Rio and Kate : becoming a step family

[covetingthepreciousthings]

Anyone else going to be watching this tonight?

I watched the first one with Rio talking about the grief of losing Rebecca, it was so heartbreaking what the family all went through, I'm so pleased he seems to have found happiness. He seems like a nice guy.

BBC 1 at 9pm tonight.

[SouthWestmom]

I also find it interesting that many of the posters who criticise this couple for exploiting their children are the same posters who uphold Katie price as a shrewd business woman and just wanting to do the best for her children, even though she’s been exploiting them for years and has now lost custody of them.

Are you guessing that or have your cross referenced your spreadsheet? I have no idea what I've said about KP in the past, probably not much.

[YgritteSnow]

The only place these "rumours" about him being with Kate before his wife died are is the Mail comments sections. Arguably the most poisonous on line space in the U.K.

She was with Dan Edgar from TOWIE during that time and didn't meet Rio till a year after.

That said, I don't like him and never have. Horrible cheat and alleged drug user. My ex had a lot of insider knowledge of the football world due to his job and it was common knowledge that Rio and "Charlie" often were together...allegedly.

[AlternativePerspective]

Are you guessing that or have your cross referenced your spreadsheet? don’t be so obtuse. Fact is that there are plenty of people on MN who believe that KP can do no wrong while slating Peter Andre who is in fact the better parent. Calling her a shrewd business woman despite the fact she’s now bankrupt,

Talking about what a fantastic mum she is despite the fact she has had her kids’ lives pretty much on sale from the moment she conceived them, that would be the five different kids by three different men and a couple of other husbands in between.

While I don’t necessarily agree with this programme, there is a vast difference between a couple who at the very least appear to be doing the best they can for their kids and someone who has never shown herself as being anything but a shit mother.

[SouthWestmom]

*Alternative
*
No then, you don't have evidence that

'many of the posters [criticising K and R] are the same posters [who think KP] is a shrewd business woman'

Just made it up for your point. Thanks for clarifying.

[getyourarseoffthequattro]

i think half the issue is that Kate wouldnt be pulled up on things like what bikinis she wears if she was a biological mum. Nobody would care. Just like nobody cares when any other celeb mum gets papped on holiday.

Somehow its ok to call it inappropriate when she's not biologically related, when in RL it makes no difference.

[millymae]

I agree with chuffoff too.
Unless the programme turns out to have been telling lies it highlighted the problems faced by all couples, celebrity or not, who find themselves in this situation and showed what they were doing as a family to make sure that everyone adapted to the changes and that the children’s mum was not forgotten.
I thought they both came out of the programme very well, yes he didn’t seem to do much round the house (but that could be said about a lot of men) and yes, some of her clothing was a little low cut for my taste but that didn’t distract from the fact that she really seemed to appreciate how difficult things might be for the children, and that she wanted to make sure that any issues they might or could have were addressed so that they could lead happy lives and their mum was not forgotten.

[MurrayTheMonk]

I'm watching this now and I actually think it's a useful documentary. It's certainly making me think about my own situation and how my kids interact with DP, who isn't their Dad.

And I think Kate has come across well tbh. She's what, 27? And she had no experience of kids before she met Rio. The kids seem to really like her-and she seems to really care about them. She seemed to really be thinking about what's best for the kids and how to make a difficult situation work.

I thought Rio's Dad seemed like he'd been horrid to her actually. And her she stuck around. I think that's admirable.

Rio has been a bit of a twat in the past-but I don't think their is any intimation he had an affair with Kate before his wife died? Also whatever he has done-people are capable of change. I hope he is.

All the criticism of her bikini's is ridiculous. She can wear what she likes, same as any Mum.

[getyourarseoffthequattro]

murray its made me think about mine and dss relationship, though his mum is still very much alive! Its nice to see step kids actually loving a step parent, and that seen as being a positive thing. Its been drilled into poor DSS for so long that he shouldn't like me, let alone love me. I'm proud we have a relationship to show for it at all. I would love to have the same relationship with him that Kate has with the kids, but unfortunately with his mothers involvement i dont think that will happen until he's well into adulthood, but i do have hope.

Its also made me respect my own step dad loads more, i dont think i realised how hard it was for him taking on a 15yo girl! My dad isnt dead but had 0 involvement and hasn't for years.

[Womenwotlunch]

I don’t like either of them. He is a serial cheater and she’s insufferable.
I can’t help but think that he is using her as a live in babysitter
I hope for the sake of the kids that the marriage lasts, but I doubt it

[getyourarseoffthequattro]

she’s insufferable - in what way?

[NameChangeNugget]

I think it highlighted some really important issues, that may be of help and support to others.

I’m not a fan of the BBC however, for once they got it right.

[Bluerussian]

His mum lived not far from me, may still be there if she is still alive.

I don't know much about the guy, not a great football fan. I don't suppose he's any worse or better than a lot of others but what he is like now is of more importance.

[getyourarseoffthequattro]

his mum died of cancer 2 years after his wife russian it also mentioned the impact of her death on them all too. Really sad.

[MurrayTheMonk]

Quatro-exactly that... my kids also still have their dad and there is a difficulty in that his girlfriend was formerly my best friend. Lots of anger and hurt all over the place in our situation. But the part where the other bereaved kids were talking about how upsetting it was for everyone not to get along really got to me. We've got a long way to go before we get to that point but we really do need to try.
My girls are ok with My DP-but this has made me see it more from his point of view how hard it is to second guess yourself all the time in the role he is in.
And for me stuck in the middle it's also tricky and I hadn't realised quite how anxious I am all the time.
But ultimately it's nice to see an example as you said, where it can work out...there's a bit of hope there at least.

I don't think Kate came across as anything other than quite nice in the programme. I didn't like her when she was on TOWIE but maybe she has grown up a bit since then-I'm prepared to give the benefit of the doubt.

[Womenwotlunch]

@getyourarseoffthequattro- I admired her when she first got with Rio. She was a young girl taking on three bereaved children which is difficult . At the beginning, she seemed to be quite private about the whole thing and appeared to be doing a sterling job
Now I see her face in the papers ( in various states of undress) talking about exercise ,body issues etc, which in itself is not a problem. However, now she has started talking more about her role as a step mother and in my opinion, those kids are being exploited. Rather than hide the faces of the kids, they just need to stop making these documentaries.

[getyourarseoffthequattro]

right so @womenwotlunch you cant be a good step mother, and also have a book out called "fitter happier healthier" - it is literally a fitness book. I dont see what that has to do with exploiting the children at all it probably has much more to do with the fact that Rio obviously has always been into fitness, and she's now into it too what with moving in with him etc.

I dont think her "in various states of undress" has anything to do with her role as a step mother. Im assuming you wouldnt think anything less of a biological mother for writing a fitness book and being papped on holiday? Most of her shoots seem to be in gym clothes nowadays.

So judgemental.

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

Well she won’t be doing much actual running around after them; Rio is a multi millionaire, they’ll have loads of paid help on the domestic side.

[Elderflower14]

I purposely didn't watch. I hated the way he behaved towards his wife... One affair is terrible but TEN? I wonder what the children will think when they read about it... Or what is said to them at school..?
Poor lambs.. 😔😔 😔

[getyourarseoffthequattro]

I think its a bloody good thing she talks about. Because its taboo. Its not a subject people talk about because on the whole. You cant do right for being wrong as a step mother.

You dont talk about it and you obviously dont give a shit about the kids. You do talk about it and you're bigging yourself up, or exploiting the kids,

As a step mother myself, i really wish it was a subject people were more open about because it is such a damn hard job. It would be nice to hear other peoples struggles more often, and not feel so alone. It can be so isolating being a step mother. Its nice to hear that even all the money in the world doesnt make it easier, that she shares the same issues i did in the start. Its nice.

[getyourarseoffthequattro]

Well she won’t be doing much actual running around after them; Rio is a multi millionaire, they’ll have loads of paid help on the domestic side

imo thats not the hard part of step parenting. I run round after my own child, running round after 1 more isnt the issue. Its the relationships and how you go about them that is the issue, and no amount of nannies can solve that.

[Mrstraveller]

I watched it and found it hard. I have no idea about his past and don't know her because I've never watched TOWIE. My husband lost his wife to breast cancer at the same age. It really hurt when the children talked about worrying about another member of their family having cancer. I have spent the last 18 months being treated for the same type of breast cancer my husband's first wife had.

I think there are certain things that make this dynamic different than my experience. My step-son was an only child. I think with three of them they form a band on their own so it might be easier to accept a step-mum as they always have their siblings. Also money does make a difference I think. Kate appears to have moved in and doesn't have to work and seems to have taken on all the daily chores - school run etc. Rio would appear to have quite a traditional idea of a woman's role in the family. Also the children will know their father is rich. Another woman isn't going to threaten the set-up in terms of their housing, schooling, what dad can provide. They know they are safe from any disruption in that sense. I met my husband in my late 30's and my step-son was 10. I suppose in his mind there was always the risk that we might have children and obviously that would have taken away from him in terms of dad's attention and his lifestyle.

I thought some of the things were a bit over the top like the Mother's Day stuff. We approached that very differently. However, every family is different and you do have to be led by what the children want.

I thought Kate was really trying hard and I just hope she doesn't lose all of herself trying to do everything to keep Rio and the children happy.

We went through some of the same things. My husband had photos of his first wife in his bedroom and at one point I did say I don't mind them being everywhere in the rest of the house but in the bedroom it's now a bit strange (after we'd been seeing each other for years).

Again, can't judge Rio on his past but he did seem to be trying to provide the children with different ways to talk about their grief so I thought that was good.

It was so hard watching the children at the bereavement centre. It just shows how they can appear to be ok but really the grief is always there just below the surface.

[MrsWhites]

Wow! The absolute worst of Mumsnet on this thread, some disgusting comments!

I thought Kate came across very well, surely the fact that the children seem happy and are being supported through their tragedy is the main thing.

What happened between Rio and his first wife during their marriage is between them surely and as for calling someone an air head because she wears bikinis - really women supporting women!!

[getyourarseoffthequattro]

@Mrstraveller i never thought about the money in terms of new children and stability, admittedly. Thats a very good point.

for you - you've been through a lot.

[Bluerussian]

I said earlier I really don't know much about him - or her - but this thread prompted me to start watching the programme. I've only watched a bit. I was really quite surprised how they spoke, I'd imagined they would be well spoken, don't know why. I suppose that doesn't matter but her voice grates a bit after a while.

It's completely beyond me why any young woman would move in with a man who had three children, young children still at home and likely to be for a long time. I suppose the next thing will be her having a child.

Nah, not my thing.

[ballsdeep]

I thought they came across really well. Fair play to Kate for taking on 3 kids who had just lost their mum. Surely this is no different to simon Thomas who lost his wife and used social media to capture his grief? I think that they gave a real insight into what goes on, although I think the issue of her calling them "my kids" would bother me!