Rio and Kate : becoming a step family

[covetingthepreciousthings]

Anyone else going to be watching this tonight?

I watched the first one with Rio talking about the grief of losing Rebecca, it was so heartbreaking what the family all went through, I'm so pleased he seems to have found happiness. He seems like a nice guy.

BBC 1 at 9pm tonight.

[Ughmaybenot]

I feel so horrendously terrible for the children to be honest. I think it’s awful the way Rio and Kate are courting publicity when it’s his children’s mother who died.
He can bleat all he likes about how much he loved her but he didn’t love her much when he was fucking anything with a pulse, so I limit my sympathy for him.
As for Kate, I think she goes overboard with the crying and ‘it’s so hard’ but I don’t have strong feelings one way or another. It probably is very hard. The only opinion I have on her harks back to her TOWIE days, and she was awful then, but that was some time ago now.
Imo the children deserve to be taken away from the spotlight and allowed to grieve in private, not filmed in such raw moments. It’s not right, and R&K should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves for subjecting bereaved children to that.

[longcoffee]

I'm a stepmother, who has taken on a teenage stepdaughter in strange circumstances. I was married to her dad and knew her before she moved in with us, and although her mum isn't dead, there's no contact between them, so she's grieving for the loss. However, we still have mum and mums family to manage, and thats very rarely a positive experience.

Like Kate, I don't have any children.

I watched the documentary and agree that some elements were OTT - graveside shots etc. However, Kate articulated things that I have felt, and just can't say. I sat there in tears because some things she said, I've felt at some point, but you can't say it to your partner for fear of sounding selfish, or bratty, or 'less of a mother'. I have always bottled up the feelings and carried on, and it has had a real impact on my mental health, my partner, and our relationship.

When overnight every single piece of you is suddenly thrown into a third person, getting them through something and holding them together day-to-day, there's nothing left of you any more. If it had been a decision we had made, it would be easier to accept, but when a snap call made between two third parties throws your life into disarray, it has a real impact and is hard to get your head around. But you do, because you have to.

We're all only doing our best, but ultimately, when you're thrown into a situation that you have no idea how to handle, you're going to fuck up. I've fucked up, she'll have fucked up, every single mother on here will have fucked up. But a 'normal' mother doesn't have a vicious ex, her family, my own worried family and every bugger else watching on judging those fuck ups.

A normal mum and dad has support, and hopefully can parent their child together, so the don't feel abandoned, full of anger and confusion. Certainly I (and Kate, I think) both not only have to help guide children who have been through awful upheavals, but also have people continually watching for slip ups (his dads springs to mind).

I think ultimately yes, the show was self-promoting and possibly not what I would have done. But, for me, and probably millions in my shoes, it was a blessed relief to see that I'm not the only person dealing with this. It can be a very lonely place to be.

[bobstersmum]

Just watching now. Rebecca only died in 2015, seems a bit crass to me to be on tv remarried less than 5 years later in a documentary like this. Kate seems to be doing her best but I can't see it lasting long term. Seems more stressful for her than anything else.

[Bahhhhhumbug]

Made me laugh how his dad was horrible to her apparently because he didn't trust her and to see if she was a keeper so his grandkids wouldn't be upset all over again (or words to that effect).
Doesn't that rather depend on whether your son can keep it in his trousers this time?
Also taking down late wife's wedding pics from main rooms l kinda understand but taking down ones of their dead paternal grandmother aswell? Really?

[Noodlenosefraggle]

The worst thing for me is that by his own admission he showed little interest in his wife or children when she was alive, then after a few months of having to care for his own children for once in their lives, he moves in some other woman to do it.

[purpleme12]

It did seem a bit like Kate had more to do with the children even when Rio was there, at least it seemed like that from the programme

[AlternativePerspective]

@ bobstersmum don’t think that five years is to quick tbh, regardless of what we think of someone, the bereaved do have a right to move forward with their lives and that will often mean that the kids will be introduced to a new partner at some point

I know someone whose DW died and her widow had a new gf within three months including having her over to stay with the kids and spending “family holidays within six. Now that is too quick IMO. If people must move on then at least don’t drag the kids in too soon. Even if it was a divorce people would consider that to be too soon.....

[Bluerussian]

Thanks Rockimrobin. That article was written in 2011, I thought he married his first wife in 2011.

[suziesue45]

@purpleme12 That was exactly my thoughts too. Kate seemed to be the one wanting to help the kids while Rio just stood around doing nothing to help. He even admitted Kate was the one looking after the kids while he was away, great father figure NOT!

[AudacityOfHope]

I don't know what's 'crass' about being remarried after five years? The kids said they were all happier to be a family unit again with a mother figure in it, so who gives a shit what looks seemly to those outside looking in?

[Christinayangtwistedsister]

Long coffee

What a very honest and insightful post

[CadburySpira]

I felt sorry for Kate, seemed like she has taken on about ninety percent of the parenting and Rio seemed to hardly be doing anything. It did seem like there was only a few days filming involved though so it's not going to be a clear picture. Also seemed like maybe the documentary makers had touted it as being about child bereavement and helping them and other step-families.

[ClappyFlappy]

I only saw the first few minutes. I can’t bear the way society and the media in this country overlooks the shitty way men behave and puts them on pedestals just because they have to face a bit of hardship. I’ll give you not only Rio but Gareth Thomas and Stan Collymore as well

[ooooohbetty]

@bluerussian he married his first wife in 2009 I think. One of the women in the article was seeing him before and after he got married.

[WhatKatyDidNot]

I watched it. I thought Kate came over quite well as genuinely committed to doing her best for the kids. The kids themselves actually seemed more well adjusted and confident in their own skins than either of the adults, who were devoting themselves to endless navel-gazing for the benefit of the cameras.

I didn't like the scenes by the graveside, which seemed exploitative to me and both Kate and Rio seemed intent on manufacturing huge psychodramas and pushing them onto the kids, which made me feel a bit uncomfortable.

Their mother died and their grandmother died. It's impossibly sad. I'm not convinced that making them the centre of a TV documentary, when actually they appear to be coping remarkably well considering, was in their best interests.

[BeaStoic]

Rio and Kate's children will be fine

Rebecca and Rio's children.

[CantSayJack]

Bit late but finally got round to watching.
I feel neither Kate or Rio came off well at all.
Rio won a BAFTA for the first documentary in which he thanked Kate who was sat in the audience (not exactly long after Rebecca passed) not once did he mention Rebecca’s name. I thought that was crass at the time but this documentary takes the biscuit.
He’s allowed cameras to film his children grieving at their Mother and Nans gravesides. Poor Tia, my heart broke for her.
Again, he didn’t seem too concerned when talking about Rebecca, he can barely bring himself to mention her name. He was a serial cheat and doubt he ever loved her yet declared how much he loves Kate which is a slap in the face to Rebecca’s family.
Tia was sobbing at their wedding, again why did he allow that to be filmed?
The way he spoke to his kids about taking down their Mothers photos was so wrong, it was all about how it was making Kate uncomfortable. The mother of his children passed away with a horrendous disease so young and not long ago and all he can think about is his latest cock warmer being uncomfortable. The mind boggles.
As for Kate, she had a lot to do with the photos being taken down and put into a room she doesn’t have to look at. Utterly selfish. How would she feel if pictures of her Mum were removed? No doubt there are now photos of her and Rio and her family all over the place.
It was all about HER and how SHE feels. The way she spoke about Rebecca at times was so disrespectful, especially when she spoke about replacing the kitchen because it was Rebecca’s taste.
She should not be allowed to touch Rebecca’s things, that’s for Rebecca’s family to sort as well as her kids.
She is 100% in this for her own gain, she’s biding her time before she has her own kids so they can take centre stage. Her mask with the kids will fall then, it slipped when she had a go at Tate for touching the dishwasher. She is extremely fake and not a good role model for Tia especially.
It’s only a matter of time before Rio reverts to type and accidentally trips and his penis slips into another woman’s vagina 🙄 he also made a slip of the tongue.... he asked how long they’d been together and said is it ffff (four) when she quickly said 2 🤔
Also, didn’t Kate announce she was going to step away from reality TV and the limelight? Didn’t take her long to get back in it did it? Fame-hungry and landed on her feet. Disgraceful.

It’s the children I feel sorry for, those poor kids 💔

[MissEliza]

It's good they are drawing attention to the issue of child bereavement but their personal situation looks a bit shifty. It doesn't feel right that she seems to be doing the lions share of the parenting. Obviously he needs to go out and make a living but when he was at home, he just seemed to expect to be waited on hand and foot, while Kate ran after the kids.
I thought moving Rebecca's pictures was ridiculous. It was a very poor and selfish decision.

[Cremebrule]

I’ve just watched it and I did warm to Kate more than I was expecting but I did find some of it quite uncomfortable and it is hard watching the documentaries knowing just quite unfaithful Rio had been. The thing that struck me though was how much it was about supporting Kate with the kids, how much she was doing etc. There was part of me that was wondering how much he did and whether he was really moving her in to be a live-in nanny. I suspect that can be a reason a lot of men seem to move quicker than women post divorce or bereavement.

[GetOffYourHighHorse]

'feel so horrendously terrible for the children to be honest. I think it’s awful the way Rio and Kate are courting publicity when it’s his children’s mother who died. He can bleat all he likes about how much he loved her but he didn’t love her much when he was fucking anything with a pulse, so I limit my sympathy for him. As for Kate, I think she goes overboard with the crying and ‘it’s so hard’

Yes, it was just awful and self indulgent. Totally exploiting a tragic situation, they seem so fake imo. What next a book or series called 'The StepMummy Diaries' where she muses on the hardship of marrying a multi millionaire and organising PE kits?

Step families and of course particularly those with bereaved childrencan be emotionally challenging, but you don't share it with the world. The kids deserve privacy.

I didn't watch it all, the graveside scene was totally inappropriate. Did Rebecca's family comment at all? I wonder what they make of Kate's constant 'it's so hard' self pitying. No, I tell you what's 'so hard', dying tragically young and leaving young DC behind.

[Janaih]

@CantSayJack spot on.

Sure she will have her own little cash cow before long.

[WhatKatyDidNot]

What next a book or series called 'The StepMummy Diaries' where she muses on the hardship of marrying a multi millionaire and organising PE kits?

Oh god. You're probably spot on.

[Boredbumhead]

She's doing all the wifework was the impression I got. He wasnt really emotionally engaging with the kids.

[MrsPelligrinoPetrichor]

I feel so horrendously terrible for the children to be honest. I think it’s awful the way Rio and Kate are courting publicity when it’s his children’s mother who died.
He can bleat all he likes about how much he loved her but he didn’t love her much when he was fucking anything with a pulse, so I limit my sympathy for him.
As for Kate, I think she goes overboard with the crying and ‘it’s so hard’ but I don’t have strong feelings one way or another. It probably is very hard. The only opinion I have on her harks back to her TOWIE days, and she was awful then, but that was some time ago now.
Imo the children deserve to be taken away from the spotlight and allowed to grieve in private, not filmed in such raw moments. It’s not right, and R&K should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves for subjecting bereaved children to that

I agree with every word of this post.

Too much too soon imo. I have no opinions on adults moving on quickly with a new partner but I do have very strong opinions on giving children time and space to grieve properly and taking things VERY slowly and 2 years to move someone in ,rip the kitchen out and get married is an awful lot for kids to cope with.

[Starksforthewin]

@CantSayJack
I agree with every word of your post, you’ve summed up the thoughts I had watching the programme.

Kate was deeply unpleasant and egotistical on Towie and now she is trying to convince us she is Mother Theresa.

Rio is a shit, with a track record of appalling infidelity. Kate saw her chance, and definitely has £££ signs in her eyes.

She tried to make the viewers feel sorry for HER. Not the young woman who died, having to leave her children behind, or the children themselves, HER.

The moving of the photos and her desire for a new kitchen that “wasn’t Rebecca’s” was so insensitive.

I note the wider family wasn’t included in the programme. Rebecca’s family is probably disgusted and still grief stricken. I hope they get to see the children.
You could see Rio’s father was NOT impressed with his son’s behaviour, moving Kate in so quickly.

Totally selfish pair, exploiting those children for their own “celebrity”.