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Telly addicts

Eurovision: The Results

799 replies

RedToothBrush · 18/05/2019 23:01

You've Survived Flat Madge.

Well Done.

Here are the finalists

  1. Malta - Maltese Molly And Her Pet Chameleon and Support Socks
  2. Albania - Rylan’s Nashers Channel Khalessi Yodelling
  3. Czech Republic - The Wiggles EuroFwend
  4. Germany - Meghan Markle and LeAnn Rimes
  5. Russia - Vanity Shower Screens
  6. Denmark - Ladders and Clouds
  7. San Marino - Right Said Fred Goes to Benidorm
  8. North Macedonia - Mel Off Eastenders
  9. Sweden - Gospel Lionel Richie
10. Slovenia - Dull and In Love. Apparently. Snore. Slow-venia. Creepy 11. Cyprus - Chandelier pants and PVC 12. Netherlands - A Nice Moody Ballad from Duncan the Dutchman 13. Greece - Nasally Don't Tell The Bride. 14. Israel - Is it Ross or Howard? What Freddie Mercury would have looked like had Borat played him. Is it David Blaine? 15. Norway - Ken The Spirited Club Style Yoiker. Come on Barbie! 16. United Kingdom - The John Lewis Christmas Ad 2019 17. Iceland - Do I Really Need to Remind You?!! Mad Max the Musical. 18. Estonia - Mr Wholesome with the Disappearing Guitar 19. Belarus - Britney Belarus 20. Azerbaijan - Shut Up! Lazzzzeerrrssss 21. France - Wigman. Gaga's Little Bro. 22. Italy - It wasn't me. Shaggy 2.0 23. Serbia - Wicked Ice Queen Angelina Jolie's Stunt Leg 24. Switzerland - Red Dirty Dancers and Rylan’s Outfit 25. Australia - Glenda The Good Witch on a Bouncy Stick. 26. Spain - Mel C and Bryan Adams Changing Rooms on IKEA Kallax Shelves
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JamieVardysHavingAParty · 20/05/2019 13:54

I feel a bit sorry for Michael(?) and I hope he had a brilliant experience, but it's clear that no one with any musical, artistic or production skill was allowed anywhere near him.

100% agreed.

We weren't trying to win. We put an inexperienced young singer (from a town most famous for hanging a monkey because they thought it was a Frenchman) up against really polished performers, like Cyprus's vocalist.

I'm not very knowledgeable about music but I love Eurovision, and I've picked up a bit over the years. Michael needed far more support to help him stand out among 26 entrants than he got. Absolutely no reflection on him, because other countries had performers who weren't all-singing, all-dancing miracle-workers and needed a team behind them. Those countries gave their performers that support. The UK didn't.

Winning Eurovision is often as much about providing visual spectacle and memorability as musical quality. Not always, but often.

Consider Denmark's entrant. I had a feeling she wasn't big on singing and dancing at the same time. Huge minus there. So they compensated for it by sticking her on a huge chair and had her backing team swaying in time with her. And it worked. I remembered Denmark at the end! They made my shortlist.

Michael needed a better costume, and some cool stage effects, same as almost everyone else got. That song was not strong enough to wow people with one singer and some backing dancers twirling around a bit.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 20/05/2019 14:02

That's a fascinating analysis, @RedToothBrush.

My own feeling FWIW is that current entries are lacking that soaring anthemic quality that stirs the emotions. We seem to be able to generate them for X factor so why we can't for Eurovision so don't know. We'll never win again, of course, the politics are too much against us. But we could put something forward that wasn't doomed to fail. And sending a young lad like Michael Rice in to fly the flag is just cruel.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 20/05/2019 14:18

On the subject of whether the UK can win again- the whole reason we have Eurovision is to heal the wounds of the second world war. Remember how long it took Germany to win? 2010!

Only took 65 years after the end of WWII!

banivani · 20/05/2019 16:00

I highly dislike the stage shows who are gimmicky for the sake of it, like Denmarks giant chair or Russia's tiny ice rink. However, Australia's ladies on sticks worked because zero gravity was the theme. But you're right Jamie, you need something a bit memorable as a rule. If you're a very strong singer with enormous charisma that's all you need of course but hey, it's Eurovision, let's be realistic Wink. Even Marija Šerifović (Molitva) (yes I had to google her) had something that stood out visually because she chose an unusual outfit (for Eurovision).

As a European I'd have to say the UK are not disliked particularly. This is a very maudlin attitude that has to stop. Swedes love the UK as a place (and def as a shopping destination). The thing is, Sweden is OBSESSED with Eurovision and has therefore made it a project to win it. We have international jury groups in our tryouts ffs to make sure our winner has international appeal. There is work behind the scoreboard. It's all Christer Björkman.

I have to say, if Ed Sheeran's Shape Of You had been in the competition there's no way you'd have been less than top 5 for example.

Also, I just noticed this
RedToothBrush
I am pondering if the comments about not liking the Russian entry because it was 'Lloyd webbery' is actually picking up on the beats as mentioned in Kit's thread.

Yes, since it was my comment, let's pretend it is so I can finally claim some musicality Grin

Itssosunny · 20/05/2019 17:11

I have to say, if Ed Sheeran's Shape Of You had been in the competition there's no way you'd have been less than top 5 for example

This is exactly what I told my DH!
We need a hit not just an ok song. It doesn't matter if the vocals are great because if everything else is boring then who cares. We need something that we would want to listen to while driving or at home. Something that we would want to listen to again because of how cool the song is.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 20/05/2019 17:26

Something that we would want to listen to again because of how cool the song is.

The only recent UK entry that comes close to that, imo, is Electro Velvet's Still in Love With You, and that's a little bit of a stretch. Meanwhile I can think of a fair few previous non-UK Eurovision entries that I have on my regular playlist...

Oliversmumsarmy · 20/05/2019 17:29

The problem is that no one of any note wants to do it.
It appears to be a career killer.

What ever happened to Katrina and the Waves.

Won Eurovision and within a couple of years gone

Ohnotanothernamechange · 20/05/2019 17:36

Germany won the contest for the first time in 1982. 2010 was their second win.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 20/05/2019 17:53

Germany won the contest for the first time in 1982. 2010 was their second win.

You're completely right.

See guys, the outlook's even more positive. So long as we send in a decent song and bother with spending money on production, we'll could win again within five years!

Itssosunny · 20/05/2019 18:59

Maybe we should invite someone from abroad? Verka could do really wellHmm

RageAgainstTheVendingMachine · 20/05/2019 19:30

Verka should have won that year and did a great job of Toy on Saturday even though all four lipsynced the switch up.
Germany's 2nd win funnily enough was when UK hosted- Nicole then sang A little Peace in 4 languages when she won and it was no 1 in the 10 countries it was released in including England. Not bad for a 17 year old.
Germany has made the top 3 a further eleven times but has been last
on seven occasions getting nil points three times.

RageAgainstTheVendingMachine · 20/05/2019 19:41

Blue with I can was a fab UK entry - It came 11th but Lee had the sore throat/bum note.
We needed Will Young or George Ezra on Saturday Smile

Itssosunny · 20/05/2019 20:05

I still can't understand why did we sent Bonnie Tyler to Moscow(?) as she couldn't sing? It was quite embarrassing.

Itssosunny · 20/05/2019 20:05

"send"

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 20/05/2019 21:56

I feel that way about a lot of entries, Itssosunny. For example, still can't understand why we entered Daz Sampson and that awful routine with the backing dancers dressed in school uniform.

Think I recall hiding my head in a cushion for that.

Then there was Scooch and Flying the Flag, which was another case of the dance routine making a bad song worse.

Maybe those mistakes way back when were why they didn't invest in supporting poor Michael this year.

Hithere12 · 20/05/2019 22:02

We weren't trying to win

I always hear that the BBC really doesn’t want us to win because of the costs to host the event if we do. It makes me so mad Angry like why are we even in it? I don’t even root for the UK because I know we don’t stand a chance.

We put an inexperienced young singer (from a town most famous for hanging a monkey because they thought it was a Frenchman) up against really polished performers, like Cyprus's vocalist

Yeah you have Russia having one of their biggest, most popular singers in their country (Sergey Laverez) and we put up an inexperienced kid no one has ever heard of. And then complain it’s political why we didn’t win 😂

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 20/05/2019 22:38

I googled and Cyprus's "not a sitting down outfit" lady has been a mentor on X Factor for two separate countries: X Factor Georgia and The X Factor Greece. No wonder she owned that stage from the moment she walked on to it!

There was such a stark contrast between Tamta, whose career was launched by the Greek version of Pop Idol about 15 years ago, and Michael Rice who is trying to start his career from reality singing shows. Amazingly similar career beginnings, but such different stages. I hope this result doesn't halt his career in its tracks.

It's not fair to send a fledgling musician to Eurovision.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 20/05/2019 22:59

I LOVED Scooch's entry! In fact I just watched it on YouTube and it's better (and filthier!) than I remembered. Maybe not a winner but hugely entertaining.

bluebell34567 · 20/05/2019 23:11

i wish they played Norway's entry again on TV. it was really good.
i couldnt understand what was so special about North Macedonia's entry.
Belarus girl has future.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 20/05/2019 23:30

I thought North Macedonia did so well because people felt sorry for the country having to change its name.

Or alternatively, because across Europe, confused people at Eurovision parties were voting for it in order to pretend they knew where it was!

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 21/05/2019 00:08

Thinking about it, it's rather lovely that North Macedonia did so well under its new name. It was like a welcome (back) onto the international stage. Isn't that what Eurovision is ultimately about?

mathanxiety · 21/05/2019 03:11

MyMumDimensionJumps
Why do we base our song on a bad X-factor entry that only Louis Walsh would support? However, other countries enter equally dull songs and come top/mid table.

But they are not equally dull songs if they have come top/mid table.

The songs that have made it to the final have been voted for in the semis, unlike the UK entry.

Maybe you are not hearing what two rounds of voters have heard.

And unless someone can come up with a breakdown of votes showing clearly that EU voters have refused to vote for UK entries, it is time to stop the whinging about political voting.

Said it before here, but what do you honestly think the likes of Armenia, Azerbaijan, and Israel have against the UK that might motivate a political withholding of votes? Or the average teenager with a phone anywhere in the EU for that matter?

The UK entry gets chosen by some committee that is apparently answerable to nobody, and proceeds straight to the final regardless of quality. Other entries that might be pretty good are squeezed out to make room for the Big Five and the audience at home has to listen to utter mediocrity. Only Italy of the Big Five sent a good entry this year imo, though France usually makes an effort - I didn't rate their entry. The rest - Spain, UK and Germany - would have come last in their semis if Ireland hadn't if they had had to compete.

Maybe the UK committee feels the UK is doing enough just by showing up and making a token effort, and being good sports about losing. Maybe being unable to get the act together for Eurovision reflects some national neurosis.
Maybe it's true that the BBC doesn't want to host the show. But ultimately money is being spent whether the UK bombs or does well.

mathanxiety · 21/05/2019 03:27

What ever happened to Katrina and the Waves.
Won Eurovision and within a couple of years gone

Katrina and the Waves were a well-established Anglo-American band that had a massive global hit in 1985 with 'Walking on Sunshine' and the album it appeared on.

They also wrote 'Going Down to Liverpool' which was covered by The Bangles.

They were well known in Europe and Canada by the 90s. 'Love Shine a Light' was something of a comeback for them.

mathanxiety · 21/05/2019 04:19

And I think the fact that Katrina and the Waves won also points to the fact that seasoned performers with good songs have a much better chance than wet behind the ears UK singers who go into the contest thinking that they will do another Abba - that the Eurovision will catapult them from obscurity.

This of course is a misguided notion about Abba, who were also seasoned performers, though relatively new as a band.

It's not just performance experience though - as the Engelbert Humperdink and Bonnie Tyler episodes illustrate. You have to have a good song.

banivani · 21/05/2019 06:32

But of course ultimately it feels even worse if a seasoned performer bombs - I felt so sorry for Bonnie!

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