X FACTOR returns! And this time it's a CELEBRITY edition ***8.35 Sat***

[Raahh]

So, after all those years of watching wannabes trying to become somebodies, Simon has decided the way to go is to basically take a bunch of celebs and see if they can sing.

I've a feeling we've seen something like this before.

Tonight's auditions are in Malibu, and the first bunch of celebs are

Journalist, Martin Bashir, Quiz show champion, Jenny Ryan (is she off the Chase? )and Model and Actress, Hayley Hasselhoff.

Glee Actor, Kevin McHale, The Islanders, made up of former Love Island contestants Samira Mighty, Zara McDermott, Wes Nelson and Eyal Booker; and Social Media Stars and CBBC Presenters Max and Harvey.

Another group act 'Try Star' - rugby stars Ben Foden, Thom Evans and Levi Davis - and Professional dancer, Brendan Cole and actor, Jeremy Edwards who form Cole and Edwards.

I am not sure I know who most of these people are. But I don't watch Love Island. Maybe it is stretching the 'Celebrity' label a bit

I'll still get sucked in to watching , probably.

I've got vodka. If all else fails .

Hi all. You lot have been busy, 13 pages already! How has it been tonight? I just turned it on and am like, the fuck AM I watching? And Simon's face should have a disclaimer. I will have nightmares tonight. What's with the chicklet teeth?

Noisy

Oh it's over!

Ha ha ha

Simon: "I like you guys. You are very infectious "

Yes Simon, one if them maybe, but not in the way you think

Laughing at MK being Milton Keynes!
😀
Well, that was strange! See you all next week then! X

As ever the chat was better than the show, see you all next week

That was surprisingly good.And the song choices where at least different

I need to watch the bit I missed now although I think I will be making good use of FF

Simon looks fragile, needs a bit of fat back on those cheeks. I feel like I’ve walked into hotel grounds after dark with dodgy evening entertainment. Maybe the ‘guests’ are all Thomas Cook customers who got stuck in the US...

dillite
Rubbish Love Island Band, half decent embryos from CBBC, Martin Bashir(!), Poundland Robson & Jerome, The Hoff's daughter, Jenny from the Chase singing like Alison Moyet and 3 rugby blokes strutting about like God's gift.

I think that was about it

dillite it has been completely strange.

If we thought ordinary members of the public were deluded, it seems they have nothing on actual celebs. .

And everyone in Malibu has glowing teeth.

On the plus side, Shitsinger is back, and is as barmy as ever. Which is refreshing after Robbie and his wife.

Noisy brain, surely that voice was an octave deeper than Alison Moyet’s voice?

At least we have some nick names forming already.

Concur with everyone who says Simon looks skeletal and a bit cartoonish, his eyes stick out as well as his teeth.

Ok I watched the love island people. They were ok.

Don't like "are you on glee?" boy.

FF is such a good invention. I don't think it gets enough praise

The pained expressions of the crowd during the dirge of Edwards and Cole 😂

I didn't like Jenny, her voice sounded forced to me!

Try star were fab! What a song choice!! How they pulled it off!!

Hoffs daughter murdered Lewis capaldi, was awful!

noisy and raahh your summaries have me sold. I will ensure to be here next Saturday. With lots and lots of alcohol. And a lobotomy booked in for afters.

My cat is giving me extremely judging looks. I think he's planning an intervention.

Oh, dillite Alcohol is a must.

Although I think the cat probably has the right idea.

I did Sober October/X Factor a couple of years ago. Never again!

There is something of the Uncanny Valley to Simon's face which I find extremely unnerving and disturbing. I can just imagine poor little Eric: "Where's daddy? Who are you?" "I am your daddy, Eric." "No no, get away from me, mummmmyyyyyeeeeee, a man stole daddy's skin and stretched it over some teeth, make it stop."

It's like Tom Hanks in Polar Express, it's him, but it's not him, a grotesque approximation.

!I've Scherzi though, she's always good fun.

Not impressed with any of the contestants tonight, I'm holding out for Rikki.

I have a rubbish mash up of Cole and Edwards ; Bren and Ed : Bread ! ( told you it was bad)
Try hard sounds like most of them ' try it on' if the rumours are true and Martin could go rouge with calling himself ' Bash' if it's a rapper week.

Bash

I do agree, Chien that there is something Polar Express about Simon. We know it is him, but it just doesn't look like him. .

I now have the theme song to Polar Express in my head. It makes me cry. Damn you, Josh Groban. .

Si has had his eyebrow and eyelashes dyed up 'Malibu high road ; ' ( bet they don't charge £8.50 for the privilege, much more expensive up there)
He doesn't look well though.
Louis never seems to age and Nicole seems to look younger every year.
I miss Mrs williams though : I didn't mind her. She would have adored The vixen and the rugby players.

Ayda wasn't too bad- at least her critiques were quite sensible. I couldn't have put up with any more Robbie though. But the combination of the two of them was just too much.