Does *anyone* think Claire Verity's methods are kind of OK and we are hugely overreacting?

[Pruners]

Message withdrawn

Not a very heavy disguise, is it?

i spoke to my mother shortly in the morning having dreamt about that woman and what i saw on there. she can remember he friends who could afford nannies in the 70's working theeir way through nannies as it wasnt working as to how they wanted. it was like a baby was an inconvenience and what immediately came to my mind was if you treat these babies in this way by closing them in the dark, distancing them away from your body whilst feeding and offering no cuddles or time etc, im sure they are the ones that grow into adults not being able to be affectionate and dont know how to recieve it either and have issues with emotional problems. even when she tried to comfort the lady with the glasses when she could hear her baby screaming, it was such a fake forceful rub of the arm. look at her herself not married, no kids, not able to show affection and just her and her flashy BMW!!!

Yes, this is the generation who does not get a divorce, and bottle everything in, because "what would the neighbours say". This is the generation where homosexuality does not exist, and where you dont confide your problems, because you are scared of being a nuisance, and ashamed because you have concerns about something. This is the generation where fathers distanced themselves from their families and said babies are womens work, caring is womens work, where men did not become nurses, but strive to "make it" and work long hours and come home and dont share his day with his wife. Where women would have sex motionless and wait for it to be over, as it was just her duty.

I had a similar experience to NG - DS was 7 months and crying after I'd put him down for a nap. I left him for a short while but then went up to check as it was fairly unusual for him to cry so much. Turned out he was having an anaphalactic shock and his face had completely swollen up. God knows what would have happened if I'd left him.

Now I can't leave him crying for more than a few minutes.

Not read the whole thing (will do now).

But yes, I think CVs methods are OK in that she is just an individual with a specific viewpoint and participation in her methods is down to individual choice (would not be my choice though).

Unless there is some conclusive evidence that her methods cause emotional, developemantal or physical damage then IMO its simply one way of parenting.

There are pretty horrific things that parents do to their children, but I doubt that those who go to the trouble of choosing a 'method' of parenting would be the ones to be abusive or neglectful. Lack of concern/interest has to be much more damaging.

Having said all that, I do believe that there has been over-reaction (I say this only because it's part of the OPs question) but hey, I'm all for sticking up for what you believe in.

Message withdrawn

But part of this method is lack of interest.
I also wondered if CV babies smile and laugh late, as they don't get eye contact. When DS smiled the first few times he was copying us smile so if we smiled at something funny, he would 'get the joke' a few seconds later - you could almost see his brain processing it!

Polarbear, Dr Sears, who advocates attachment parenting which is similar to the Continuum Concept, claims that you could tell attachment parented babies, because of their steady and sociable eye contact. Well, that is what he says.

I have to admit [preen] both my dcs were very interactive and sociable as babies, though that could be nature, rather than nurture.

Message withdrawn

JV there's plenty of evidence that denying babies love and comfort damages them.

Neural pathways and all that. (too technical for me but I get the gist)

no read this whole thread but find it interesting that so called experts who support these types of methods don't seem to have children of their own (the one who can't be mentioned doesn't have her own children either). It's far easier to detach from other people's childrens' distress than your own. Personally just think it is extremely cruel and could never leave my ds crying and distress like that. Don't know how the parents on the show did it either.

starrystarrynight that exactly what i mean!!

Haven't read all of thread and as someone who resorted to screaming at the tv can't say I agree with cvs methods!

BUT...

I could understand why the particular parents chose this method. The ones with the twins seemed to like being told what to do (when interviewed before the birth!) I would imagine if I was expecting twins first time around I would be very unsure about it all and would also crave strong and clear advice!! (just to be reassured) - don't we all feel this a little first time around??
The second couple - the woman appeared to have had a planned c-section (don't know for sure) and was wondering if her reasons was again about control- older daughter, different partner who is a 1st time parent - maybe its about trying to make transition to new situation easier.
Maybe they all really hadn't realised how restrictive it would all be.

HOWEVER - I also thought it wasn't just about her methods as bad as they were - I thought that CV acted like a complete bully - I would have had trouble standing up to her even without post birth emotions.

CV reminded me of the staff I had watched a few days earlier in the programme about the Bulgarian institutes.

The way she wrapped that baby up and then whacked it roughly down on the bed, the wee soul looked so startled. Childless gurus are fine for the technicalities but not the emotional side of parenting. That you really do need to have experienced it, heart surgery notwithstanding.

What I'm really afraid of is that her methods will be discredited in the worst possible way, ie that she will insist that parents ignore a crying baby - and that baby will have something seriously wrong with them - and the parents will be just sitting there while the baby dies alone.

Looking at the number of 'near-misses' people have described on this thread, where they responded to their baby crying and were just in time to save them, I think the scenario I've described is only a matter of time.

I ahven't read the entire thread but I too found this hard to watch... poor babies and POOR parents !!!!
BTW Claire Verity has no child but neither has Jean Liedloff (the author of the continuum concept). Several of you are showcked that Claire has no baby... how cna she be an expert.... well Jean has no kid either and has also made a career as a child guru.

anyway ladies, i've got ep3 here... wish me luck.

You should get danger pay for being forced to watch this stuff.

Am glad we live in NZ and don't have TV. Or CV.

ho-kay, so DV is advocating giving less milk in the daytime (1 and a half oz of milk!) so that they'll be 'starving' by bedtime and will sleep. also she's waking them an hour earlier from afternoon nap so they'll be shattered. they are SCREAMING their heads off and their parents aren't picking them up. the mum is crying again. she truly is an idiot.

CV, not DV

My mum did things CV's way. My bruv was left out in his pram for hours (and he was born in North of Scotland in winter). My mum said she used to brush the snow off his pram!

When I asked if I ever cried when she left me outside she said she didn't know I was too far down the garden for her to hear.

I'm OK but we both have self esteem issues and don't feel that our mum is very good on cuddles and/or love. She's a nurse so looked after us well, but it's not just about that it is it? A friend of mine had a mum who looked after her OK but didn't cuddle etc. - at least her mum had an excuse, she was schizophrenic. My friend also suffers with self esteem and self worth.

I have 2 dds and I have treated them the same way - co-sleeping, sling wearing etc. The first is a poor sleeper, no routine etc. The second slept at least 5 hours st night from birth and slept through by 12 weeks, has a very distinct routine (not done by me). It's not me, it's the way they are. My job as a mum is to care and love them and understand them the way they are, not to 'train' them. Also my joy as a mum is to cuddle, to hug, to carry, to sing and to kiss them.

I agree with Tanya Byron who recently said that we've concentrated too much on managing our babies and forgotten how to enjoy and love them.

wow Dreena is REALLY against public bfing. as is CV, not unsurprisingly.
"why not feed in a toilet? it's a seat." Dreena
"we don't drop our trousers at the dinner table" says CV

Link to petition the PM to protect children from dangerous parenting shows
petitions.pm.gov.uk/parentingshows/

Jean Leidloff didn't set herself up as a child guru. Her book is about 150 pgs long and afai can recall everything written about childcare would not take up 5 pages. The life of children is written as another integral part of commentary on the how Yequana live.

Other people subsequently turned to her book for inspiration.

Later on in the book, it talks about how not holding children enough may lead adults to drug dependency. She speculates that maybe, just maybe it is one reason why heroin seems to be so difficult to break and give her reasons why. I know she isn't or wasnt at the time an anthropologist or a medical researcher.

There is a Continuum Concept website which looks more at the childcare side of thing but it is in no way prescriptive. Rather than say anything about it, you can visit it here