Does *anyone* think Claire Verity's methods are kind of OK and we are hugely overreacting?

[Pruners]

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Have just read this Daily Mail Article

Basically it comes out in favour of Claire Verity's methods. It's grim.

The Claire Verity mother says:

"Had someone told me a year ago that my nine-week-old twins would sleep their way through a house party that went on until 4am, I would have laughed in their face. But thanks to the Fifties Truby King regime, my children rarely cry and were settled into a regular feeding pattern from day one.

When the Truby King method was suggested, Colin and I jumped at the chance. The theory behind it is that babies don't need cuddles or hugs.

Now friends who initially disapproved of our decision, and who are now expecting children of their own, are clamouring to follow our lead."

It does make you go cold, doesn't it? I had something similar with Dd3, after I'd been trying to get her to settle (I had big PND with her) and I went back to her after 20 minutes because I just couldn't leave her like that, and her leg had got caught between the cot bars and the mattress.

Maybe that cold feeling is just some trick that babies play on us.

I've done controlled crying. We checked every 10 mins, and said "goodnight" firmly before leaving. Never when they were newborn though. Once they had stopped crying I would always check to make sure they had stopped crying to go to sleep and nothing untoward had happened to them.

Like anything else, parenting is fraught with dangers and opinions. Some African tribes swaddle the babies to trees every time they cry and leave them. The baby soon realises that when it cries it gets tied to a tree. Over here that would be classed as cruelty, over there it is their culture.

We all bring our babies up differently and what is good for one is bad for another. If, as a parent, you are comfortable with what you are doing then you shouldn't let anyone else tell you otherwise. CC worked for us but I would never sell it to others as a solution, I would give it to them as a choice.

'clamouring to follow our lead'

Daahlink, it's just not the done thing to look into your baby's eyes. And what are you doing with it in your arms? You'll knock your canapes and Soave Classico over...

This wasn't even CC though. It was just abandoning them.

i did CC too rhuby. with our then 5mo pfb. was really really reluctant to try it, but was a life saver for me. im not militantly anti or for anything... but i do beleive in trusting instincts. not just inparenting either.
its what we have them for.

Very true. Trust your instincts.
Every parenting book should come with a warning "WHILST THE PROCEDURES IN THIS BOOK MAY BE BENEFICIAL FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY, PLEASE DO BE AWARE THAT EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT AND THE ADVICE GIVEN IN THIS BOOK IS JUST THAT, ADVICE, YOU MAY FOLLOW IT OR CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE. PARENTHOOD DOESN'T FOLLOW ONE ROAD, IT HAS MANY OFFSHOOTS THAT ALL LEAD TO THE SAME PLACE."

Haven't read the other posts so sorry if I'm repeating. I can see the need for routine to help manage our busy lives. But I totally disagree with the "no touching or cuddling between feeds" rule. That's madness and goes against all human instinct imo.

I think off the back of this and considering CV can make a career of this why can't I?? I'm going to write a childrearing book.
Chapter One .. Follow your instincts.
Chapter Two .. Love and enjoy your baby
Chapter Three .. Develop sense of humour
Chapter Four .. www.mumsnet.com
Chapter Five .. go back to bookstore and demand refund. . . .

agreed.

he damn books should all be condensed to about 4 pages anyway, since what new parent actually has time or inclination to trawl thier way thru much further than that anyway?? ive a shelf-full of unread baby books!

MP, I wonder if they'll do a follow-up programme to see how those poor twins who were starved of affection in their early months fare when they're older.

Although I reckon that anyone harsh enough to leave their babies to sob their hearts out probably wouldn't be able to bring up well-adjusted children anyway.

I wonder how CV was treated when she was a baby? I think GF's stance is clearly taken from what she sees as her own dysfunctional childhood and a rebellion against it. But CV's I'm less sure of - I know she's talked about watching how animals raise their young on farms (and certainly she seemed to prefer the fox to the baby...).

I haven't read the thread but did see the programme last night.
In answer to the OP no I don't think any of her methods are ever ok.
I would not have put my babies outside in the garden for a million pounds, never mind restrict how much milk they were allowed or ignore a crying newborn.
Yes, my children know how to wheedle another 10 mins of chat out of me at bedtime and have been known to cry when they want a bit of attention but I would hate for it to never cross their minds to look to me for comfort, attention and love.

These people are working against her, and is launching many complaints. You can sign a petition with them.

against Claire Verity blog

I'd love to quiz CV on how the transition's made from "ignored baby" to "person who has rights and opinions of their own".

It was dreadful.She is extremely cold and seems to enjoy it.She thinks babies are manipulative.I actually cried i was so distressed to see the baby crying in it's cot on it's first night home and when she pickedmup the other one and it's hand was trembling...CV was saying "see,it just wants attention".I cannot understand why the woman with glasses didn't rush upstairs and comfort her baby..i think it's disgusting behaviour and can't understand why they opted for that method.

I think her routine is for the people who have maternity nurses,then nannies and then send their kids to boarding school when they are 5.

Shockingly disempowered parents.

How can you get to a stage when you are ignoring everything your instincts are telling you, plus everything your HV, GP and MW are telling you, to put your trust in some celebrity nanny?

What's the matter with these people? Is this the Heat culture finding its way into childcare? If so, God help the next generation. Apart from anything else, are the children of celebs such positive role models, that we want the people who looked after them to give us advice? Nicole Ritchie? Jack and Kelly Osborne? Peaches Geldof? Are these admirable, functional characters? Did their nannies do a fabulous job?

My mum nannied for the Osbournes for a while...hink main prob there aint the nannies

Am sure this must have been mentioned elsewhere: but did anyone notice a disclaimer saying that putting your baby to sleep in a separate room from the parents for the first 6 MONTHS let alone from DAY 1 is contrary to SIDS guidelines?

If not, isn't this negligent of the channel. Was it C4? Can't remember.

LOL. I'm saying nothing, I'm unaware of the Osbourne's parenting techniques. (I wish they'd repeat that series, I never watched it. IT simply never occurred to me tht it would be entertaining or enlightening. But perhaps it was.)

snurk

(that means snigger, but a bit more murkily, right?)

Round the Osbournes' way there are lots of celebs. And frankly the Osbournes are the least of anyone's problem. There are other celebrities who are much worse neighbours...

You know, I can see where the Trbuy-King theory she uses might have come from. It's a feasible hypothesis that a newborn needs to be left to sleep and grow (and remember, Truby King wanted to help raise healthy virtuous babies according to the mores of the time). It is also possible to overstimulatie a little baby ( a tired baby wants to sleep not have rattles waved at it etc). But if your hypothesis is proved wrong by testing and experimentation, the hypothesis should be discarded.

It is still common in Norway to leave babies outdoors in their prams for nap time. Even in snow. But the prams are special padded prams, and the babies are in sheepskin sleeping bags, often with duvets and wind/rain proof top covers, and there are cotton cellular blankets over the hood and down to keep wind and snow off, there are cat nets, mosquito nets, and all sorts of protection.

But they are usually left with a baby monitor so the carer can hear if the baby is crying and tend to it accordingly.

Emmaljunga Pram

CV does not like babies, that is clear. But she reserves her special contempt for the 'wimpy' parents. She is a sadist in disguise.