I MAY DESTROY YOU - mon and tue bbc 1045

[Blondeshavemorefun]

New dram series starts tonight on bbc 1

With only hours left to deliver a draft of a book to her publishers , writer Arabella is tempted into a night out with a friend ........


the series is set in London and centers around the story of a young woman who must rebuild her life after her drink is spiked with a date rape drug

[dublingirl66]

Genius show !!

Watched most episodes now 2-3 times 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻❤️❤️❤️

[famousforwrongreason]

Thank you @covetingthepreciousthings

[PerditaProvokesEnmity]

Wow.

Episode 6 made my hair stand on end.

Some of you seem to have missed the fact/implication that Theo's whole support group thing is based on lies. She's a damaged individual who has learnt to get what she wants through invention and manipulation. She wasn't sexually abused by her father. Nor by Ryan. It was a lie on both occasions. So we may assume that there is no actual sexual abuse trauma in her adult life either. She's created the group for ... attention, adulation, company ...

Extraordinary writing, explosive, controversial material. It's just amazing. Michaela Coel is truly to be congratulated.

[pinkpinecone]

Such an incredible series, it's so well written and acted and is very thought provoking.

I was fascinated by the complexities around the power dynamics in episode 6.

On one hand there's a girl saying she's been assaulted by a boy and it's right to assume anyone who says they have been assaulted is telling the truth and then on the other hand there's the issue around race and the fact she's white and he's black so she's more likely to be believed over him.

Then it transpires that she has lied after all which I think was a very interesting development in the storyline. In a series that is about consent and generally seeing things from the eyes of those who are the victims it's interesting to include an instance of a girl who isn't telling the truth - and this of course is also true Theo's mother - and just how damaging and awful this is.

So now it feels like Arabella is quite vulnerable and falling under Theo's spell. Really looking forward to see episode 7, I can never predict where the storylines are going.

[PerditaProvokesEnmity]

She's saying something quite devastating about victimhood as a career move ... About people seeing someone else's trauma and wanting to appropriate it for themselves. Theo might as well have flown a "My Disappointing Life Matters" banner over her school ...

And yes, the power dynamics are terrifying. Just what would Ryan's life have been if Theo had got away with her false accusation?

[NewNewt]

Ryan wasn't totally blameless as well though - or not blame but saying something about the way men see women from a very young age. Wanting to take photos to send his mates, offering to pay for sex. That is also pretty disappointing in a 13/14/15y old boy.

[PerditaProvokesEnmity]

Yes, what he did was grim. But, inadvertently, it saved his life.

(How much better off would Kwame have been if there was video, not photo) evidence of the crime against him?

In the end, something we would all have called gross actually protected this boy (so - every boy like him) from losing everything before he'd even begun adult life.

It really throws into relief the portrayal of all Arabella's black, male friends. We see them laughing, drinking, living their lives as free citizens - and we realise that each of them probably had a Theo, (or some other demon - a racist teacher, a bully, a fight, a false accusation) thrown in their path, something that could have prevented their progression to anywhere but ostracisation, prison, and despair.

[Ihaventgottimeforthis]

Might be a small point but I think Kwame's assault was humping rather than penetration, from snippets of conversation at the police station.

It's another interesting facet to the sexual assault question - serious sexual assault doesn't have to mean penetration, and it is still very traumatic. It's the lack of consent that is the key, rather than the scale/'severity' of the physical assault.

[PerditaProvokesEnmity]

Another smallish point: earlier in the thread I chided the OP for specifying the skin colour and sexuality of the three men at Kwame's hook up - but, in my last post, used the phrase Arabella's black, male friends ...

I'm hoping no one thinks my usage needs justifying, but in case they do - the specific facts of their ethnicity and sex were crucial to the point I was making.

[NewNewt]

I dont think it was just humping because there was discussion about bareback and not using a condom. So Kwame was raped because he said no I don't do bareback. I think he would have been happy to have sex with him again using a condom. I think the crass police officer was the one that bought up humping?

[pinkpinecone]

@NewNewt

In one of the episodes you see his phone search history asking if forced dry jumping is rape (can't remember exact words) and he then says something similar to that terrible police man.

Yet another ambiguous situation which can be perceived to be a grey area and he himself doesn't even know if it's assault.

This is why this programme is so good, it shines a light on all these grey areas and asks the audience to examine them. It's brilliant.

[Chienloup]

Keane said he wasn't sure if there was penetration.

[pinkpinecone]

@NewNewt and re Ryan no he wasn't blameless and this again is why this scenario is so thought provoking on one hand you have the whole issue of teenagers being sexualised so young by easily accessible porn and the fact they can take photos on their phones and share them and how degrading it is to the girls and then you also have the complicated race dynamic. So thinking about this in terms of systemic racism (even if it's an unconscious bias) the presumption is that the white girl is innocent and telling the truth and the black boys is in the wrong as @PerditaProvokesEnmity says if he hadn't taken the photo she could have completely ruined his life.

That situation really got my mind whirring as there was just so much to think about.

[Chienloup]

@Chienloup

Keane said he wasn't sure if there was penetration.

Tsk, autocorrect. Kwame, not Keane.

[buildingbridge]

Ok... so I've finally watch both episodes. I don't understand... is Theo lying? I think she is. I wonder if she is getting her own back on Arabella? Did you hear when Theo, younger self, called the group of Arabella'a friends "Monkeys"? I wonder if she is racist....

I loved the but where Arabella looked shocked when she first met the editor and said "Omg, your black!". It's so true. We don't see many black people in senior roles, especially in publishing and editing. I was really glad they inadvertently highlighted that.

Loved the younger school days, reminds me of my time at school. Loads of laughs .

I'm surprised so many women are expressing shock about the drink and drugs lifestyle

No offence but I'm glad I didn't experience that lifestyle. It looked depressing as fuck!

[SinisterBumFacedCat]

If he hadn’t started taking photos, I don’t think she would have said anything. Theo’s a very strange character, manipulated by her mum to make up false accusations about her dad, who she clearly misses. Thought she loved Ryan until he started sending pics of her to his friends while he was still inside her. She’s now manipulating others with her fake history of abuse, making her as bad as her mum. It’s pretty chilling.

[CherryValanc]

Do you think there's more to Theo? Arabella knows she said she was raped but then she saw the pictures on Marcus's phone, which the were used to she Theo wasn't raped. But still Arabella is in a group run by Theo, in which Theo says she has been assaulted and exploited.

No, @buildingbridge I didn't hear that. I know Theo said something but I couldn't make out what it was. What's she up to then?

(Also do we know who Arabella and Terry were talking about in the loos at school? Embarrassingly, I struggled to figure out the conversation during a lot of the school scenes. I am so very old!)

Another thing, the bit, in school, were Arabella was impressed there was a camera in the phone. Marcus had one because his dad sent it to him. Does that mean Marcus has always be in a life that was financial well off. Getting what he wants because of that?

[Ihaventgottimeforthis]

I think the first time they had consensual sex, Kwame said no bareback so I'm assuming he then used a condom. But the second time was non-consensual dry humping.
It seems odd to be debating the gory details of fictional sexual encounters but it does raise interesting questions around how far consent extends, and that's echoed in the police station... similar to the situation women often talk about it - well, we'd had consensual sex earlier, so was that really rape? He might have thought I was up for it etc etc - the policeman implying that since they'd had consensual sex previously, it would be difficult to prove a rape had happened... a very complex and cleverly built situation, especially with Kwame's reaction.

[SunsetBeetch]

@LatinforTelly

I thought this was good, but like pps, it makes me feel very, very old. So many recreational drugs and casual sex. Glad I'm out of it but I worry for my teens.

It's very well acted. Michaela Coel in particular is brilliant. Are we supposed to know who the rapist is? In the flashbacks I think it looks like the housemate (who said he'd do painting ) but he wasn't on the night out, was he?

No I don't think it was him. Bella didn't show any signs of knowing him when they met in the bar.

That latest episode - wow!

[NewNewt]

I thought that about the housemate too!!

Don't we think its odd that none of them asked who had been arrested? And what has happened to Simon? Presumably the story will come back to that next week.

[Ulysses]

Surely there’s something that happened after the rape allegation at school to Theo that merits Arabella trusting her enough to join her group.

[Ulysses]

Ah cross posted @CherryValanc!

[SunsetBeetch]

Was it not this guy who was at the bar and bought the tequila shots and was dancing with them? (Dave/David?)

[InglouriousBasterd]

I felt that Theo’s lie had started her on a path of abusive relationships, that’s what she was suggesting?

I’m really enjoying it but I have to psych myself up to watch it!

[SunsetBeetch]

Same Inglorious

I'm pretty sure it was that Dave guy: looks like his strange floppy fringe and white shirt. Ben's hair is more closely cropped and wouldn't flop around like that. Plus it looks like it happened in a nightclub toilet cubicle?