Does *anyone* think Claire Verity's methods are kind of OK and we are hugely overreacting?

[Pruners]

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sorry about typos indignation has affected my spelling, obviously

It was awful, really upsetting.
Leaving a newborn (1day old!) to cry endlessly whilst you had a glass of wine???
The Dad asking "Are we allowed to kiss her?"
Her reply? "No"

Awful Awful Awful

You see I don't get that routines and cuddles are mutually exclusive. You develop a routine and incorporate cuddles into that. Even now as part of my 3yo's bedtime routine, we cuddle up in her bed and read a story, then she runs off to kiss her Daddy and brother (or me if DH is doing her story) and then I turn out the light and we cuddle back up in her bed and talk about what she is doing the next day.

And same for my 6yo actually. And I can tell he really appreciates those few minutes of cosiness without his sister diving in.

Obviously we cuddle at other times too, but just saying because you cuddle you don't have to abandon all routine.

I don't remember any disclaimers- overall feeling was that they were trying to rpesent it as research, which frankly was a laugh!

Haven't had time to read all posts but my DS2 has a cows milk intolerances and it wasn't diagnosed until he was around 5 months old. He cried inconsolably for most of the day (honestly) and was awake most of the night. (some of you will have seen my desperate threads on teh subject). THe poor little mite was in pain but he coudl have just looked as though he was a 'difficult' baby. HOrrendous to think someon like that would try and force him to 'behave'.

It's just grim, it really is.

I think she sounds very sensible. Babies will take over your life if you let them.

No disclaimers AFAIK
Peachy so sorry to hear about your cousin's son

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LOL SueBaroo - quite.

No, I can't keep it up. I think routine is fab, but I think Clare verity's methods are draconian.

Routines are fine- and can incolve cuddles of course Bozza. I don't think it was the routine that worried me- more the complete lack of quality interaction between aprent and baby, along with silly stuff sucha s leave baby in a gardena way from your sight (Mum always said she ignored that advice when I was born as there was a spate of babt snatches), and the advice that contravenes that given out by SIDS- irresponsible.

SueBaroo - I was just going to ask!!
There' nothing wrong with routines, but a 4 hour feeding routine for a newborn is just wrong!

I have left my babies in the garden - if they have fallen asleep in the pram I would wheel them into the back garden and leave them outside the kitchen window while I got on with kitchen chores. If I brought them in and had to undress them from winter clobber etc it would have woken them. But like everything there is a degree to what I was doing - I didn't leave them in the front garden in the rain and go for a nap.

The poor little scrap

That was in relation to a newborn being left unfed, not your last post bozza.

I cried - the woman and her methods are awful and amount to child cruelty.

Well, she contradicts herself, doesn't she?

She say that babies are manipulative little buggers who try to trick you into giving them attention, and that if you've fed them well, you should ignore them, and then she says that you should ration feeds out to four hour cycles. Dribbling nonsense.

Mind you, I my 7 month old has sectioned off a corner of his cot as a war-room. He's set up his toys so he can plan strategic maneuvers against me should he not get his own way. Cunning little sod.

peachy so sad about your cousin's boy. I am not really an advocate of leaving babies, mine were both in a cot in our room until 6 months, but among my family/friends this was unusual.

Horrific. Even my 22 year old, childless, male friend who was round last night was shocked.

Not kissing them? Not cuddling them? Not holding them close while you feed them? All my instincts would have been screaming at me that it was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

My happiest memories of dd as a newborn was sitting cuddling her while I fed her, or continuing to cuddle after the feed (and trying to do Countdown one handed). Or just lying on the settee watching her in her chair as she slept. I'd spend hours doing that, studying every little bone, every eye lash, watching every little movement and thinking how amazing she was and how happy she was making me. I didn't go through what I did to get her to stick her out in the garden and ignore her.

They're just little and helpless and need love and attention. They're made that way, we're made that way - isn't it bloody obvious. She's just vile. I would have hated to be one of the film crew.

You can't let babies have it all their own way. Fresh air is good for them. They should fit into your lifestyle. Compromise is good from both sides. Of course you should give them cuddles appropriately, but not just when they want one, because they're determined not to sleep, or they're being greedy./ You aren't helping them by being such a soft touch.

she also says no cuddles apart from feed and bath time
Then says don't hold them close when you feed
Sounds like she's forgotten her script

See, my worry is that this beings CV's methods into the mainstream.

E.g. The Times: "As for the rival methodologies, they may each be right... If a winner is declared, a bit of me is rooting for Verity, partly because the other nannies are so beastly to her..."