for the tea in The Mainland. Also Fr Jack at AA.

Fr Dougal’s incredulity at the visiting priest’s literal belief in the Bible, leading to him giving up the priesthood.

The two farmers freaking out Chris the sheep: ‘OoooOoooh’ ‘OOOOhhhh’

Mrs Doyle falling out of the window.

Tempting Fr Jack out of his chair with a bottle of whisky.

Ted driving along with a naked man clinging to the bonnet of his car.

I could go on for days.

Come on horsey, take this lump of sugar, you know you really want it

Fleasandkeef yes loved that bit. Doesn’t ted get excited and say ‘cocaine really?’ Then change his mind when he realises it’s raisins 😂

So many classic moments but Kicking Bishop Brennan up they arse makes me helpless. @Glinner is my hero. Needs support after being permanently banned from Twitter for standing up for women.

Thank you @RuudGullitOnAShed I’ll check it out.

"He's probably very cold now that his towel's blown away."

Jack's selective deafness.
"Is that a film you're watching?"
"WHAT?"
"Is that Kiefer Sutherland?"
"WHAT?"
"Is that Flatliners?"
"WHAT?"
(Quietly) "Would you like a glass of brandy?"
"Yes."

"Girls, pay attention, we've got a special treat today. Father Jack has just very kindly agreed to take you all for volleyball practice; and he's just reminded me that it's very warm today, so there'll be no need for your tracksuit tops."

I never thought that I'd see the like. What next? Somebody will be murdered, and then where are we? Drive by shootings in the night, it'll be like Boys in the Hood. And then they'll have hoes selling their wares in the middle of the street and the pimps will be using crack cocaine to keep the whores under control. I'm going home now Father to lock meself in the basement til they catch that fella. Good-bye to ye father.

When Dougal says, ‘you’re not meant to take it seriously Ted’ about Heaven & Hell etc. His face when Ted is insistent that yes, he is meant to take it seriously!

Father Larry Duff, always disturbed by a phone call from Ted to the point of personal injury.

If any of us in the family are being boring one of the others will mutter “Alright there, Father Stone?”

Tunnel of goats

The bit where Dougal had been allowed to do a funeral, the hearse is in flames in the grave, there are survivors being led away, an ambulance is involved...

YOU LET DOUGAL DO A FUNERAL??!

Father Noel Furlong in The Caves,,

"When they get into the plane crash and start eating other"

"Look here's me eating Tony, Nom, Nom, Nom"