MAFS Down Under Series Five - Come on . . . join us on the dark side . . you know you want to . . . [grin[

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

Ready for the next car crash carnage - please fill up other thread first. I'm sure you can think of something.

(If anyone else has started a thread, let me know and I'll delete this one.

As Lark said.

lookatmyfuckingredtrousers.blogspot.com/2011/11/durham-rt-society.html

Omg Troy is revolting. That kiss, the toothpaste.
So pleased for John.

I hope it’s not a spoiler to say that I read that Troy didn’t apply for the process. I guess someone in the production company had come across him and thought he would make great TV or some such.

@VinylDetective

Troy actually has the emotional capacity and attention span of an under exercised spaniel. He would love to hump Ashley’s leg, but he’s learned from previous experiences that this isn’t always welcome

😂😂😂😂

Thank you, that’s brilliant Rinder.

Double brilliant! What an image!!

Omg just watching last nights episode.

Troy is utterly repellent. He’s got them all under his spell though hasn’t he? Only Summer seems to have got the measure of him. He’s as fake as a seven pound note.

John and Melissa show promise.

Troy’s sister said in the press that she thought he was a virgin when he went into the show.

Why doesn’t that surprise me? You’d have to be desperate.

@Egghead68

Troy’s sister said in the press that she thought he was a virgin when he went into the show.

Prediction number one coming to bear fruit

It would explain a lot.

If you watch the reception, Troy is spending all his time looking around the room to see who is looking at him. In common with Jo he could be marrying anyone, he just wants the adoration and his moment of fame. Ashleys sister has copped onto this narc pattern early I see.

@Egghead68

Troy’s sister said in the press that she thought he was a virgin when he went into the show.

SchadenRinder Incorporated strikes again!

We would be the best experts, Schadenfreude. We’d be too successful; every couple would end up blissfully married except one, that had been specifically matched for maximum drama.

We could do it the other way Rinder - every couple except one would cause drama.

There would be foot-stamping, sobbing, slammed doors and shrieks of "Why do you never have my back?!" The girls would make a huge fuss over nothing as well.

And all through it, like a pair of elegant swans, a single perfectly matched couple would glide, serenely, into the sunset . . . we would have annual catch-ups and admire their perfect children and millions would envy their wonderful lives . . .

Is one enough to prove we know our stuff? Can we settle on 50:50? Half perfectly matched (but with enough differences to make their match unclear straight away so you get that nice build up), the other half utter disasters (with just enough in common to make them look like they’re perfect for each other in the early days, but ultimately there will be enough cracks to get them to explode like a cheap pressure cooker)?

I think that’s what they currently aim for, but they’re too crap at finding the good couples and their bad couples are too clearly awful. We need an Abandrew who seems like a good sort but really isn’t.

Okay I've caught up on last nights episode, I was unfortunately socialising so couldn't watch it live (sorry everyone, I didn't have your back!)

I love NPJ and Mel, they seem like a great match.

Troy comes across as a 'player' but seems to know very little about women and seemed incredibly uncomfortable when Ashley (?!) said she was happy to share a bed with him! I agree with a PP's suggestion that Troy could actually be gay.

Also millionaire next episode...should be interesting!

Fair enough Rinder - we can meet each other half-way on this - but we need at least one couple that makes everybody get tearful when they appear on screen, ruffling each other's hair playfully and sharing a bowl of cornflakes and are respectfully affectionate with each other, one couple who shg each other senseless the entire series then never speak again afterwards, one couple who shg each other senseless then the bloke decides that they aren't suited, but not until the day after he's told her that they are made for each other and she has sold her house, rehomed her dog, resigned from her job to devote herself to him body and soul, and told all of her friends that he is The One and it's all over Farcebook.

Oh - and a batsh*t wumman who wears slingback wellies with her wedding dress and complains that the tofu is vegan.

@SchadenfreudePersonified

Fair enough Rinder - we can meet each other half-way on this - but we need at least one couple that makes everybody get tearful when they appear on screen, ruffling each other's hair playfully and sharing a bowl of cornflakes and are respectfully affectionate with each other, one couple who shg each other senseless the entire series then never speak again afterwards, one couple who shg each other senseless then the bloke decides that they aren't suited, but not until the day after he's told her that they are made for each other and she has sold her house, rehomed her dog, resigned from her job to devote herself to him body and soul, and told all of her friends that he is The One and it's all over Farcebook.

Oh - and a batsh*t wumman who wears slingback wellies with her wedding dress and complains that the tofu is vegan.

Good relationships are about compromise, Schadenfreude. I’ve got your back.

All the above will be just as ordered. With an extra side of utter bastard who is so clearly not interested and says so to the camera, but refuses to let her down gently because he’s enjoying the W go trip of her liking him, who doesn’t realise that no one else will want to date him afterwards and eventually gets his comeuppance when we show her what he’s actually been doing (under the pretence of trying to fix things).

Perhaps he could also be pursing a career in the entertainments industry, too Rinder. Maybe he writes songs, and plays the guitar, and could serenade his "surgically enhanced "wife" on the beach, subjecting her to more public embarrassment in 10 minutes than most of us face n a lifetime, even if we are Newcastle United supporters . . .

Just finished watching this week’s episodes, and have been really enjoying reading all your observations on this thread!

So...Troy. WTF? There is something really amiss about Troy. Part of me wonders if he has gone on it as a dare or some sort of performance art to be as ridiculous and objectionable as possible. Either that or he’s just not quite neurotypical. Possibly gay as PPs have suggested.

Sorry- didn’t mean to imply that being gay makes a person not neurotypical! I realise it reads a bit like that but that’s definitely not what I meant!

And what the HELL is his accent?

Also, lookey-likeys:

Alycia reminds me of Ellie Goulding but I think she (Alycia) is prettier.

Tracey reminds me of (a younger) Priscilla Presley. Too much meddling with fillers and what not.

Quite clearly there has been a chemical reaction between toothpaste and tuna that has created an effervescence of such magnitude it has stunted Troy’s social capacities. (Either that or he’s a dick),
He might, just might, be a nice person under all that bizarre repulsiveness but I just don’t know. I’m so confused, maybe I need to listen to my heart/head/gut/evil twin/poisonous best mate/horrible mother in law. Strewth, I need a DREAM...

And Thumbface. Just yuck.

I agree with the PP that said that Troy isn't neurotypical. I was watching him and not enjoying it. Especially in contrast to the other couple who were so grounded. I felt uncomfortable.

I can only think the footage is cut to ribbons because Ashley is clearly bright and insightful and would have picked all of this up and yet in the clips used it's like she isn't seeing the weirdness.

I would only have to witness teeth cleaning like that once and I would be out the door. There are limits.

@waterlego

Sorry- didn’t mean to imply that being gay makes a person not neurotypical! I realise it reads a bit like that but that’s definitely not what I meant!

It's OK - we knew what you meant.